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[TKOW Board]

Opening Segment

The theme from Halloween plays as the camera pans over Universal Studios Islands of Adventure theme park, which is ripe with screams and explosions. The camera slowly pans down the Port of Evil, where we find Muffy Capone and TK Styles standing at the entrance; both are wearing Halloween Horror Nights 13 t-shirts.

Muffy: Good evening everyone, and welcome to a very special pay-per-view extravaganza!

TK: That?s right, tonight it?s Halloween Hijinks 2003, and we?re coming at you LIVE from Islands of Adventure at Universal Studios. And, as you can see, tonight is one of the last nights for Halloween Horror Nights 13!

Muffy: And that?s why one of Sean Christopher?s last acts as Co-CEO was to work a multi-million dollar deal with Universal Studios! Not only are we broadcasting live here tonight, but it looks like our contract with Universal is valid through 2004 as well. So this means Halloween Hijinks 2004 will be at Universal as well!

TK: That certainly is some fantastic news Muffy, and tonight?s event card is just as stellar as that piece of news. We have a Triple Threat House of Horrors main event, with our World Champ Extreme Killer Phil defending against both Clench and Syberus? brother, Brian James. The catch is that both the World title and Brian?s UCW Heavyweight title are on the line. Whoever wins this match will be TKOW?s first-ever Undisputed World Champion!

Muffy: That?s definitely going to be a classic TK, but we also have David Rave defending his Ultimate Chaos title for the first time against Nathan Melvin, along with a Triple Threat for the Custom title and Twister taking on East Coast Crippler in the first-ever Graveyard Match!

TK: It?s definitely going to be one hell of a night Muffy. But let?s not forget that there will be the Divas Halloween Masquerade Spectacular and you and I will be taking a VIP tour of Halloween Horror Nights!

Two ghouls walk up behind Muffy and TK, grab them by their shoulders and begin pulling them back into the Port of Evil.

Muffy: Well I guess our VIP tour is starting now!

TK: This going to be great! I hope all of you enjoy the show, we?ll be back later!

In-Ring Segment

(The sound of fireworks detonating opens the Pay Per View, at a sold out Universal Studios in Orlando. As the show opens, the cameras zoom in on the standing room only crowd, and profiles several signs (PICK ME RAGE, KOBE IS T-MAC'S BITCH). Suddenly, the cameras fade over to the announcers table, where Tito Poppi and Bill Jakes are seated.)

TP: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are LIVE at the Universal Studios in Orlando as the TKOW proudly presents Halloween Hijinks 2k3! I'm Tito Poppi, alongside my broadcast partner "Playboy" Bill Jakes! Playboy, there's not an empty seat in the house!

BJ: Of course not! All these people realize that this is as close as they are going to get to being in the presence of greatness! Let's face it.. These people spend all day looking at a steroid infested rat, while cheering a guy named TRACY. Of course they are gonna come see the Playboy Live!!

TP: Folks, I hope you are all ready for some action, because what a night we have in store for you! In fact, tonight, you will see HISTORY made, that's a guarantee!

BJ: Indeed you will. Tonight, after the show, you will see the Playboy himself go conquer the great and almight piece of ass, Anna Nicole Smith!!!

TP: Not quite the history I'm sure they want to see, however if you take a look at the card, you will see exactly what I mean. In the main event of the evening, one man will leave Orlando a DOUBLE CHAMPION as the TKOW World Heavyweight Champ, The Extreme Killer Phil puts his title on the line against UCW World Champ Brian James and the wild card in all this, Clench! Playboy, who's your pick for this match? Your boy Phil really has his work cut out for him here.

BJ: Work cut out for him? How? Who's gonna beat him?? The Roaddog?? Last we seen him, he was in TNA in a stable of washed up has beens, using the name of a former crappy Rap group. Clench?? Yeah right! You can call him the Wild Card all you want, but in all reality, that one legged freak has about as much of a chance of winning this match as you do of getting skin from a woman that isn't related to you.

TP: I actually think that if I were to make a pick, I would go with Clench. As I said, he's the Florida Marlins of this match. He comes in with absolutely nothing to lose, and everything to gain. As you saw last night, the Marlins went from being a team without a chance to World Series Champions. Clench could do the same tonight!

BJ: Yes you're right.. Clench IS the Florida Marlins of this match.. He's a big damn FLUKE!!!

(The crowd begins to boo at Jakes for the remarks. He smiles and continues)

BJ: Bet your bottom dollar Tito, the Marlins WILL be the only fluke to hit Florida this month!

TP: In other action tonight, we will witness the final battle in what has truly been an epic war as David Rave puts the Ultimate Chaos Title on the line against "Superfly" Nathan Melvin.. One more match between these two, for all the marbles!

BJ: Epic war my ass!! Rave is another one who is in the Florida Marlins school of fluking out. He couldn't beat Melvin on his best damn day.

TP: Also tonight, we will see the new sensation G-Unit put his unbeaten record on the line against cagy veteran X!

BJ: New sensation? Ha! This punk kid is stepping up in level, against a guy who has chased a hell of a lot bigger and a hell of a lot badder than G-Unit off with their ass in their hands. G-Unit's big one-match winning streak Ends tonight at the hands of X!

TP: Also tonight, we will see the first ever Graveyard Buried Alive Match between Twister and TKOW Legend East Coast Crippler, Twiddler and Nova do battle in an I QUIT match, Chienne Noire unveils her Halloween "gift" to the TKOW and much much more! However, we start this evening with a rather dishearening note as we bid farewell to one of our own, "The Iceman" Jason Starr.

BJ: In all honesty, and completely out of character Tito, I know I really was one of the biggest "critics" of Jason Starr, however when you break it down, I respect the hell out of the man. In 23 years in this business, I have never met a man who was more dedicated to his craft, company and fans than the Iceman. He ALWAYS put his 110 percent in to every match, and made damn sure that, regardless of if it was a Pay Per View, a Total Conflict, a High Voltage or a House Show Hell, the people left with their moneys worth. Although I personally wish him all the success that he deserves in the NBA, I am going to miss having him around.

