Bob Lancelot and Claire are sitting in their locker room backstage watching Aggressive Behavior on a TV, Bob is drinking a can of soda when there is an unexpected knock at the door, Bob stands up, walks over to the door and slowly opens it. Schnitzel is standing on the other side.
Schnitzel: Hello Bob, I am ghost of Christmas past, I came by to beat the shit out of youuuuu.
Bob: What the fuck do you want?
Schnitzel: Well I was just walking around here...and there...and everywhere....and I bought a farm along the way.
Bob: Look, I don't know what you are talking about but I'm just going to put it on record that I will not assist you in your match tonight. Ok?
Claire steps up from the sofa and walks towards the door.
Schnitzel: Why, it's the fat cow I was looking for!
Claire: Look, you fucking freak, you better not interfere in Bob's match tonight, because if he loses, I have to spend the night with James Orich.
Schnitzel: Don't be shy, he?s not a stranger!
Bob: Just don't interfere ok?
Schnitzel: Why not, the laws of Wissssssssconson do not forbid me to interfere in professional wrestling matches.
Bob: If you so much as set foot on that entrance ramp during my match I promise, that when I'm done beating Orich's ass, I will beat your ass all over the state of Wisconsin.
Schnitzel:Wissssccconnsssoonn!!!
Bob throws the contents of the can of soda in Schnitzel's face. Schnitzel wipes the liquid from his eyes and then stares blankly at Bob, the soda dripping off the end of his nose.
Schnitzel: Wow, I didn't know you disliked Wissssccoonnssooonnn so much.
Bob: I fucking hate Wisconsin.
Schnitzel: By the way, dear Mr. Ourlage booked me to do commentary in your match. Hah.
Schnitzel walks away, laughing, before doing a Flair Flop whilst Bob and Claire look at each other in disbelief.
*?Outshined? by Soundgarden blares throughout the arena. ?The Analytical Warrior? James Dawson appears on the ramp way. Katana unsheathed, JD appears to slice through a cloud of fog, then salutes the ring. He sheathes the sword, then slowly saunters down to the ring. He climbs up the steps and enters the ring between the top and middle ropes, then pauses and draws his katana and points it at the entrance area. He then salutes again, then sheathes the katana and hands it to a crewmember nearby.*
Al: Last time these two squared of in this ring, Dawson was eaten like a sausage by Schnitzel.
Daniels: Don?t forget Althea Schnitzel got the win over him thanks to a certain Bob Lancelot.
Al: Whatever.
*?Hannibal Overture? is played and Schnitzel takes his time to appear. He takes a look at Dawson and chuckles and then makes his way down the ramp way. He stops a few feet from the ring and turns slowly to the crewmember who is currently wielding Dawson?s sword. He yanks it away with force and stares at it for a while. He then begins to point the sword to random locations in a ridiculous way, mockingly emulating James Dawson.*
Daniels: Schnitzel better be careful with that sword or he just might hurt a member of the audience.
Al: Fuck yeah! There are chicks in the crowd!
*Dawson decides he?s had enough of Schnitzel?s taunting and steps out of the ring to confront him.
Dawson charges and strikes Schnitzel with an elbow. Schnitzel stumbles backwards, and in response hits Dawson?s head with the blunt side of his sword! The Referee can not disqualify Schnitzel because the match hasn?t officially begun yet. Schnitzel picks up Dawson, who seems out from the blow and rolls him into the ring. Schnitzel then rolls in himself and the ref calls for the opening bell.*
Daniels: Dawson seems to be unconscious from the blow. Will he be able to continue?
Al: He?s out before the match hasn?t even begun? What a wuss.
*Schnitzel takes kindly to beating down Dawson?s head with some fury punches. No response is visible from Dawson as Schnitzel picks him up and tries to whip him to the ropes. Dawson just tumbles back to the mat.
Schnitzel looks down at him and laughs as him drags him to the middle of the ring and slowly climbs the ropes.
Schnitzel taunts some more before jumping on Dawson with a diving headbutt. Dawson rolls out of harm?s way at the last second and Schnitzel eats mat! Dawson slowly covers Schnitzel with his arm.
1
2?shoulder up.*
Daniels: Schnitzel made a fatal mistake when he climbed the ropes, thus giving Dawson time to recover.
Al: I?m feeling?apathetic.
*The ref counts to ten for the two fallen wrestlers. Dawson uses the ropes to get to his feet when the count reaches 7. The groggy Dawson picks Schnitzel up and hits him with a European Uppercut before planting him down with a neckbreaker. Schnitzel grabs his neck in pain as Dawson measures him. Schnitzel gets to his knees and Dawson acts as he strikes him with a reverse enziguri. Schnitzel once again grabs his neck in pain while Dawson jumps to the ropes and awaits the big man?s ascension. When Schnitzel gets up, Dawson jumps off the corner, attempting a missile dropkick. Schnitzel however manages to catch his legs. The back of Dawson?s head bumps the mat and Schnitzel begins to swing him around for a while and sends Dawson flying to the other side of the ring.*
Daniels: Yowsers! That must have been pretty painful for Dawson.
Al: Yowsers? What the fuck?
*Schnitzel slowly approaches Dawson, who is silently moaning. Schnitzel rolls him to his back and hits a leg drop.
Dawson grabs at his throat as Schnitzel covers.
1
2
3?No, Dawson kicks out.
Schnitzel yells at the ref to ring the bell, and the ref tell him it was only a two count. Schnitzel sighs and picks Dawson up. He locks in a side headlock and tilts Dawson around. The crowd cheers as Dawson manages to get out of the hold and whip Schnitzel to the ropes, but quickly die down as Schnitzel rebounds with a boot to Dawson?s face. Dawson rolls around the ring, clutching his face. Schnitzel goes to pick him up. For some reason he stalls, which allows Dawson to catch him with a small package.
1
2..Schnitzel kicks out*
Daniels: A close fall there, as the match almost went to Dawson?s favor.
Al:*Reading a TV guide.* Wow, there?s a re run of Baywatch after AB.
*Dawson gets up and fires at Schnitzel with various chops, elbow strikes and palm strikes. Schnitzel stands tall however, and lays down Dawson with a short arm clothesline. Schnitzel then locks in a sleeper hold. Dawson fights for air as the referee checks if Schnitzel isn?t strangling him. Just as Dawson ceases to resist, Schnitzel willingly releases the hold. Schnitzel picks him up and drills him to the mat with a sick DDT. Schnitzel greens as he goes to the cover.
1
2
3?NO!!!!
Schnitzel looks on in disbelief when the ref explains to him that he didn?t win. Schnitzel begins to work efficient, picking up Dawson and does a swinging neckbreaker. He picks him up again and performs a snap suplex.
Schnitzel picks Dawson up one more time and lifts him up for a powerbomb. But Dawson reverses it with a head scissors. Dawson runs to the ropes and hits Schnitzel with a baseball slide, knocking him out of the ring. Dawson waits for Schnitzel to rise up, and hits him with a palancha suicide moonsault corkscrew boomshine?whatever, a really flashy high flying move. Schnitzel?s head bumps into the guard rail. and the fans begin to roar as the stream of blood begins to flow form the back of Schnitzel?s head.*
Daniels: What a move by Dawson! It was so awesome?.I don?t even know how to call it!
Al: Schnitzel may have just suffered a cerebral malfunction right there. How ironic, I love it!
*The ref begins the count out as both wrestlers seem knocked out. Dawson struggles to his feet while Schnitzel shows no signs of movement. Dawson gets up and grabs Schnitzel by the collar of his shirt, he throws him into the ring and barley gets in himself before the count reaches 10. Dawson sights the bleeding from the back of his adversary?s head and smiles. He whacks Schnitzel with cuffing blow to the back of his head. Schnitzel was surely pissed off, as he kicks Dawson in the stomach and plunged him down with a piledriver. Dawson grabs his neck in pain. The referee asks Schnitzel is he is okay. Schnitzel replies ?Does it look like I?m okay?? and smears some of his blood on the ref?s shirt.*
Daniels: God Schnitzel just disgusts me sometimes.
Al: He disgusts me all the time.
*Schnitzel climbs the ropes again for some reason, repeating the scenario of their last match.*
Al: Does he ever learn?
*Schnitzel waits for Dawson to get up. Once he gets up, Schnitzel jumps off?
And locks in the Dark Claw in mid air, crushing Dawson?s head to the mat! The ref checks Dawson and calls for the bell!
Announcer: The winner of this match by knock out, Dark Schnitzel!