TP: Well said Playboy. There certainly will never be another Jason Starr.. Out of respect, we have granted Starr an opportunity to open up this Pay Per View with his retirement speech, as he made a request to say Good Bye to his fans individually, so let's kick it down to Jenny Juice in the ring. Hoops.

JJ: Thank you Tito and Playboy.. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my honor and privledge to introduce to you a man who has brought us many memories in his time here in the TKOW, a man who tonight we bid farewell to.. He is the TKOW Custom Champion, "The Icemannnnnnn" Jasonnnnnnnnn Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

(Suddenly, Magic Stick blares over the loudspeaker, as Jason Starr makes his way to the top of the rampway, with his Custom Title draped over his shoulder. As soon as he comes from behind the curtain, the crowd stands to their feet and gives him a standing ovation, chanting JASON. Starr appears touched by the gesture, smiling as he walks down to the ring and slaps the hands of each fan he sees. As he gets towards the bottom of the ramp, he stops and looks at a child in a wheelchair who has his arms up. Starr grabs the kid and gives him a big hug, putting a smile on the kids face. He then jumps in the ring, and gets a hug and kiss on the cheek from Jenny, as he stands ringside, listening to the crowd continue to chant his name. Jenny then begins to speak.)

JJ: Jason, this is your time and I will not hog the mic or keep you from your people long, however theres something on behalf of all of us, I'd like to say. You always put us first, you always had something good to say to all of us, and regardless of your own emotional state you ALWAYS tried to bring good tidings and cheer to the lockerroom. Jason, on behalf of every fan here in Orlando, at home watching on Pay Per View, and EVERY employee of the TKOW, I say Thank You! May your NBA career be as successful this time around as it was last time, and may you never forget your friends here.

(The fans cheer loudly, as Jenny hands the mic to Starr. He looks around at the crowd, pausing for a moment as they all begin to chant in unison.)

Crowd: PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO!

(Starr looks down to the mat for a moment, then looks at his Custom Title for the last time. A few minutes later, he kisses the belt, then looks up and hoists it high in the air, as the people cheer the move. Soaking up as much of the applause as he can, Starr puts the mic to his mouth and begins to speak.)

JS: Up until now, I never realized exactly how hard this was going to be. Over the last handful of days, I have contemplated what to say, I have contemplated the right words.. I have contemplated even just leaving and not saying anything because nothing I could possibly say could tell you people exactly how much I appreciate your support.

(Crowd cheers, as Starr smiles and continues.)

JS: When I announced last week that agents would be in attendance and I would be leaving this great company to return to the NBA, I thought that the departure part would be easy. When I got backstage tonight and seen the three representitves who were responsible for this all happening, I didn't change my thought that leaving is the easy part.

(Suddenly, the cameras zoom in to the three tuxedo clad men in the front row, each carrying a brown briefcase. The crowd boos the men, and begins to chant YOU SUCK DICK at them. Starr chokes back laughter at the response, as the chants momentarily continue. A few moments later, they stop as Starr continues.)

JS: My mindset really didn't change until I stood at the top of that rampway for the last time, and listened to you all give me a standing ovation, as though I was something much bigger than anything human. Then, when I got in this ring and heard your chants of Please Don't Go, and listened to you chant my name, it took everything I had in me to avoid breaking down. Under any other circumstances, I'd stay in a place like the TKOW forever!

(Crowd cheers)

JS: Never before have I been around a group of people who cared so much about the people, around a group who genuinely cared about the product and their co-workers like the ones I've met TKOW. However, unfortunately circumstances have forced my hand.

(Crowd boos)

JS: Tonight, I have no other options. I either leave, or the girl of my dreams dies... I hate having to go, especially like this, however when her life becomes a bargaining chip, in the immortal words of the late John Wayne.. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

BJ: Tito, wasn't that Popeye who said that?

TP: Shut up Bill

JS: I just wanted to let you all know one thing before I go however.. In my time here, I've lost a few... I've won many.. However, of all my victories, the greatest of them all was having fan support from people like you. It will NEVER be forgot...

(Suddenly, A hard beat pulsates through out the arena's sound system. All of a sudden, an electronic voice is heard, "When it's time to party, we will party hard!" Andrew W.K's "Party Hard" starts to blare over the loud speaker as purple and blue strobe lights pulsate through the arena. David Rave comes out doing a rave-type dance before he quickly runs down to the ring and holds his arms up in an "X" type fashion as the crowd pops hysterically for him, chanting RAVE at the top of their lungs. He heads down to the ring and gets in the ring, before sticking out his right hand to his brother. Starr shakes his hand, and hands the Ultimate Chaos Champ the mic.)

DR: I hate to interrupt your speech bro, but I had a few things I wanted to say. First off, I sat in the back all worked up about how much of an ass kicking I'm going to hand to Nathan Melvin later this evening, and how nice it's gonna be when I am forever rid of that annoying bastard..

(Crowd pops at the remark, as Rave continues)

DR: However, I also realized that with "The Iceman" away, the TKOW just wouldn't be the same.. What's gonna suck the most is the knowledge that you were forced to leave by the twisted games of some sick son of a bitch.. As they say though, our loss is someone elses gain. And, although your going to be a legend of the past later tonight, I figured that I owed you one more party!

(Rave turns and looks to the top of the ramp, at the Khaos Tron.. Suddenly Billy Joel's "This Is The Time" begins to play over the loudspeaker, as images of Starr's TKOW career flash over the screen. Shots of Starr's earliest days, giving Dom the Burning Hammer, spearing Alyon Mac, giving the Thrillshow a spinebreaker. It then moves on to his pair of matches with Colin and David. The image of the two brothers duking it out at the top of the ladder then shows. More pictures continue to show, of Starr backstage, snuggling with Geisha in front of a candle, playfully fighting with Colin, and the two brothers laughing as they sat in the seats of Busch Stadium watching a baseball game. The song then winds down and ends with the lasting image of a bloody Starr holding up the Custom Title for the first time, after winning it. Underneath the image, the words THANK YOU BRO pop up. Back in the ring, Starr is seen, obviously emotional. He then gives his brother a hug. Following it, Rave continues to speak.)

DR: They also say that a party isn't a party without friends around, and Jay all these people wanted to come out here and thank you personally because you are a friend to all of them.

JS: What the hell you talking about bro?

(Dave points to the back. Suddenly TKOW superstars Nova, Varick Thorne, both members of Generation X, The Twiddler, Gideon, Onslaught, RAGE, Colin, Sean Christopher, Clench, Bob Whiffo, Cookies Zencreem, Chienne Noire, Oona, Diabloque, Destroyer 51, Wynter, Onslaught, Nitro The Retarded Whale, Dr. Jon Death, Joel Payne, Todd, Madison and RJ Dyson, Tsunami, The C-Man, G-Unit, X, Nathan Melvin, The Lone Horseman, The Punk, Terminator, and all of the Jackhammers come down to the ring, each with a beer in hand.)

BJ: Oh shit!! There's going to be a damn brawl!!!!

TP: I don't think so Playboy.. It looks like they are toasting Starr!

(The group holds their beer up in unison, as Rave grabs a beer for himself, and hands one to his brother. The two hold their beer up in the air, and all at once open the beers and drink. When they finish up, all of them salute Starr and applaud. Starr, genuinely touched, looks around to the crowd and to his TKOW family, partially choked up. A few seconds later, from the top of the rampway a familiar voice is heard)

VOICE: Wait wait wait.. Just a second here!!

(The crowd turns to see the new look Vixon walking down the rampway with a mic in her hand.)

V: It's bad enough you all have a party without inviting little ol me, but the least you can do is tell me when the party is so I can somehow appear.

(She stops as she gets by the ring, then looks to her right and left at the two men standing next to her, Lone Horseman and C-Man. Obliging, the two get on the apron and hold the ropes open for Vixon, who crawls through them. She then goes face to face with Starr, who attempts to keep his eyes focused. She then begins to speak.)

V: I know exactly what this is all about Jason. I know why your doing this. I know all the underlying reasons. Let me clue you in on a little secret here. Your girlfriend, my Geisha... I love her like shes my sister. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do to help that girl out.

(Vixon pauses for a minute, getting Starr to look her in the eye.)

V: I knew your reputation with the ladies Jason. I knew what you were like once, and I hated the fact that of all the eligible bachelors she had to choose from, she picked you.

(Crowd begins to boo, not expecting the remarks. Not fazed, Starr nods in agreement with Vixon.)

V: I did everything I could in my power to make sure that my girl didn't fall for you. I tried setting her up with other dates, I tried warning her.. But she wouldn't listen. Something about you caught her.. I couldn't stop what was happening, and the only thing I could do is hope that you wouldn't work her over..

(Vixon pauses for a moment, letting the words sink in.. Feeling awkward, Starr slinks back slowly, as Vixon continues)

V: However, that all changed. The other day, when I heard you get on national television and tell the entire world that you would give up everything you ever owned to get her back. When I saw you break down in the lockerroom after a House Show Hell and pray to God to take your health and safety to make her free and safe, I then realized that my girl is in good hands..

(A smile creeps across Vixons face as she continues.)

V: Now that you have my vote of confidence.. You better NOT let me down.. You go out there tonight.. You beat that son of a bitch within an inch of his life, and you get Geisha back. As for his threat, you leave the rest up to us.

(Vixon holds out her arms.. Starr looks around, then turns to Rave, who uses his thumb to point at Vixon, while making a face that says "DAMN RIGHT". Smiling, Starr turns and hugs Vixon tightly, as the crowd pops. He then releases the hug, grabbing the mic once more, and turning to the three agents.)

JS: You know fellas.. I'm probably going to regret saying this later.. However, I'm going to have to decline your offer.

(The crowd goes hysterical in cheers)

JS: I am quite honored by the fact that you were all willing to throw that kind of money my way. Hell, I'll probably never come close to making that much.. However, there are more important things in life than money.. Maybe someday, my NBA career will continue.. But for now, this is my home, and this is my family. And I plan on being here until I'm thrown out the damn doors.

(Crowd pops loudly again.)

JS: Oh yeah.. One last thing.. Soulfly.. You think you were in hell during your near death experience?? Well my friend, in the immortal words of Bachman Turner Overdrive, You aint seen nothin yet mother fucker!!!!! Jason "F'n" Starr is coming for ya.. Consider yourself Warned beeotch!!!!

(Crowd cheers, as Starr leaves the ring and the crew of wrestlers all head back stage.)

TP: By God, he's here and here to stay!! Soulfly better say his prayers!! What a way to start this historic evening!! Stay tuned!!!

Halloween Open Challenge: Xcutioner vs. G-Unit
Results:

The lights go out, and Xcutioner's theme music hits. As the lights slowly come back to full brightness, about 6 black crows fly from the entrance, and then towards the rafters as X finally comes out. His hair hangs over his eyes as he steadily makes his way to the ring. Once in the ring, he goes to a corner and slouches down against the ropes.

PIMP by 50 Cents hits next, and out comes G-Unit, accompanied by Courtney Storm. G-Unit plays to the crowd, as Courtney sashays down the ramp in front of him. G-Unit slides into the ring under the ropes. He raises his hands in the air enjoying the decent pop from the crowd, as Courtney Storm cheers him on from the outside of the ring. Xcutioner still leans back slouched in the corner, his hair covering his eyes.

Titto: G-Unit is pupmed up, but what's wrong with X?

PB Jakes: He's a killer Titto! He doesn't care about the fanfare and glamor of this match! He's just waiting for the bell.

Ding-Ding

The bell rings. G-Unit faces X, and beacons him on! But X remains in the corner with his head down. G-Unit walks towards him, flinching at X as if he's going to hit him at any moment, but X keeps his head down. G-Unit complains to the ref, and the crowd starts to boo.

Titto: What's going on?

PB Jakes; I don't know, but X better look out!

G-Unit can't wait any longer, and charges at X! He lays into him with jabs to the head, and forearms to the back. Xcutioner goes down to one knee. G-Unit moves in for another blow, and X gets up and gives him a hard push to the mat!