*?Hannibal Overture? blares through the arena as Schnitzel releases the hold and nudges with the edge of his boot at Dawson?s aching head. The ref raises his hand in victory, to the dislike of Schnitzel, who throws him to the mat in an oriental fashion. Schnitzel rolls out of the ring, looks at Dawson?s sword and laughs. He walks slowly up the ramp as the blood stains the back of his jacket.*
Daniels: And Schnitzel wins again.
Al: Did you have any doubts? Dawson sucks donkey balls.
0
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- Fed Staff
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That's How We Roll
Posted 18 April 2006 - 09:09 PM
"Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence hits, after about 20 seconds SYSFI appears on the ramp. He takes his time walking down the ramp way. He stops about 7 feet before the ring. The camera then spans around him slowly as he scans the ring and the referee before awaiting his opponent.
The lights fade out to black, leaving only the flash bulbs from the cameras in the crowd to light the arena. Lightly in the background we begin to hear the Gregorian chant before an ominous voice resonates over top of it.
And I vest my flashing sword
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who have has me
O Lord, raise me to thy hand
And count me among thy saints
Never shall innocent blood be shed
Yet the blood of the wicked shall flow forth like a river
The one shall spread his blackened wings
And be the vengeful striking hammer of God
The chant ends as the crowd grows in anticipation. Suddenly the first guitar chords of Sevendust?s ?Enemy? echo throughout as white strobe lights begin to flicker on the stage. A white smoke also emanates from stage as a dark, foreboding figure begins to appear in the background. Suddenly the amplitude of the guitar rifts is kicked up as Nate Redman forges ahead to tremendous heat from the crowd. His girlfriend Emily follows closely behind as Redman does not acknowledge the crowd as he rumbles down the aisle with his head down, appearing completely focused on the task at hand. Redman heads straight to his corner and climbs the middle rope, posing for the crowd before returning to the canvas, staring down his much larger opponent.
*DING DING*
As soon as the bell rings SYSFI sprints across the ring and catches Redman with a right hand. The smaller Redman stumbles back into the corner. SYSFI peppers Redman with right hands in the corner as the referee tries to break up the melee. SYSFI mounts Redman in the corner and continues to rock the former WOF World Champion with right hands on the head. SYSFI swings wildly about the face and head of Redman before jumping back down onto the canvas. Redman stumbles out of the corner and is leveled with an uppercut shot from SYSFI. Emily looks concerned on the outside as SYSFI fires Redman off of the ropes and drops him to the canvas with a back body drop. SYSFI grabs Redman by the hair and drags him over to the second rope before choking him across it. SYSFI smartly stops the illegal choke before the count of five, avoiding the disqualification. SYSFI picks up Redman and shoves him into the corner before connecting with two more stiff right hands. Redman crumbles to the canvas and tries to crawl away from SYSFI but is cut off with a sick boot the ribs. Redman yells in pain before SYSFI picks up The Empire Saint and fires him into the corner. The force of the Irish whip is so great the Redman bounces out of the corner and falls to the canvas. SYSFI waits patiently for Redman to get up and when he does, SYSFI charges, clotheslining Redman over the top rope and crashing to the concrete floor.
Daniels: The Empire Saint is not looking good Al!
Al: I know! Hey wait! Look out Emily!
SYSFI takes his mind off of Redman for a moment and slides outside the ring, directly next to Emily. Emily immediately begins to retreat, as SYSFI slowly begins to stalk her. Redman pulls himself up on the opposite side of the ring and tries to sneak up from behind on SYSFI, but SYSFI senses it and catches Redman with a right hand, sending him to the concrete. SYSFI picks up Redman and rolls him back into the ring before kicking The Empire Saint in the head. SYSFI follows up with another kick to the head before mounting Redman and connecting with several right hands. SYSFI grabs Redman by the foot and drags him into the center of the ring before connecting with an elbow drop. SYSFI immediately follows up with a blatant choke, but releases before being disqualified. Redman is picked up by his opponent but Redman connects with a desperation thumb to the eyes. SYSFI stumbles back into the ropes rubbing his face as Redman sprints off of the ropes. Redman charges at SYSFI, but he side steps the former champion sending him over the top rope. Redman lands on the outside apron but SYSFI grab him by the hair and slams the Empire Saint face first off of the top turnbuckle. Redman stumbles back into the middle of the outside apron as SYSFI sprints off of the ropes and connects with a running big boot which sends Redman flying off of the apron and crashing to the concrete floor!
Daniels: SYSFI is completely dominating the former WOF Champion Al!
Al: This is quite an impressive showing for the rookie!
SYSFI follows Redman to the outside before slamming him face first off of the steel ringside barricade. SYSFI follows up his attack with by placing Redman in a bear hug before ramming him spine first into that same steel ringside barricade. Emily gets too close for SYSFI?s liking and he chases her off before turning his attention back to Redman. He grabs Redman and lifts him up onto his shoulder but Emily immediately runs over and grabs her boyfriend?s foot, pulling him out of the grips of SYSFI! Redman capitalizes by shoving SYSFI forward, directly into the steel ring post! SYSFI goes down in a heap as Emily checks over her man. SYSFI is slow to his feet but immediately dropped to the concrete floor with a running Mafia kick from Redman! Emily looks on in approval as Redman slides back into the ring to take a breather. SYSFI slowly pulls himself back to a vertical base before trying to slide back into the ring, only to meet a baseball slide from Redman which sends the big man back crashing to the concrete floor.
Daniels: Some help from that jezebel and Redman is right back in this thing!
Al: Jezebel? Emily is a fine upstanding citizen Daniels! You better watch what you are saying!
Redman again waits for SYSFI to slide back into the ring before stomping on his back. Redman stomps away on the neck and head of SYSFI, setting him up for his two primary finishers. Redman lifts up SYSFI and connects with a right hand that sends the big man stumbling back into the corner. Redman takes a step back before charging, driving his shoulder into the abdomen of SYSFI. SYSFI crumbles to the canvas as Redman plots his next offensive attack. Redman uses the ropes to spring up and drive a knee into the chest of SYSFI, trying to take the air out of the big man. Redman does this several more times before the official gives him a warning. The Empire Saint picks up his opponent and measures him with not one, not two, but three stiff right hands. SYSFI wobbles but does not go down. Redman follows up again with some more right hands but they don?t seem to faze SYSFI! After a few more shots from Redman, SYSFI is now ASKING for Redman to hit him!
Al: Redman is completely confused out there! I don?t think anyone in their right mind would ask for a right hand from Nate Redman!
Redman gives SYSFI what he wants but SYSFI just bounces back with a series of right hands of his own that stun the Empire Saint. SYSFI fires Redman off of the ropes and goes for a body slam but the Empire Saint floats over and connects with a Halo DDT! SYSFI screams out in pain as Redman goes for the lateral press.
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
SYSFI kicks out and immediately sits up! Redman cannot believe it as he hustles to his feet. He and SYSFI meet in the center of the ring and begin to exchange right hands with SYSFI taking the advantage, dropping Redman with a big right. Redman pulls himself up into the corner but is immediately met with a running clothesline from SYSFI. SYSFI follows up with an Irish whip into the corner before charging in, only to catch a back elbow from Redman. Redman climbs up onto the middle turnbuckle as SYSFI stumbles back into the center of the ring. SYSFI turns around as Redman leaps off of the middle rope, only to be caught by the throat! SYSFI lifts Redman up and connects with a chokeslam! SYSFI goes for the cover!
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
Redman kicks out before the count of three. Emily looks down right frightened from what she is seeing in the ring as SYSFI picks up Redman and drops him with the snake eyes on the top turnbuckle. Redman stumbles out of the corner and is immediately leveled with a short arm clothesline from SYSFI. SYSFI goes for the lateral press!
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
Redman kicks out again. SYSFI sends Redman off of the ropes and looks for a back body drop but Redman anticipates and drills SYSFI with a boot to the face. SYSFI staggers back as Redman runs off of the ropes, but is immediately caught with a ? neckbreaker! SYSFI goes for the cover!
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
Redman just gets the shoulder up before the count of three. SYSFI looks up to the top rope before walking over to the opposite corner and heading up. Emily looks very concerned as she screams for Redman to get up. Redman does as SYSFI leaps off of the top rope but Redman catches SYSFI in mid stream before slamming him to the canvas with a spine buster! Both men are down and hurt in the center of the ring as the referee begins his mandatory count. Both men struggle to their feet and Redman looks for a spear, but is met with a big boot from SYSFI! SYSFI signals for the end of the match as he waits for Redman to get up. Redman does and SYSFI catches him with a boot to the stomach before setting him up for the Chronic Injury. Suddenly Emily rolls into the ring armed with a steel chair! SYSFI drops Redman and turns his attention to Emily who is surprisingly standing her ground. SYSFI takes a step toward her and she swings the chair, but SYSFI catches it! SYSFI rips the steel chair away from her before grabbing her by the throat! SYSFI chokes her to the canvas before picking up the steel chair. SYSFI opens up the steel chair and places it around the neck of Emily!