PB Jakes: Ah yeah, here we go! Kill that rookie!

Titto: No, look!

X slouches back into the corner again. Again the crowd boos, until G-Unit charges back at X. This time when X goes to one knee, G-Unit seizes the opprotunity, and gives him a suplex onto the mat. G-Unit turns to the crowd to celebrate, and is floored by a clothesline from X, who got right back up from the suplex! X begins to stomp on the head and upper back of G-Unit. He then pushes his hair back out of his face, looks at Courtney Storm, and smiles. He breaks the smile as he drops and gives G-Unit a double knee to the middle of his back!

Titto: That's gottta hurt!

PB Jakes: X is going to break this rookie's back!

X puts G-Unit into a Boston Crab hold, again working his back. Luckly G-Unit is close to the ropes, and grabs it. The ref counts all the way to five before X is willing to break the hold. X picks up G-Unit by the head. He gives him three knees to the midsection that lifts him off the ground, and then slams him head first down onto the mat! X goes over to the top rope, and again smiles down at Courtney. He turns his attention back to G-Unit, and picks him up. As he picks him up, G-Unit gives him a shot to the gut. X stumbles, and keeps hold of him, but G-Unit begins to give him a flury of blows! With X stunned, he runs to the ropes, rebounds, and connects with a neckbreaker! Feeling confident, G-Unit goes to pick up X, but X smashes is forearm into G-Unit's groin.

Titto: Looks like X being a "heel of a vetran decided to take the refs warning instead of G's next move!

PB Jakes: Yeah, and now G-Unit has pain in his "unit"! Ha ha!

X grabs G-Unit, and slings him into a corner. X slms a knee into G-Units midsection, and follows with two forearms to his head. With G-Unit groggy, X whips him to the opposite corner, and follows him by delivering a back forearm smash snapping back G-Units head. G-Unit falls down to the mat. X smiles at the fallen G-Unit, and then looks outside of the ring at Courtney. X rolls out of the ring.

Titto: What is X doing?

PB Jakes: Looks like while G-Unit trys to figure out what planet he is on, the "pitbull" is going to play with his bitch!

Courtney tries to give the approaching X one of her tough girl glares, but X keeps advancing towards her. The look on Courtney's face changes as X continues his slow walk towards her with a smirk on his face.

Titto: The ref is tired of warning X, and is starting his count! But look!

PB Jakes: Watchout X!

A recovered G-Unit hits X from behind! He takes X and slams his head on one of the guard rails. He tries to whip X into the metal stairs, but X reverses it and sends G-Unit into the stairs, whic do not give an ounce. X picks up G-Unit's lifeless body, and rolls him in the ring under the ropes. X then enters the ring by propelling his body over the top rope and landing with a guillotine leg drop on the throat of G-Unit! G-Unit grabs his throat and struggles for air. X comes up from behind him, and plants him with a hard back drop! As G-Unit lays motionless on the mat, X looks over at Courtney and blows her a kiss. She flicks him off as he picks G-Unit up. X sneds Gunit back down by bouncing him off his knee with a Tilt-A-Whirl Back Breaker! G-Unit holds his back as he rolls in the ring. X looks down on him, smirking.

Titto: His back may be broken!

PB Jakes: Trick-O-Treat G-unit!

X again walks to the rope, taunting Courtney. As she flares her arms and rolls her neck while cussing at him, X reaches down and picks up G-Unit. He turns his painful face to Courtney and mouths something about it being over. X slaps his hand around G-Unit's face.

PB JAkes: Yes! It looks like G-Unit is about to get a 187,(Face - Chokeslam) straight through the ring!!

X tries to pick up G-Unit for the 187, but Courtney grabs G-Unit's legs! The ref doesn't see it, but X does, and is furious! He pushes the ref aside, and goes to the outside of the ring. Courtney runs as X beins his pursuit! Courtney trips on a powerline and falls to the floor. X strolls up to her feet. Just as X reaches down to grab her legs, he is met with a baseball slide to the side of the head from G-Unit! X goes flying into the announcing table. G-Unit rolls out of the ring, and lights into X! After a flury of blows, he slams X's head onto the table! X holds his head, a little grogy, and G-Unit spears him, causing X's back to hit the pole! G-Unit grabs X and now rolls HIM under the ropes.

Titto: Look at this, G-Unit is on the torp rope! X is almost on his feet ...

PB Jakes: C'mon X!

X charges the top rope, and G-Unit flips over him, landing on his feet! But X grabs him from behind, and prepares to give G-Unit a sidewalk slam! G-Unit blocks it, gives X a hit to the groin, and puts him in his torture rack! The move seems effective as X grimaces in pain, but G-Unit drops him in pain from the punishment his own back took earlier in the match!

Titto: Talk about exciting! After a series of moves, anyone could have won just now!

PB Jakes: yeah but it looks like we now know why G-Unit can' keep a womna, he has no back!

With Courtney banging on the mat from the outside of the ring, X and G-Unit get to theor feet at the same time. They lock up, and each man tries to out do the other. After a series of counters and changing of holds, G-Unit gains the advantage. He puts X in an abdominal stretch. X grimaces in pain as he reaches for the ropes, but G-Unit keeps the hold locked in. As a last ditch effort, X is able to give G-unit a judo toss down to the mat. He tries an elbow drop, G-Unit rolls out of the way. G-Unit runs and rebounds off the rope, X drops to the mat and G-Unit leaps over him, X prepares to give him a clothesline whn he rebounds, but G-Unit catches him with a spinning wheel kick! X stands, and G-Unit wraps him up and sends him down with a reverse DDT! G-Unit signals for Ballin Hard (The Last Ride).

Titto: This could be it! No way X will get up from this move!

To the enjoyment of Courtney and some of the fans in the crowd, G-Unit lifts X up, but X starts to battle back! He gives G-Unit some sharp blows to the head. G-Unit drops him, X grabs him ...

PB Jakes: 187! 187! I told you Titto!

Titto: Yeah, but he can't make the pin because G-Unit just rolled out of the ring.!

X is down on one knee, a little winded. He looks at Courtney checking on G-Unit, trying to get him to stand up. X gets up, and starts to leave the ring against the wishes of the ref. The ref grabs X's arm, and X gives the ref a 187!!

Titto: X just knocked off the ref! he should be disqualified!

PB Jakes: Well looks like me and the bell ringer both agree that wouldn't be a wise thing to do.

X walks up behind Courtney, and grabs her by her hair. She strugles as he picks her up, and licks the side of her face. She struggles harder as he sticks his nose in her hair and inhales deeply. He forces her face towards his, and Courtney gets a kick to his groin! As X grabs his groin, G-Unit staggers to his feet! He again goes for Ballin Hard ... and hits it! X lands with a sickning thud. G-Unit falls down after delivering the move. Finally, the bell ringer rings the bell.

Titto: So who wins? Who won the match?

PB Jakes: I don't know, but the ref, bell ringer, and match announcer are having some serious disscussion over there. OK, here comes the announcer ...

Ring Announcer: Xcutioner was disqualified for striking the ref, however, it is undetermined whether G-Unit was counted out of the ring before the actions of Xcutioner, thefore, this match has ended in a double-disqualification!

PB Jakes: What?!

Titto: Well personally, I think X should be happy with thatruling! He got away with one!

PB Jakes: No way! G-Unit was outside the ring about 20 seconds before X hit that punk!

The two continue to argue the ruling.

Winner: Double-Disqualification

Segment

'Working Man' by Rush fills the arena, and Alyon walks down to a chorus of boos. Alyon reaches under the ring, and grabs a sledgehammer. Alyon steps into the ring, and grabs a microphone.

AM: Well, I think the Seimen has answered my call, but let's just see if he comes out! No pun intended!

"American Hair Band" by Tuff plays as smoke fills the arena and bright lights are flashing. The C-Man enters the arena as all the ladies scream for him and all the guys boo. He is then jumped from behind by The Golden Child!

TP: Oh My God! One of the members of Alyon's former Academy...The Golden Child...He's BACK!!!.

PBJ: My boy is back!

TGC sneak attacks C-Man, then he carries him down to the ring, and Alyon and TGC double team C-Man. Then all of sudden you hear two gunshots, and 'TNT' by AC/DC is played, and 'ShoTGuN' Alex Turner comes down. He and Alyon immediately brawl while TGC and C-Man brawl. ShoTGuN gives Alyon the Gunner, and then goes after TGC. C-Man comes in and pins Alyon 1...2...3!!!

Winner: C-Man

PBJ: What a jip! My boy Alyon get jewed!

TP: Give it up, Jakes, Alyon tried to cheat, and Turner just evened up the odds!

PBJ: Whatever, Alyon will get his revenge!

Twiddler vs. Nova

?Don?t Stay? by Linkin Park hits as a huge pyro goes off and Nova comes out to the ring. He is booed the whole way down until he spits into the audience. He jumps over the top rope straight into another booming pyro.

Tito: Nova?s in the ring, awaiting his opponent the Twiddler. The stipulations have been changed for this match. It was supposed to be an I Quit match, but was changed. It is now a No DQ, falls count anywhere match.

Bill: Ya. It seems like it?s right up Twiddler?s alley. Him and his magic pants?.god I hate that stupid Twiddler?.He?s gonna get his ass kicked by Nova, I think.

Tito: Don?t be so sure of that, Bill. Twiddler is almost undefeated. His only loss was in a championship match against Thorne, but even then it was very close.

Bill: Ya, ya, ya. Shut up Tito.

?Fishheads? by Barnes and Barnes hits as Twiddler makes his way down to the ring. Halfway down the ramp, he gets attacked from behind by Alyon Mac. Alyon sends Twid to the floor with a clothesline before he starts kicking him while he?s down. Nova runs out of the ring and pushes Alyon away before he starts kicking at Twiddler as well. Alyon pushes Nova and the two start to argue, not noticing Twiddler stand-up and brush himself off. They turn to Twiddler and go for a double-clothesline but he ducks it. As they turn around Twiddler kicks them both in the gut before giving them a double DDT onto the concrete, knocking them out cold. Twiddler gets up with a big smile on his face. He rolls both Mac and Nova into the ring, before following them himself.

Bill: Ok, that?s it. I can?t take much more of this. I?m gonna go in there and kick his ass myself!!

Bill Jakes grabs a chair before sliding into the ring himself. He smashes the chair across Twiddler?s back, but nothing happens. Twiddler turns around with a smile on his face as Jakes swings at him with the chair again but Twidd grabs the chair and rips it out of Jake?s hands before tossing it to the side. Jakes backs right into the turnbuckle, realizing there?s no-where else to go. Twid reaches into his pants as he walks forwards and pulls out?..a rolled-up newspaper!!! He start?s smacking Jakes upside the head with it while saying things like ?Bad Boy? and ?Now who?s the underdog, Bill? Huh?.? Twiddler then smacks him again before kicking him out of the ring and yelling ?Get back to your seat, BITCH!!!? Twiddler then picks up Nova and hits him with a Twiddle-Bomb. He grabs Alyon by the head, runs towards the ropes and hits him with the Fish Fry, making sure he lands on top of Nova. Twiddler get?s up with a big smile on his face. He walks to the corner, jumping up onto the top-turnbuckle. He looks to the crowd, smiling, before he jumps off with a Funky Flip onto both Alyon and Nova!!! Twiddler then gets up, shaking his finger at the crowd, letting them know it?s not over yet. He reaches into his pant?s pulling out a table. He puts the table down and then rolls outside the ring, picking up the steel ring steps, sliding them into the ring as well. He lays Alyon on top of the table, picks up Jakes chair and lays it on top of Alyon, and then slides the ring steps underneath the table. Twiddler then picks up Nova and makes his way to the Top-Turnbuckle again, before signaling to the crowd and jumping off the turnbuckle, slamming Nova through the chair, Alyon, the table, and the steel ring steps with a devastating Funkifier!! Twiddler then gets up and puts his foot onto Nova for the pin and the 1?..2?3!!

Winner: The Twiddler!!!