Al: Oh God no! Don?t do it!
SYSFI takes a step back but walks right into the grips of Nate Redman and a guillotine choke! SYSFI?s arms swing wildly to break free but he does not appear to be able to do so. Redman wraps his legs around the body of SYSFI trying to bring the big man down to the canvas. Suddenly in a last ditch effort SYSFI falls backward, slamming Redman into the turnbuckles! Redman releases the hold and stumbles out of the corner before being taken down with a face buster! SYSFI picks up Redman and goes for the Poor Man?s Death but Redman floats over and connects with a modified version of the Deal Breaker!
Daniels: Holy Shit! That was out of nowhere!
SYSFI is out cold in the center of the ring as Redman goes for the cover.
One?
Two?
THREE!!!
Redman advances in the Road for the Championship!!!
Winner via pinfall: ?The Empire Saint? Nate Redman
**The scene opens with James Orich getting ready to make an interview. To address the things that Bob Lancelot said about him and his girlfriend. Next to James, is Emily. She is dressed in a nice, silk, black dress, and her hair tied up in a bun. James is wearing his usual short sleeve dress shirt with red tie, black jeans, and messy, dreaded hair. There?s a man in the corner messing with a camera**
James: "So you excited about tonight?"
Emily: "Of course! And now I'm comfortable knowing that you're not going to bet me on a stupid match."
James: "I wouldn't do that. He treats Claire like a cheap whore, willing to trade her for a loss."
**The door opens up, and a man in a suit and tie walks in. He has grey slicked back hair, and looks to be about 45. The man is carrying a box which has a piece of paper on top.**
The Man: "Uh.. Package for James Orich?"
**James looks at Emily, than back at the guy. He walks over and signs the piece of paper, thinking its just delivery conformation. The man smiles**
The Man: "Thank you sir. And good luck tonight."
**James nods and the man leaves the room. Emily joins James by his side as he opens the package. When it gets opened, it?s the box that Bob Lancelot and Claire were holding in their attack on James and Emily. They both start laughing.**
Emily: "Throw that stuff away, its ridiculous!"
**James picks up a big, floppy dildo, still laughing**
James: "Come on! We could use this! This stuff is expensive!"
**They laugh for a few more seconds, than James puts the box away**
James: "So.. uhm. Your parents.. are they.. ?"
Emily: "No, not really. They're surprisingly relaxed about it. They wished I had waited a few months until I knew you more.. but it?s fine. They're really cool about it."
Camera Man: "Excuse me, Mr. Orich. We're ready for you."
**James nods at the camera man, than kisses Emily on the cheek**
James: "You have fun tonight, okay? And don't worry. You'll be fine. Tell Bryan I said hi."
**Emily smiles and leaves the room, waving bye as she leaves. The camera man directs James where to stand. This is his first professional statement.**
James: "Hey Lancelot! You've got some balls, man. I respect that. I mean, going on live TV and trying to bring me down, than making that match stipulation. But, think about it. Why would I ever agree to it? I mean, it makes no sense. I?m not the kind of guy who would put his girl on the line. I?m not the kind of guy who would cheat on his girl even if he won. That stipulation has nothing for me, so no. I will not be doing it. And on another note, I decided. Maybe I was being too nice. I did a little research and found these pictures. *He looks down at a picture that he pulls out of his pocket, but it?s not visible.* I could be a real dick in this business. But I?m not, so don't worry about it. But lets just say, I got a picture here of your Claire standing on a balcony, giving a show. *He puts it back in his pocket* So. My third singles match, none with a win. I?m looking to change that tonight. Because tonight.. Lancelot. You're going down."
**James smiles and the camera fades. When it?s off, someone rushes into the door, yelling for James to turn on the TV. When James does, it?s the delivery guy from earlier, standing next to a publicist.**
Publicist: "Okay, you sure he?s watching? Good. James. Mr. Orich. Quite a fun.. thing you had there. But the truth of the matter is you agreed to the stipulation!"
**James looks at the camera, his mouth moving in the shapes of swearwords.**
Publicist: "This piece of paper. *He holds up the delivery conformation that James signed* This was an agreement to the stipulation. This man next to me is a lawyer. He saw you sign it. Legally binding. Thank you for your time, Mr. Orich."
**The camera looking at James is quickly turned on to catch Orich's reaction. His face is white, and he looks afraid. In a split second, James takes the photo out of his pocket and puts it up to the camera. There, in the picture, is Claire. She is wearing an open robe and underwear. That?s it. The camera fades back out, once the man realizes James isn't about to speak, and isn't going to move the picture.**
The lights fade out to black, leaving only the flash bulbs from the cameras in the crowd to light the arena. Lightly in the background we begin to hear the Gregorian chant before an ominous voice resonates over top of it.
And I vest my flashing sword
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who have has me
O Lord, raise me to thy hand
And count me among thy saints
Never shall innocent blood be shed
Yet the blood of the wicked shall flow forth like a river
The one shall spread his blackened wings
And be the vengeful striking hammer of God
The chant ends as the crowd grows in anticipation. Suddenly the first guitar chords of Sevendust?s ?Enemy? echo throughout as white strobe lights begin to flicker on the stage. A white smoke also emanates from stage as a dark, foreboding figure begins to appear in the background. Suddenly the amplitude of the guitar rifts is kicked up as Nate Redman forges ahead to tremendous heat from the crowd. His girlfriend Emily follows closely behind as Redman does not acknowledge the crowd as he rumbles down the aisle with his head down, appearing completely focused on the task at hand. Redman heads straight to his corner and climbs the middle rope, posing for the crowd before returning to the canvas, staring down his much larger opponent.
*DING DING*
As soon as the bell rings SYSFI sprints across the ring and catches Redman with a right hand. The smaller Redman stumbles back into the corner. SYSFI peppers Redman with right hands in the corner as the referee tries to break up the melee. SYSFI mounts Redman in the corner and continues to rock the former WOF World Champion with right hands on the head. SYSFI swings wildly about the face and head of Redman before jumping back down onto the canvas. Redman stumbles out of the corner and is leveled with an uppercut shot from SYSFI. Emily looks concerned on the outside as SYSFI fires Redman off of the ropes and drops him to the canvas with a back body drop. SYSFI grabs Redman by the hair and drags him over to the second rope before choking him across it. SYSFI smartly stops the illegal choke before the count of five, avoiding the disqualification. SYSFI picks up Redman and shoves him into the corner before connecting with two more stiff right hands. Redman crumbles to the canvas and tries to crawl away from SYSFI but is cut off with a sick boot the ribs. Redman yells in pain before SYSFI picks up The Empire Saint and fires him into the corner. The force of the Irish whip is so great the Redman bounces out of the corner and falls to the canvas. SYSFI waits patiently for Redman to get up and when he does, SYSFI charges, clotheslining Redman over the top rope and crashing to the concrete floor.
Daniels: The Empire Saint is not looking good Al!
Al: I know! Hey wait! Look out Emily!
SYSFI takes his mind off of Redman for a moment and slides outside the ring, directly next to Emily. Emily immediately begins to retreat, as SYSFI slowly begins to stalk her. Redman pulls himself up on the opposite side of the ring and tries to sneak up from behind on SYSFI, but SYSFI senses it and catches Redman with a right hand, sending him to the concrete. SYSFI picks up Redman and rolls him back into the ring before kicking The Empire Saint in the head. SYSFI follows up with another kick to the head before mounting Redman and connecting with several right hands. SYSFI grabs Redman by the foot and drags him into the center of the ring before connecting with an elbow drop. SYSFI immediately follows up with a blatant choke, but releases before being disqualified. Redman is picked up by his opponent but Redman connects with a desperation thumb to the eyes. SYSFI stumbles back into the ropes rubbing his face as Redman sprints off of the ropes. Redman charges at SYSFI, but he side steps the former champion sending him over the top rope. Redman lands on the outside apron but SYSFI grab him by the hair and slams the Empire Saint face first off of the top turnbuckle. Redman stumbles back into the middle of the outside apron as SYSFI sprints off of the ropes and connects with a running big boot which sends Redman flying off of the apron and crashing to the concrete floor!
Daniels: SYSFI is completely dominating the former WOF Champion Al!