In-Ring Segment

Damage Inc.? hits as the core members of Damage Inc make their way to the ring...

Twiddler looks on wondering what's going on...

DI enters the ring...

Soulfly calls for a microphone...

Soulfly: Twid...we've got somethin' important to ask ya...

Twiddler looks on listenning intently...

Soulfly: You've been tight with Thorne awhile now and after all his changes you've proven your loyalty...

Soulfly: Which is why it's time to die...

DI surrounds Twiddler who gets ready to fight and they all laugh...

Soulfly: Just kiddin' man...if we were gonna do that it woulda been done long ago...

Soulfly: Twid...truth be told...we like what you got...which is why what we're about to ask was a unanimous decision on all members of DI's part...

Soulfly continues...

Soulfly: Twid...how would you like to ride with DI...

Twiddler: Me...in DI...?

All of DI nods...

Twiddler: Well I can't say I'm not flattered but I have to take some time to consider it...

Twiddler: Ohhhhhh that's long enough....OHHHHHH HELLLLLL YEAHHHHHHH!!!!! Of course my answer is yes...

All men laugh and welcome Twiddler to DI as Damage Inc. by Metallica begins to play

Custom Championship: Jason Starr vs. Soulfly vs. Icarus

Tito: Well here we have it folks...the world's first Spiked Cage of Death Match...and who better to christen it than Soulfly, Icarus Evangeline and Jason Starr...

Playboy: They'll christen it alright...christen it in blood...and what about the ladies...

Tito: We can never forget the significant others of the three men involved...Miranda, Kasumi and Geisha have been put though a living hell by Icarus and Soulfly...they don't deserve it...

Playboy: You're right Tito...they don't deserve it...but they should've expected it...they'll be held 40 ft above the ring in a mini-steel cage...the stipulation agreed upon is winner gets all 3 ladies to do with as he pleases...

Tito: I expected Fly and Icarus to agree on a stipulation like that but not Starr...

Playboy: Starr will do whatever it takes to get Geisha back...this is no exception...

Tito: I guess I can understand that...here come the men involved now...the ladies are all in the cage being hoisted now...

The lights in the arena dim to darkness...."Oxy Cotton" by Lil' Wyte with Lord Infamous and Crunchy Blac begins playing throughout the arena, as the khaostron begins showing various drugs.....marijuana plants, cocaine, ecstacy, Oxy Contin, and more

Two bright green spotlights begin circling the arena in opposite directions as the verse kicks in

Lil Wyte:
Go on and slip me two Xanax Bars - I'm ready to git fool
5th to Crown to wash it down, I'm downtown snapping rolls
Ain't no shame up in my game - in fact I'm mentally deranged
Oxycontin in my system - man I'm feeling kinda strange
Watch me choke about this dope - Blueberry from Texas
She wanna git up in rotation that's too bad cause I'm stressing

the lights stop together on the entrance ramp, where Soulfly stands with his arms spread out in his infamous taunt...

Lil Wyte:
'Bout now its 1:30 am - 11 Percocets just entered me
15 minutes from this second - I'll be crawling on my knees
Laughing at the crowd of all the clowns that be surrounding me
Take another Lortab to call me down and let me see
Body be relaxed - muscles be loose, and you have stopped the pain
No more bitching 'bout your day and work and driving in the rain

Fly gets on the apron

Lil Wyte:
Put up wit' the fussing and discussion - I plant in your brain
Hypnotize ya minds, like all the rest but I come through the veins
Take a chill pill to slow me down and git back in this game
Gatta be up on ya P's and Q's to even feel it mane

Fly plays to the crowd in the ring, two spotlights on him as the song kicks into the chorus

Lil Wyte:
Oxycontin - Xanax Bars - Percocet and Lortab
Valiums - Morphine - patches - Exctacy - and it's all up for grab
What'cha want - what'cha need - hit me up I got you mane
What'cha want - what'cha need - hit me up I got you mane

Oxycontin - Xanax Bars - Percocet and Lortab
Valiums - Morphine - patches - Exctacy - and it's all up for grab
What'cha want - what'cha need - hit me up I got you mane
What'cha want - what'cha need - hit me up I got you mane

The green lights disappear, the arena lights come on, fly lights up a joint as he waits on his opponent

The lights dim over the arena, as shade of orange and purple lights illuminate the darkness. A few moments later, an electrically enhanced voice begins to speak.

"The Star that Never Stops Shining!"

Immediately following the words, the lights return to normal, replaced by gold fireworks that begin to shoot from the floor, while "Magic Stick" by 50 Cent begins to play over the loudspeaker.

A few seconds later, Starr appears in the smoke, with his Custom Title raised in the air. He then slowly paces to the ring, slapping the hands of some fans on the way down. Upon his arrival, he escalates the right turnbuckle, faces the crowd and points in their direction. He then jumps from the ropes and crosses himself, before slinking in to the corner to await his opponent.

Tito: Well Soulfly and Jason are in the cage waiting on Icarus...

Playboy: this is weird he's usually the first one out here...

Icarus Evangeline's music begins to play but the man is nowhere in sight...

Tito: Wait a minute...what's that...

Playboy: That's Icarus!!!! He was under the ring and noone sees him yet!!!!

Icarus slides into the ring behind Soulfly and Jason Starr throwing salt in both thier eyes before the bell even rings...he proceeds to beat the living tar out of them but it all seems on even ground with a 3 way slobbernocker...the bell rings and the match is underway...

Playboy: Good trick on Icarus part...haven't seen that used since Fuji manged the Orient Express...

Tito: Those were the days...I wonder where they are now...

Playboy: Last I heard Fuji was taking tickets at a cinema, Paul Diamond was teaching wrestling and Pat Tanaka became a living example of how to screw yourself in the wrestling game...we need more guys like them in TKOW!...

Tito: I couldn't agree more...

Tito: Well Icarus it seems is in control for the moment...

Soulfly is down while Icarus throws Jason Starr into the ropes...on the way back Icarus throws Jason over the top rope toward the spiked cage...

Jason catches himself on the ropes pulling himself back in...kicking Icarus then punching him...

Fly back up to his feet grabs Jason dropping him with a reverse DDT...

Icarus starts stomping both Fly and Jason...

Fly kicks Icarus in the crotch folding him over then puts a boot to his face...Icarus hits the ropes...coming back Fly monkeyflips him then gets up...

Fly drops a knee across Jason's throat...then an elbow...Jason catches his leg on the 2nd attempt and rolls him up...

1...

2...

Icarus breaks up the count...

Icarus lifts up Jason dropping him with a modified tiger bomb...hooks a leg...

1...

2...

Jason kicks out...

Fly grabs Icarus by the hair and flings him over the top rope into the spiked cage face-first...

Playboy: Uh oh...first blood has been drawn...

Icarus looks up through his blood-soaked face and hair...he licks his lips and begins to smile an almost demonic smile...

Jason dropkicks Fly over the top rope right on top of Icarus...

Icarus catches him and drops him into a Michonoku Driver...

Icarus lifts up Fly and starts ramming him into the spikes...Fly is open wide now too...

Jason runs to the opposite ropes...comes back...bodypress into Icarus and Fly...

All 3 men hit the spiked cage...blood has been spilled everywhere...from all 3 men...

Playboy: Look...who's that...?

Dave Rave comes running out of the crowd with a coil of rope and a grappling hook over his shoulder...he begins scaling the spiked cage like a moutain-climber scales a rock-face...being careful not to fall when the cage shakes...

Icarus heads for the cage door when he sees Dave Rave halfway up the cage...Jason Starr grabs him and throws him back in the ring...then grabs Soulfly and does the same...he nods to Dave Rave who continues climbing finally reaching the top of the cage...

Jason unscrews one of the large spikes...rolls in the ring and takes it to soulfly...

Dave Rave takes his shot with the grappling hook...hooks the catwalk above the cage holding the 3 ladies...he begins to climb...

Tito: Look...someone's up there...

As he climbs a mysterious figure is seen up on the catwalk...the figure begins cranking the cage up higher till its level with the catwalk where he pulls one of the ladies out...

Playboy: Who the hell is that...?

Everything stops in the arena as the lady is thrown from the catwalk with a noose around her neck...Rave stops climbing...turning his eyes away from the lady aside him...who is it...Kasumi...?...Miranda...?...Geisha...?

Playboy turns a pale white...

Playboy: Dear god in heaven...

Icarus takes Soulfly and pushes him face first into the cage again...then does the same with Jason Starr...

Dave Rave turns his head to see a Mannikan hanging beside him...he sighs in relief...then begins to get pissed as he climbs...

Icarus heads out through the ropes as both Fly and Jason grab him sending him right into the Spikes in agony...

Rave finally makes it to the top of the catwalk and the mystery figure is gone...he walks u to the cage and tries picking the lock...successfully...

Rave opens the door and lets all the ladies out...they're finally free...he escorts them across the catwalk to the back as the fans cheer...

Tito: He's got them Rave has set the girls free!!!

Seeing this Jason Starr begins to smile...then explodes...

Jason hit's the Solar Flare on Soulfly followed by an elbow to Icarus...Starshine on Icarus...

Playboy: What the heck is Starr doing here...?

Jason perches around the corner watching...waiting...as Icarus and Soulfly both get to thier feet...

Zombie and Psycho run down through the crowd...climbing the railing...heading for the cage...

Double spear by Jason into both Soulfly and Icarus into the spiked cage wall...

Tito: Oh my god!!!!

Playboy: It's Fly's boys...Fly's boys are here...

Zombie and Psycho enter the cage heading right for Jason Starr and Icarus Evangeline...

Psycho gets in the ring throwing Icarus to the ropes...

Psychotherapy!!!!

Zombie throws Jason into the ropes...

Psychotherapy...reversal into a Solar Flare on Psycho...

Soulfly enters the ring and joins Zombie in a doubleteam on Jason...

Jason fights back valiantly until Psycho gets back to his feet...making it a 3 on 1...

Playboy: Starr's in big trouble now!!!

Icarus begins to stir...

Tito: Rave's back!!!!

Dave Rave comes running from the back with a chair in hand...runs into the cage going right after Fly and his boys...

Rave nails Zombie with the chair but gets sidewalk slammed from behind by Psycho...

Fly grabs the chair and smashes Jason with it...

A figure comes out of the audience carrying a chair of his own...entering the cage...

Playboy: Who's that...?...Some fan is entering the ring...

Tito: IT'S COLIN!!!!!!! COLIN'S HERE!!!

Colin swings his chair holding it between the 3 opponents and himself protecting the 3 fallen men...

Dueling chairs between Colin and Soulfly...Colin ducks a shot and catches Fly on an upswing due to his dulled reflexes due to heavy bloodloss...Fly falls through the ropes getting right back up...heading back in...Icarus is back up going after zombie...Jason, now up, joins in...giving Zombie the same doubleteam treatment he'd given them...Zombie exits the ring...

Colin throws the chair up at Psycho's face...

Shooting Star Press to the steel chair...blasting zombie...who falls outside over the top rope...

Psycho shakes it off and prepares to head back in after Colin...Fly holds him back noticing the 3 on 4 odds are not in thier favor...realizing there will most definitely be another time and place...

Fly and Crew leave the cage watching Rave and Colin...crossed chairs in hand...

Fly: Not today...watch you backs...you made a big BIG mistake...

Rave takes a microphone...

Rave: Fly, just thought you'd like to know Miranda is safe and sound in the back waiting for you...

Fly and crew head to the back never taking thier eyes off the ring...

Jason asks for the mic...

Jason: Icarus...you gave me one of the toughest matches of my life...both you and Fly...

Jason puts out his hand to shake...

Icarus leans back intentionally falling over the ropes to the outside giving Jason a dirty look...backing off himself...

Dave Rave asks for the microphone again...

Icarus: Kasumi is being checked out in the med room...there's enough security there you won't have to worry about her with Fly and his boys...

Rave turns to Colin...

Colin holds his hand out for a handshake..

Rave: No bro...you ain't gettin' off that easy...

Dave grabs Colin's hand and pulls him into a hug...Jason joins in as the celebrate...