Al: This is quite an impressive showing for the rookie!
SYSFI follows Redman to the outside before slamming him face first off of the steel ringside barricade. SYSFI follows up his attack with by placing Redman in a bear hug before ramming him spine first into that same steel ringside barricade. Emily gets too close for SYSFI?s liking and he chases her off before turning his attention back to Redman. He grabs Redman and lifts him up onto his shoulder but Emily immediately runs over and grabs her boyfriend?s foot, pulling him out of the grips of SYSFI! Redman capitalizes by shoving SYSFI forward, directly into the steel ring post! SYSFI goes down in a heap as Emily checks over her man. SYSFI is slow to his feet but immediately dropped to the concrete floor with a running Mafia kick from Redman! Emily looks on in approval as Redman slides back into the ring to take a breather. SYSFI slowly pulls himself back to a vertical base before trying to slide back into the ring, only to meet a baseball slide from Redman which sends the big man back crashing to the concrete floor.
Daniels: Some help from that jezebel and Redman is right back in this thing!
Al: Jezebel? Emily is a fine upstanding citizen Daniels! You better watch what you are saying!
Redman again waits for SYSFI to slide back into the ring before stomping on his back. Redman stomps away on the neck and head of SYSFI, setting him up for his two primary finishers. Redman lifts up SYSFI and connects with a right hand that sends the big man stumbling back into the corner. Redman takes a step back before charging, driving his shoulder into the abdomen of SYSFI. SYSFI crumbles to the canvas as Redman plots his next offensive attack. Redman uses the ropes to spring up and drive a knee into the chest of SYSFI, trying to take the air out of the big man. Redman does this several more times before the official gives him a warning. The Empire Saint picks up his opponent and measures him with not one, not two, but three stiff right hands. SYSFI wobbles but does not go down. Redman follows up again with some more right hands but they don?t seem to faze SYSFI! After a few more shots from Redman, SYSFI is now ASKING for Redman to hit him!
Al: Redman is completely confused out there! I don?t think anyone in their right mind would ask for a right hand from Nate Redman!
Redman gives SYSFI what he wants but SYSFI just bounces back with a series of right hands of his own that stun the Empire Saint. SYSFI fires Redman off of the ropes and goes for a body slam but the Empire Saint floats over and connects with a Halo DDT! SYSFI screams out in pain as Redman goes for the lateral press.
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
SYSFI kicks out and immediately sits up! Redman cannot believe it as he hustles to his feet. He and SYSFI meet in the center of the ring and begin to exchange right hands with SYSFI taking the advantage, dropping Redman with a big right. Redman pulls himself up into the corner but is immediately met with a running clothesline from SYSFI. SYSFI follows up with an Irish whip into the corner before charging in, only to catch a back elbow from Redman. Redman climbs up onto the middle turnbuckle as SYSFI stumbles back into the center of the ring. SYSFI turns around as Redman leaps off of the middle rope, only to be caught by the throat! SYSFI lifts Redman up and connects with a chokeslam! SYSFI goes for the cover!
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
Redman kicks out before the count of three. Emily looks down right frightened from what she is seeing in the ring as SYSFI picks up Redman and drops him with the snake eyes on the top turnbuckle. Redman stumbles out of the corner and is immediately leveled with a short arm clothesline from SYSFI. SYSFI goes for the lateral press!
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
Redman kicks out again. SYSFI sends Redman off of the ropes and looks for a back body drop but Redman anticipates and drills SYSFI with a boot to the face. SYSFI staggers back as Redman runs off of the ropes, but is immediately caught with a ? neckbreaker! SYSFI goes for the cover!
One?
Two?
THRE, NO!!!
Redman just gets the shoulder up before the count of three. SYSFI looks up to the top rope before walking over to the opposite corner and heading up. Emily looks very concerned as she screams for Redman to get up. Redman does as SYSFI leaps off of the top rope but Redman catches SYSFI in mid stream before slamming him to the canvas with a spine buster! Both men are down and hurt in the center of the ring as the referee begins his mandatory count. Both men struggle to their feet and Redman looks for a spear, but is met with a big boot from SYSFI! SYSFI signals for the end of the match as he waits for Redman to get up. Redman does and SYSFI catches him with a boot to the stomach before setting him up for the Chronic Injury. Suddenly Emily rolls into the ring armed with a steel chair! SYSFI drops Redman and turns his attention to Emily who is surprisingly standing her ground. SYSFI takes a step toward her and she swings the chair, but SYSFI catches it! SYSFI rips the steel chair away from her before grabbing her by the throat! SYSFI chokes her to the canvas before picking up the steel chair. SYSFI opens up the steel chair and places it around the neck of Emily!
Al: Oh God no! Don?t do it!
SYSFI takes a step back but walks right into the grips of Nate Redman and a guillotine choke! SYSFI?s arms swing wildly to break free but he does not appear to be able to do so. Redman wraps his legs around the body of SYSFI trying to bring the big man down to the canvas. Suddenly in a last ditch effort SYSFI falls backward, slamming Redman into the turnbuckles! Redman releases the hold and stumbles out of the corner before being taken down with a face buster! SYSFI picks up Redman and goes for the Poor Man?s Death but Redman floats over and connects with a modified version of the Deal Breaker!
Daniels: Holy Shit! That was out of nowhere!
SYSFI is out cold in the center of the ring as Redman goes for the cover.
One?
Two?
THREE!!!
Redman advances in the Road for the Championship!!!
Winner via pinfall: ?The Empire Saint? Nate Redman
**The scene opens with James Orich getting ready to make an interview. To address the things that Bob Lancelot said about him and his girlfriend. Next to James, is Emily. She is dressed in a nice, silk, black dress, and her hair tied up in a bun. James is wearing his usual short sleeve dress shirt with red tie, black jeans, and messy, dreaded hair. There?s a man in the corner messing with a camera**
James: "So you excited about tonight?"
Emily: "Of course! And now I'm comfortable knowing that you're not going to bet me on a stupid match."
James: "I wouldn't do that. He treats Claire like a cheap whore, willing to trade her for a loss."
**The door opens up, and a man in a suit and tie walks in. He has grey slicked back hair, and looks to be about 45. The man is carrying a box which has a piece of paper on top.**
The Man: "Uh.. Package for James Orich?"
**James looks at Emily, than back at the guy. He walks over and signs the piece of paper, thinking its just delivery conformation. The man smiles**
The Man: "Thank you sir. And good luck tonight."
**James nods and the man leaves the room. Emily joins James by his side as he opens the package. When it gets opened, it?s the box that Bob Lancelot and Claire were holding in their attack on James and Emily. They both start laughing.**
Emily: "Throw that stuff away, its ridiculous!"
**James picks up a big, floppy dildo, still laughing**
James: "Come on! We could use this! This stuff is expensive!"
**They laugh for a few more seconds, than James puts the box away**
James: "So.. uhm. Your parents.. are they.. ?"
Emily: "No, not really. They're surprisingly relaxed about it. They wished I had waited a few months until I knew you more.. but it?s fine. They're really cool about it."
Camera Man: "Excuse me, Mr. Orich. We're ready for you."
**James nods at the camera man, than kisses Emily on the cheek**
James: "You have fun tonight, okay? And don't worry. You'll be fine. Tell Bryan I said hi."
**Emily smiles and leaves the room, waving bye as she leaves. The camera man directs James where to stand. This is his first professional statement.**
James: "Hey Lancelot! You've got some balls, man. I respect that. I mean, going on live TV and trying to bring me down, than making that match stipulation. But, think about it. Why would I ever agree to it? I mean, it makes no sense. I?m not the kind of guy who would put his girl on the line. I?m not the kind of guy who would cheat on his girl even if he won. That stipulation has nothing for me, so no. I will not be doing it. And on another note, I decided. Maybe I was being too nice. I did a little research and found these pictures. *He looks down at a picture that he pulls out of his pocket, but it?s not visible.* I could be a real dick in this business. But I?m not, so don't worry about it. But lets just say, I got a picture here of your Claire standing on a balcony, giving a show. *He puts it back in his pocket* So. My third singles match, none with a win. I?m looking to change that tonight. Because tonight.. Lancelot. You're going down."
**James smiles and the camera fades. When it?s off, someone rushes into the door, yelling for James to turn on the TV. When James does, it?s the delivery guy from earlier, standing next to a publicist.**
Publicist: "Okay, you sure he?s watching? Good. James. Mr. Orich. Quite a fun.. thing you had there. But the truth of the matter is you agreed to the stipulation!"
**James looks at the camera, his mouth moving in the shapes of swearwords.**
Publicist: "This piece of paper. *He holds up the delivery conformation that James signed* This was an agreement to the stipulation. This man next to me is a lawyer. He saw you sign it. Legally binding. Thank you for your time, Mr. Orich."
**The camera looking at James is quickly turned on to catch Orich's reaction. His face is white, and he looks afraid. In a split second, James takes the photo out of his pocket and puts it up to the camera. There, in the picture, is Claire. She is wearing an open robe and underwear. That?s it. The camera fades back out, once the man realizes James isn't about to speak, and isn't going to move the picture.**
#3
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- Fed Staff
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- 936 posts
- Local time: 01:24 AM
That's How We Roll
Posted 18 April 2006 - 09:09 PM
?Just in Time? by The Brass River Band hits the PA loud and The Trumpet Player strides out, holding ?The White Dove?. The Trumpet Player then strolls down the ramp at a slow, leisured pace, casually chatting with the fans as he goes by. He then slides in the ring, and hands the referee ?The White Dove? to keep his prized trumpet safe in his match, before he faces the crowd and continues to chat lightly.
'Live for the Moment' by Monster Magnet hits and Jeff Jefferson comes out and runs down to the ring. He jumps on all four turnbuckles and poses on them. He then stares at his opponent.
They lock up, with Vodoa getting a headlock. Jefferson pushes Ian off the ropes, and knocks him down with a shoulder block. Jeff bounces off the ropes, and runs at Ian, but Vodoa nips up, and takes Jefferson with an arm drag. Vodoa then bounces off the ropes, but Jefferson nips up, and hit?s a dropkick on the challenger. He gets an early cover, 1...2...Kick Out.
Jefferson then bounces off the ropes again, but Vodoa meets him with a farewell, grounding Jefferson. Vodoa then drops a leg, and gets a cover, 1...2...Kick Out from Jefferson. Vodoa goes for a chin lock, but Jefferson kicks him away, then goes for a kick, but Vodoa grabs the leg, which is countered by Jefferson, who strikes the Vodoa with an enziguri, and a cover, 1...2...Kick Out!!!
He then picks Vodoa up, and whips him off the ropes, but Vodoa ducks as he comes back, then takes down Jefferson with a beautiful spinning heel kick. Vodoa then poses to the crowd, getting a lot of heat. He drags Jefferson to his feet, and whips him off the ropes, and goes for a tilt a whirl, but Jefferson counters and hits a head scissors on Vodoa!! Vodoa staggers around the ring, and Jefferson gets a victory roll, 1...2...Kick Out!!!
Both men jump up, and bounce off the ropes, with Jefferson first ducking a clothesline, then Vodoa leapfrogging a leg sweep, then Vodoa hit?s a swinging neck breaker, taking Jefferson down.
Vodoa sits Jefferson up, then bounces off the ropes, and hit?s a basement dropkick to the back. Vodoa hooks the leg again, 1...2...Kick Out!!! Vodoa then applies a headlock, but almost immediately Jefferson starts to fight to his feet, and elbows free of the hold. Jefferson bounces off the ropes, then takes Vodoa by surprise, saulting over him, and goes for a Sunset Flip. Vodoa tries to fight it, and shakes his arms wildly but Jefferson gets him over, 1...2...Kick Out!!!
Ian Vodoa then runs at Jefferson, but Jefferson again leaps over him, then connects with a dropsault. Jefferson then looks to end it early, going up top, looking for the Shooting Star Press, but as he gets up top, but Ian leaps to the top rope, and he pounds on Jefferson, but Jefferson fights back, and pushes Ian off the top, before setting himself up, and connecting with the Shooting Star Press!!!!!
Paul London covers for the sure win?
ONE?.
TWO?.
IAN VODOA KICKS OUT!!!!!
Jefferson climbs to the top again, but Vodoa then jumps up, and kicks the ropes, and Jefferson straddles himself. Vodoa then gets to the top rope, and hit?s a beautiful Superplex on Jefferson!!! The crowd gives a good reaction to the move, and Vodoa takes charge, getting a cover on Jefferson, 1...2...Kick Out!!! Vodoa can?t believe it!!! He then drags Jefferson up, and whips Jefferson into the turnbuckle, chest first, then follows up with a leg lariat to the back. Jefferson looks to be in trouble, and Vodoa then gets a crucifix pin on Jefferson, 1...2...Kick Out again!!!
Vodoa appears to have the momentum at this point, and he drags Jefferson up again, and sets him up on the top rope. Vodoa then gets up top himself, and goes for the Zuit Suit Riot Control, but Jefferson fights it, and pushes Vodoa off the top, with Vodoa landing against the barricade. Jefferson takes a moment to recover, and then stands on the top rope, and hit?s a moonsault onto Vodoa, who is standing below. The crowd is getting more into the match, as the two men put their lives at stake in this match.
The referee reaches the count of 6, before Jefferson manages to get up, and break it. He rolls out again, and goes for another Hurricanrana on Vodoa, but Vodoa counters, and rams Jefferson into the ring post, then power bombs him onto the mats on the outside, which is met with a sickening groan from the fans.
Vodoa rolls Jefferson back into the ring, and gets a cover?
ONE?.
TWO?.
JEFFERSON KICKS OUT!!!!!
Vodoa keeps the pressure on, and hit?s a leg drop, 1...2...Kick Out!!! Vodoa then drags Jefferson to the corner, then runs at him for an elbow, but Jefferson moves out of the way, and Vodoa hit?s the turnbuckle. Jefferson then connects with a tornado DDT, and gets another cover,
ONE?.
TWO?.
IAN GETS A LEG ON THE ROPE!!!!!
Jefferson runs his fingers through his hair in amazement. He then knocks Vodoa down again with a short clothesline, before going to the top rope again, but again, the challenger doesn?t give Jefferson a chance up top, and meets him there. The two competitors struggle up top, but Vodoa rakes the eyes to get control. He then sets Jefferson up, and NAILS THE ZUIT SUIT RIOT CONTROL!!!!!
Vodoa with the cover,
ONE?..
TWO?..
THREE!!!
Winner via pinfall: Ian Vodoa
'Live for the Moment' by Monster Magnet hits and Jeff Jefferson comes out and runs down to the ring. He jumps on all four turnbuckles and poses on them. He then stares at his opponent.
They lock up, with Vodoa getting a headlock. Jefferson pushes Ian off the ropes, and knocks him down with a shoulder block. Jeff bounces off the ropes, and runs at Ian, but Vodoa nips up, and takes Jefferson with an arm drag. Vodoa then bounces off the ropes, but Jefferson nips up, and hit?s a dropkick on the challenger. He gets an early cover, 1...2...Kick Out.
Jefferson then bounces off the ropes again, but Vodoa meets him with a farewell, grounding Jefferson. Vodoa then drops a leg, and gets a cover, 1...2...Kick Out from Jefferson. Vodoa goes for a chin lock, but Jefferson kicks him away, then goes for a kick, but Vodoa grabs the leg, which is countered by Jefferson, who strikes the Vodoa with an enziguri, and a cover, 1...2...Kick Out!!!
He then picks Vodoa up, and whips him off the ropes, but Vodoa ducks as he comes back, then takes down Jefferson with a beautiful spinning heel kick. Vodoa then poses to the crowd, getting a lot of heat. He drags Jefferson to his feet, and whips him off the ropes, and goes for a tilt a whirl, but Jefferson counters and hits a head scissors on Vodoa!! Vodoa staggers around the ring, and Jefferson gets a victory roll, 1...2...Kick Out!!!
Both men jump up, and bounce off the ropes, with Jefferson first ducking a clothesline, then Vodoa leapfrogging a leg sweep, then Vodoa hit?s a swinging neck breaker, taking Jefferson down.
Vodoa sits Jefferson up, then bounces off the ropes, and hit?s a basement dropkick to the back. Vodoa hooks the leg again, 1...2...Kick Out!!! Vodoa then applies a headlock, but almost immediately Jefferson starts to fight to his feet, and elbows free of the hold. Jefferson bounces off the ropes, then takes Vodoa by surprise, saulting over him, and goes for a Sunset Flip. Vodoa tries to fight it, and shakes his arms wildly but Jefferson gets him over, 1...2...Kick Out!!!
Ian Vodoa then runs at Jefferson, but Jefferson again leaps over him, then connects with a dropsault. Jefferson then looks to end it early, going up top, looking for the Shooting Star Press, but as he gets up top, but Ian leaps to the top rope, and he pounds on Jefferson, but Jefferson fights back, and pushes Ian off the top, before setting himself up, and connecting with the Shooting Star Press!!!!!