Rave laughs for a second...

Rave: Oh yeah I almost forgot something...

Rave: I think someone wants to see you Jay...

Geisha steps out of the crowd and runs to Jason Starr as he runs over meeting her with a long, passionate kiss...

Colin: Yup everything's definitely back to normal...they're at it again...

Colin and Dave Rave both break into loud laughter as the fans continue to cheer...

Winner: Jason Starr by DQ

In-Ring Segment

Tito Poppi: Well?that was one hell of a match wasn?t it Bill?

Bill Jakes: Definitely match of the year material! It had it all, action, intrigue and not to mention boob?

The announcers are interrupted by Opeth?s Deliverance rocking over the arena?s sound system. A dark figure steps through the curtain but is consumed by shadows.

Tito Poppi: What the????

Bill Jakes: Jack Martinmas?gotta be?

The figure emerges from the shadows in a hooded cloak carrying a Jack O Lantern and walks slowly to the ring. Upon reaching the ring he climbs in slowly and gets a microphone. He then speaks with his head down.

Jack Martinmas: Two nights ago I left an address in the centre of the ring with instructions on it to retrieve candles from a jack O Lantern I had placed at an undisclosed location. Five of these candles were picked up and I would like to have those who collected them come to the ring if they would.

The silence of the auditorium is deafening?The crowd sit confused?

Tito Poppi: Heh heh heh looks like a no show man?

Bill Jakes: Yeah?I guess no one had the Halloween spirit tonight huh?

Both Tito and Bill begin to laugh and mock Jack Martinmas?

Just as these two are in the middle of their mockery? Generation Clash by Accept begins to play as a multi-colored strobe light hits the arena...a spotlight hits the crowd as it fixes on two figures in the upper bleachers...two familiar figures dressed in Union Jack shorts not seen since the early-90s...the dark-haired figure waves a flag...the Union Jack...Johnny Suede and Syd Shivyr make their way into the ring take out two candles and give them to the cloaked figure who puts them inside the Jack O Lantern.

Tito Poppi: WHAT!!!!!???

Bill Jakes: Generation X just joined forces with this nobody kid?

Tito Poppi: Ok?I?ve seen it all now?Suede and Shivyr might as well wave goodbye to their careers with that choice!

A hard beat pulsates through out the arena's sound system. All of a sudden, an electronic voice is heard, "When it's time to party, we will party hard!" Andrew W.K's "Party Hard" starts to blare over the loud speaker as purple and blue strobe lights pulsate through the arena. David Rave comes out doing a rave-type dance before he quickly runs down to the ring and holds his arms up in an "X" type fashion.

Bill Jakes: OK you have GOT to be kidding me?Dave Rave? Did all the TKOW MegaStars have crack for breakfast this morning or something?

Tito Poppi: I have no idea Bill but this is starting to make me REALLY nervous?

Dave Rave slides under the ropes and pulls a candle from his pocket and gets up in the hooded figure?s face?he stands with a smirk on his face for a few seconds and then casually lifts the top off of the Jack O Lantern and drops the candle in it. The hooded figure lifts his hand and pats Dave Rave on the shoulder. Dave Rave takes his place with Johnny Suede and Syd Shivyr both of whom are giggling to themselves and encouraging the fans to riot.

Bill Jakes: Yeah?this is all wrong?this kid has three of TKOW?s most lethal Megastars?what is going ON!!!!!???

The lights dim over the arena, as dark blue and red lights illuminate the darkness. A few moments later, an electrically enhanced voice begins to speak.

"The Future is now".

"It's time for you to take notice."

"No defeat, no submission... No Surrender!!!!"

Tito Poppi: I think you can add another name to that list Bill?that is Jason Starr?s music!!!!!!

Bill Jakes: Maybe he?ll come down here and stop this little party of Martinmas? before everyone loses their minds.


Following the words, the lights return to normal as red and blue fireworks begin to shoot from the floor, while "Magic Stick" by 50 Cent begins to play over the loudspeaker. On the Khaostron, an image of Jason Starr blocking a shot made by Tim Duncan, then Starr sacking an unsuspecting QB during his days as a linebacker at Alabama, as gold pyro shoots through the rafters. A few seconds later, Starr appears in the smoke, with his singapore cane raised in the air. He then bashes himself in the head repeatedly with the cane, working himself up to a frenzy before dashing down to the ring. Upon his arrival, he escalates the right turnbuckle, faces the crowd and points the cane in their direction. He then jumps from the ropes and crosses himself. Starr then unscrews the head of the cane and turns it upside down shaking out a candle. He grins evilly and hands it to the hooded figure, who subsequently puts it in the Jack O Lantern. Starr takes his place with the others and exchanges a high five with Dave Rave before settling himself in.

Bill Jakes: I am at a total loss?how in the HELL did this kid pull this shit off? He?s a NOBODY for crying out loud!!!!!

Tito Poppi: Bill?for the first time in a long time?I completely agree with you?


The hooded figure still has his head hung down holding the Jack O Lantern with one hand. He raises the microphone to his mouth and begins to speak.


Jack Martinmas: I do believe there was one more candle?Please?come forth?

The crowd is on their feet looking around for the newest member of Martinmas? stable?After a few seconds none other than Icarus Evangeline emerges from the curtain. Icarus is laughing himself into a frenzy as he stands on the ramp looking down towards the ring.

Tito Poppi: It looks like he may have asked the wrong person to join him.

Bill Jakes: Yeah that Icarus is a crazy bastard?just lookin at him makes me shiver. He?ll never join up with some young upstart like Jack Martin-whoever?

Icarus meanwhile is still stalking across the ramp clicking his metal claw rings together laughing. He stops for a moment to ponder something. He then begins to laugh uncontrollably. He steadies himself and then walks slowly and casually down to the ring. He slowly methodically pulls himself through the ropes and locks eyes with Jason Starr?then he looks at Dave Rave?he then gives Johnny Suede and Syd Shivyr a glancing look before walking towards the hooded figure in the centre of the ring.

The hooded figure raises the microphone once again and speaks.

Jack Martinmas: I believe

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