Paul London covers for the sure win?
ONE?.
TWO?.
IAN VODOA KICKS OUT!!!!!
Jefferson climbs to the top again, but Vodoa then jumps up, and kicks the ropes, and Jefferson straddles himself. Vodoa then gets to the top rope, and hit?s a beautiful Superplex on Jefferson!!! The crowd gives a good reaction to the move, and Vodoa takes charge, getting a cover on Jefferson, 1...2...Kick Out!!! Vodoa can?t believe it!!! He then drags Jefferson up, and whips Jefferson into the turnbuckle, chest first, then follows up with a leg lariat to the back. Jefferson looks to be in trouble, and Vodoa then gets a crucifix pin on Jefferson, 1...2...Kick Out again!!!
Vodoa appears to have the momentum at this point, and he drags Jefferson up again, and sets him up on the top rope. Vodoa then gets up top himself, and goes for the Zuit Suit Riot Control, but Jefferson fights it, and pushes Vodoa off the top, with Vodoa landing against the barricade. Jefferson takes a moment to recover, and then stands on the top rope, and hit?s a moonsault onto Vodoa, who is standing below. The crowd is getting more into the match, as the two men put their lives at stake in this match.
The referee reaches the count of 6, before Jefferson manages to get up, and break it. He rolls out again, and goes for another Hurricanrana on Vodoa, but Vodoa counters, and rams Jefferson into the ring post, then power bombs him onto the mats on the outside, which is met with a sickening groan from the fans.
Vodoa rolls Jefferson back into the ring, and gets a cover?
ONE?.
TWO?.
JEFFERSON KICKS OUT!!!!!
Vodoa keeps the pressure on, and hit?s a leg drop, 1...2...Kick Out!!! Vodoa then drags Jefferson to the corner, then runs at him for an elbow, but Jefferson moves out of the way, and Vodoa hit?s the turnbuckle. Jefferson then connects with a tornado DDT, and gets another cover,
ONE?.
TWO?.
IAN GETS A LEG ON THE ROPE!!!!!
Jefferson runs his fingers through his hair in amazement. He then knocks Vodoa down again with a short clothesline, before going to the top rope again, but again, the challenger doesn?t give Jefferson a chance up top, and meets him there. The two competitors struggle up top, but Vodoa rakes the eyes to get control. He then sets Jefferson up, and NAILS THE ZUIT SUIT RIOT CONTROL!!!!!
Vodoa with the cover,
ONE?..
TWO?..
THREE!!!
Winner via pinfall: Ian Vodoa
#4
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- Fed Staff
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- 936 posts
- Local time: 01:24 AM
That's How We Roll
Posted 18 April 2006 - 09:10 PM
Daniels: Time for the Main Event - Bob Lancelot versus James Orich with the special stipulation that the winner spends the night with the loser?s girlfriend, and I have heard that we are also being joined on commentary by a special guest, Schnitzel.
Al: Oh great.
"Aerodynamic" by Daft Punk hits the arena and Schnitzel walks down to the announce table, puts on a headset and then takes a seat next to Al.
Schnitzel: Helloooo.
Daniels: Hi.
Al: Can you move your seat across a bit, your breath smells.
Schnitzel: Maybe it is your breath that smells.
Al: Yes..
Daniels: So why are you out here Schnitzel?
Schnitzel: I just want to announce my dear friend Bob's match, is that so wrong??
Richard Head: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 194lbs from Los Angeles, Ca - James Orich!!
"Sleep Now In The Fire" by Rage Against The Machine plays across the arena as Orich comes right out, energetic and jumping around. He moves to one side of the stage to raise his arms, still jumping, than moves to the other side, trying to get the crowd excited. He moves down the aisle way, halting most of his jumping, but still taunting alot, Orich stops and picks up a mic and starts to speak.
Orich: And now, my girlfriend - Emily Fisk!
Orich looks towards the top of the ramp waiting for Emily when Bob Lancelot and Claire Matthews appear on the big screen.
Bob: Hey James, you are expecting Emily right - well if you want her, you will have to come and get her!
The camera pans left to show a gagged Emily handcuffed to a steel chair.
Al: Lancelot and Claire have kidnapped Emily!
Orich looks angry as he runs back up the ramp and through the curtain.
Schnitzel: Bob always has more brains than his opponent.
Orich walks to the locker room area and begins to shout for Lancelot. Orich walks past several locker rooms until he reaches Bob's and begins to knock on the door whilst yelling for Bob to come out. The door opens and Claire is on the other side, Orich bursts in, shoving past Claire and runs to Emily and tries to uncuff her but Bob runs up behind him with a steel chair and slams it across the back of his head!
Daniels: Bob with a brutal chair shot!
Lancelot picks Orich up and drags him across the locker room, throwing him into the wall and then hitting him with several lefts and rights before slamming him back against the wall. Bob starts to trash talk Orich.
Lancelot: You pathetic piece of shit - you think you can beat me, huh??
Bob once again bounces James' head against the wall and then drags him by the head towards Emily.
Lancelot: Do it Claire.
Bob holds Orich in front of Emily so he can see her as Claire slaps Emily hard across the face and then reaches into a bag and pulls out an electric hair razor and switches it on.
Daniels: Claire is going to shave Emily bald!
Al: Nooo!
Schnitzel: Ooo I dig bald chicks.
Al: Freak.
Schnitzel: I know.
Claire slaps Emily once again and then stands behind her and starts to slowly bring the razor down to Emily's head but Orich reacts quickly and lifts his leg back, low blowing Bob and then leaps over the chair and knocks Claire backwards on her ass.
Al: Few.
Orich and Claire scramble towards the razor but Orich gets there first and he picks it up and turns it towards Claire, who, with horror in her eyes, starts to back up as Orich advances on her with the razor.
Schnitzel: Claire needs a haircut!
Orich edges in closer to Claire who is now backed up against the wall, begging James not to shave her hair but he doesn't listen and turns on the razor, Claire squirms and then lifts her top up flashing her breasts at James who stares at them mesmerized.
Al: Yeah that?s the stuff!
Schnitzel: Claire is a pathetic whore.
Al: Shut up, she is a babe.
Whilst Orich is looking at Claire's breasts Bob starts to get to his feet and he dives at Orich, but Orich ducks and Bob falls into a pile of chests and boxes, Orich then gets on top of Bob with the razor and shaves a big bald line down the middle of Bob's hair!
Al: Bob is going bald!
Schnitzel: Eepp! I don't dig bald guys.
Al: I don't dig any guys - weirdo.
James starts to laugh at Bob as he steps back and looks at his haircutting masterpiece. Bob stands up and then feels the hair missing his head! Bob looks angry and then gores Orich into the showers and starts pounding on him and slamming his head into the stone wall of the shower, Bob then grabs the shower hose and strangles Orich with it and then turns the boiling hot water on and squirts it over Orich who yells in pain as the boiling water squirts all over his face!
Schnitzel: Its about time Orich got a shower, last time I wrestled him he had terrible B.O.
Al: You have terrible B.O. Do you even take showers?
Schnitzel: No, I don't have time to bathe.
Daniels: Eww. You are starting to creep me out now.
Orich grabs his eyes in pain and then starts to swing blindly at Bob, hitting him with a powerful right hook, Bob drops the shower hose on the floor and the water starts to squirt all over Claire who yells for Bob to turn it off, but then runs out of the way and turns it off herself.
Al: Claire is all wet.
Schnitzel: So am I.
Daniels: Now I am really creeped out.....
A soggy Orich charges at Bob and pushes him backwards into the TV monitor knocking it over, Orich then slams Bob into the door - the wood splintering with the force, Bob bounces back off the door and Orich again slams Bob back into the door, this time the door smashes and Bob falls through it. Orich steps through the door and continues to work on Bob who frantically tries to crawl away. A dripping wet Claire also follows the action into the corridor whilst Emily is still chained to the chair in the locker room. Orich catches up to Bob and kicks him in the back of the head and then walks over to a pile of metal piping and grabs a ten inch long pipe.
Al: Orich has a ten incher pipe!
Schnitzel: So do I.
Al: Will you just shut the fuck up!!
Schnitzel: Will you just shut the fuck up!!
Al: Shut up!!
Schnitzel: Shut up!!
Al: God I?m out of here!
Schnitzel: God I?m out of here!
Al: Dude you're fucked up, see ya.
Schnitzel: Toodles.
*Al leaves the announce table*
Orich stalks Bob with the pipe but Claire runs in front of Orich just as he is about to slam the pipe down on the back of Bob's head, Orich stops and tells Claire to move out of the way but she won't. Orich again tells her to move but again she wont, so this time he shoves her out of the way and then brings the pipe down at Bob, but Bob blocks it with a pipe of his own which he picked up whilst Claire was distracting Orich.
Bob rolls backwards as Orich slams the pipe down again and then he blocks Orich's third attempt to hit him with the pipe again, Bob then swings his pipe at Orich, but Orich blocks it with his pipe Bob then gets to his feet and swings the pipe at Orich but Orich ducks and swings his pipe at Bob's knee caps, they buckle and Bob falls forward onto the concrete.
Daniels: Orich just knee capped Bob!
Orich gets on top of Bob and starts to choke him with the steel pipe as Claire begs him to release Bob but Orich won't.
Schnitzel: Bob is turning blue like the blue meanie!
Bob starts to gasp for air and Claire starts to frantically panic and then she pulls the key to Emily's handcuffs out of her trousers and dangles it in front of Orich, who drops the pipe and walks towards Claire but as he gets closer to her she puts the key back in her trousers and then starts to laugh at Orich who shrugs his shoulders and then grabs Claire by the legs and flips her over into a Boston Crab, Claire screams in pain as Orich starts to remove her trousers to get the key, which he does, he then releases Claire and takes the trousers and the key back into the locker room and unlocks Emily. The two hug and kiss but are broken up by Bob who runs back into the locker room and hits Orich with the steel pipe, bending it in half and bloodying Orich, Bob then drags him out of the locker room by the legs and down towards the ring as Claire puts her trousers back on and then follows, Bob lifts Orich into the ring under the bottom rope and then covers him as a referee runs down from the back.
1..........
2................
Orich kicks out!
Schnitzel: Orich kicks out!
Bob looks shocked and then picks Orich up and hits him with The Crashing Crippler and covers him again
1........
2..............
Orich gets his foot on the rope!
Schnitzel: Orich is like a super human....I had better go and help Bob, I'll be needing this.
Daniels: Hey that?s my laptop!
Schnitzel stands up and grabs Daniels' laptop computer and then removes his headset and then runs down to the ring as Claire hops up onto the ring apron and distracts the ref as Bob rolls out of the ring and starts to search underneath it for a weapon he can use to finish off Orich , both Claire and Bob are unaware of Schnitzel. Schnitzel rolls into the ring and swings the computer at the ref but the ref moves out of the way and Schnitzel clocks Claire over the head with the laptop and she falls off the ring apron onto the concrete! The referee rolls to the outside to check on Claire.
Daniels: Schnitzel just accidentally hit Claire with my $2000 laptop computer, how is that helping Bob!?
Bob gets back into the ring with a baseball bat and he sees Schnitzel, who drops the computer on the floor and hightails it out of the ring, Orich starts to rouse himself and gets to his feet as Bob swings the baseball bat but Orich ducks Orich then grabs Bob and send him in to the corner with an irish whip Bob hits the turnbuckle and stumble backwards. James bounces off the top ropes, connecting with a poetry in motion style high-leg clothesline on Lancelot! Orich then drops on top of Bob and covers him.
Daniels: The Running Flyer! The Running Flyer!! 1....2.....3 - where the hell is the referee!!
The ref is still on the outside helping Claire, Orich looks around and then yells for the ref to count.
1.....
2.......
Bob kicks out!
Daniels: Orich had this match won!
Claire is now recovered and she hops up onto the apron and gets into the ring, stalking Orich for a low blow whilst the ref removes the weapons from the ring. Emily runs down from the back and into the ring, she spears Claire to the ground and starts to cat fight with her!
Daniels: Cat fight!! If only Al was here.
The ref tries to break up the cat fight but gets involved in it himself! Orich tries to pull Emily and Claire apart but pulls Claire's shirt off by mistake! Claire stops fighting Emily and tries to cover herself up but Emily clotheslines Claire over the top rope and then leaps over it with a cross body on Claire and then continues to cat fight on the outside!
Daniels: Looks like Orich has been teaching Emily some of his moves!
The ref rolls to the outside and again tries to break up the cat fight.
Daniels: Something tells me that the ref is only interested in the girls....
Orich shrugs his shoulders and walks over to Bob who still appears to be knocked out, but Bob was playing possum and hits Orich with a low blow and then leaps on top of him with the fork! Bob stabs away at Orich's forehead, ripping the flesh from his skull! Bob then stands up off Orich and stalks him for The Swinging Bells! Orich slowly gets to his feet and then Lancelot hits him with The Swinging Bells and covers him, the referee notices and rolls into the ring.
1.........
2...........
3..................
Daniels: Lancelot stole it! That bastard! With a mixture of luck, bad officiating and interference Bob stole the match! Dammit!
Lancelot looks up and starts to celebrate.
Richard Head: The winner of the match, and winner of Emily Fisk for one night only - Bob Lancelot.
Realizing Bob won, Emily looks at the ring with horror on her face, Bob then rolls to the outside and grabs Emily and lifts her up over his shoulders and carries her to the back with Claire in tow as Orich starts to stir and re-compose himself in the ring, Bob gets to the top of the ramp and then grabs a mic.
Bob: Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, Paris Hilton, Chyna and Sean Waltman, Britney Spear and Kevin Federline......Bob Lancelot, Claire Matthews and Emily Fisk???
Bob starts to laugh as Claire makes the universal charades sign for movie with her hands as they walk to the back and Orich looks on in disbelief.
Daniels: I can only imagine what those two are going to do with Emily tonight, and let me tell you something - it won't be pretty.
Al: Oh great.
"Aerodynamic" by Daft Punk hits the arena and Schnitzel walks down to the announce table, puts on a headset and then takes a seat next to Al.
Schnitzel: Helloooo.
Daniels: Hi.
Al: Can you move your seat across a bit, your breath smells.
Schnitzel: Maybe it is your breath that smells.
Al: Yes..
Daniels: So why are you out here Schnitzel?
Schnitzel: I just want to announce my dear friend Bob's match, is that so wrong??
Richard Head: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 194lbs from Los Angeles, Ca - James Orich!!
"Sleep Now In The Fire" by Rage Against The Machine plays across the arena as Orich comes right out, energetic and jumping around. He moves to one side of the stage to raise his arms, still jumping, than moves to the other side, trying to get the crowd excited. He moves down the aisle way, halting most of his jumping, but still taunting alot, Orich stops and picks up a mic and starts to speak.
Orich: And now, my girlfriend - Emily Fisk!
Orich looks towards the top of the ramp waiting for Emily when Bob Lancelot and Claire Matthews appear on the big screen.
Bob: Hey James, you are expecting Emily right - well if you want her, you will have to come and get her!
The camera pans left to show a gagged Emily handcuffed to a steel chair.
Al: Lancelot and Claire have kidnapped Emily!
Orich looks angry as he runs back up the ramp and through the curtain.
Schnitzel: Bob always has more brains than his opponent.
Orich walks to the locker room area and begins to shout for Lancelot. Orich walks past several locker rooms until he reaches Bob's and begins to knock on the door whilst yelling for Bob to come out. The door opens and Claire is on the other side, Orich bursts in, shoving past Claire and runs to Emily and tries to uncuff her but Bob runs up behind him with a steel chair and slams it across the back of his head!
Daniels: Bob with a brutal chair shot!
Lancelot picks Orich up and drags him across the locker room, throwing him into the wall and then hitting him with several lefts and rights before slamming him back against the wall. Bob starts to trash talk Orich.
Lancelot: You pathetic piece of shit - you think you can beat me, huh??
Bob once again bounces James' head against the wall and then drags him by the head towards Emily.
Lancelot: Do it Claire.
Bob holds Orich in front of Emily so he can see her as Claire slaps Emily hard across the face and then reaches into a bag and pulls out an electric hair razor and switches it on.
Daniels: Claire is going to shave Emily bald!
Al: Nooo!
Schnitzel: Ooo I dig bald chicks.
Al: Freak.
Schnitzel: I know.
Claire slaps Emily once again and then stands behind her and starts to slowly bring the razor down to Emily's head but Orich reacts quickly and lifts his leg back, low blowing Bob and then leaps over the chair and knocks Claire backwards on her ass.
Al: Few.
Orich and Claire scramble towards the razor but Orich gets there first and he picks it up and turns it towards Claire, who, with horror in her eyes, starts to back up as Orich advances on her with the razor.
Schnitzel: Claire needs a haircut!
Orich edges in closer to Claire who is now backed up against the wall, begging James not to shave her hair but he doesn't listen and turns on the razor, Claire squirms and then lifts her top up flashing her breasts at James who stares at them mesmerized.
Al: Yeah that?s the stuff!
Schnitzel: Claire is a pathetic whore.
Al: Shut up, she is a babe.
Whilst Orich is looking at Claire's breasts Bob starts to get to his feet and he dives at Orich, but Orich ducks and Bob falls into a pile of chests and boxes, Orich then gets on top of Bob with the razor and shaves a big bald line down the middle of Bob's hair!
Al: Bob is going bald!
Schnitzel: Eepp! I don't dig bald guys.
Al: I don't dig any guys - weirdo.
James starts to laugh at Bob as he steps back and looks at his haircutting masterpiece. Bob stands up and then feels the hair missing his head! Bob looks angry and then gores Orich into the showers and starts pounding on him and slamming his head into the stone wall of the shower, Bob then grabs the shower hose and strangles Orich with it and then turns the boiling hot water on and squirts it over Orich who yells in pain as the boiling water squirts all over his face!
Schnitzel: Its about time Orich got a shower, last time I wrestled him he had terrible B.O.
Al: You have terrible B.O. Do you even take showers?
Schnitzel: No, I don't have time to bathe.
Daniels: Eww. You are starting to creep me out now.
Orich grabs his eyes in pain and then starts to swing blindly at Bob, hitting him with a powerful right hook, Bob drops the shower hose on the floor and the water starts to squirt all over Claire who yells for Bob to turn it off, but then runs out of the way and turns it off herself.
Al: Claire is all wet.
Schnitzel: So am I.
Daniels: Now I am really creeped out.....
A soggy Orich charges at Bob and pushes him backwards into the TV monitor knocking it over, Orich then slams Bob into the door - the wood splintering with the force, Bob bounces back off the door and Orich again slams Bob back into the door, this time the door smashes and Bob falls through it. Orich steps through the door and continues to work on Bob who frantically tries to crawl away. A dripping wet Claire also follows the action into the corridor whilst Emily is still chained to the chair in the locker room. Orich catches up to Bob and kicks him in the back of the head and then walks over to a pile of metal piping and grabs a ten inch long pipe.
Al: Orich has a ten incher pipe!
Schnitzel: So do I.
Al: Will you just shut the fuck up!!
Schnitzel: Will you just shut the fuck up!!
Al: Shut up!!
Schnitzel: Shut up!!
Al: God I?m out of here!
Schnitzel: God I?m out of here!
Al: Dude you're fucked up, see ya.
Schnitzel: Toodles.
*Al leaves the announce table*
Orich stalks Bob with the pipe but Claire runs in front of Orich just as he is about to slam the pipe down on the back of Bob's head, Orich stops and tells Claire to move out of the way but she won't. Orich again tells her to move but again she wont, so this time he shoves her out of the way and then brings the pipe down at Bob, but Bob blocks it with a pipe of his own which he picked up whilst Claire was distracting Orich.
Bob rolls backwards as Orich slams the pipe down again and then he blocks Orich's third attempt to hit him with the pipe again, Bob then swings his pipe at Orich, but Orich blocks it with his pipe Bob then gets to his feet and swings the pipe at Orich but Orich ducks and swings his pipe at Bob's knee caps, they buckle and Bob falls forward onto the concrete.
Daniels: Orich just knee capped Bob!
Orich gets on top of Bob and starts to choke him with the steel pipe as Claire begs him to release Bob but Orich won't.
Schnitzel: Bob is turning blue like the blue meanie!
Bob starts to gasp for air and Claire starts to frantically panic and then she pulls the key to Emily's handcuffs out of her trousers and dangles it in front of Orich, who drops the pipe and walks towards Claire but as he gets closer to her she puts the key back in her trousers and then starts to laugh at Orich who shrugs his shoulders and then grabs Claire by the legs and flips her over into a Boston Crab, Claire screams in pain as Orich starts to remove her trousers to get the key, which he does, he then releases Claire and takes the trousers and the key back into the locker room and unlocks Emily. The two hug and kiss but are broken up by Bob who runs back into the locker room and hits Orich with the steel pipe, bending it in half and bloodying Orich, Bob then drags him out of the locker room by the legs and down towards the ring as Claire puts her trousers back on and then follows, Bob lifts Orich into the ring under the bottom rope and then covers him as a referee runs down from the back.
1..........
2................
Orich kicks out!
Schnitzel: Orich kicks out!
Bob looks shocked and then picks Orich up and hits him with The Crashing Crippler and covers him again
1........
2..............
Orich gets his foot on the rope!
Schnitzel: Orich is like a super human....I had better go and help Bob, I'll be needing this.
Daniels: Hey that?s my laptop!
Schnitzel stands up and grabs Daniels' laptop computer and then removes his headset and then runs down to the ring as Claire hops up onto the ring apron and distracts the ref as Bob rolls out of the ring and starts to search underneath it for a weapon he can use to finish off Orich , both Claire and Bob are unaware of Schnitzel. Schnitzel rolls into the ring and swings the computer at the ref but the ref moves out of the way and Schnitzel clocks Claire over the head with the laptop and she falls off the ring apron onto the concrete! The referee rolls to the outside to check on Claire.
Daniels: Schnitzel just accidentally hit Claire with my $2000 laptop computer, how is that helping Bob!?
Bob gets back into the ring with a baseball bat and he sees Schnitzel, who drops the computer on the floor and hightails it out of the ring, Orich starts to rouse himself and gets to his feet as Bob swings the baseball bat but Orich ducks Orich then grabs Bob and send him in to the corner with an irish whip Bob hits the turnbuckle and stumble backwards. James bounces off the top ropes, connecting with a poetry in motion style high-leg clothesline on Lancelot! Orich then drops on top of Bob and covers him.
Daniels: The Running Flyer! The Running Flyer!! 1....2.....3 - where the hell is the referee!!
The ref is still on the outside helping Claire, Orich looks around and then yells for the ref to count.
1.....
2.......
Bob kicks out!
Daniels: Orich had this match won!
Claire is now recovered and she hops up onto the apron and gets into the ring, stalking Orich for a low blow whilst the ref removes the weapons from the ring. Emily runs down from the back and into the ring, she spears Claire to the ground and starts to cat fight with her!
Daniels: Cat fight!! If only Al was here.
The ref tries to break up the cat fight but gets involved in it himself! Orich tries to pull Emily and Claire apart but pulls Claire's shirt off by mistake! Claire stops fighting Emily and tries to cover herself up but Emily clotheslines Claire over the top rope and then leaps over it with a cross body on Claire and then continues to cat fight on the outside!
Daniels: Looks like Orich has been teaching Emily some of his moves!
The ref rolls to the outside and again tries to break up the cat fight.
Daniels: Something tells me that the ref is only interested in the girls....
Orich shrugs his shoulders and walks over to Bob who still appears to be knocked out, but Bob was playing possum and hits Orich with a low blow and then leaps on top of him with the fork! Bob stabs away at Orich's forehead, ripping the flesh from his skull! Bob then stands up off Orich and stalks him for The Swinging Bells! Orich slowly gets to his feet and then Lancelot hits him with The Swinging Bells and covers him, the referee notices and rolls into the ring.
1.........
2...........
3..................
Daniels: Lancelot stole it! That bastard! With a mixture of luck, bad officiating and interference Bob stole the match! Dammit!
Lancelot looks up and starts to celebrate.
Richard Head: The winner of the match, and winner of Emily Fisk for one night only - Bob Lancelot.
Realizing Bob won, Emily looks at the ring with horror on her face, Bob then rolls to the outside and grabs Emily and lifts her up over his shoulders and carries her to the back with Claire in tow as Orich starts to stir and re-compose himself in the ring, Bob gets to the top of the ramp and then grabs a mic.
Bob: Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, Paris Hilton, Chyna and Sean Waltman, Britney Spear and Kevin Federline......Bob Lancelot, Claire Matthews and Emily Fisk???
Bob starts to laugh as Claire makes the universal charades sign for movie with her hands as they walk to the back and Orich looks on in disbelief.
Daniels: I can only imagine what those two are going to do with Emily tonight, and let me tell you something - it won't be pretty.
#5
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- Fed Staff
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That's How We Roll
Posted 18 April 2006 - 09:11 PM
Credits
Main Event-OJ
Vodoa/Jefferson-PWS
Redman/SYSFI-Gary
Schnitzel/Dawson-Schnitzel
Segments-OJ, Orich
Main Event-OJ
Vodoa/Jefferson-PWS
Redman/SYSFI-Gary
Schnitzel/Dawson-Schnitzel
Segments-OJ, Orich
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