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[TKOW Board]

The camera moves down an empty corridor, toward an intersection. A male voice can barely be heard and the camera moves toward it.

Male Voice: *frustrated* How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?! I was stupid back then… and scared shitless. I admit I wasn’t the man I should have been. Don’t you think I regret it?

The camera moves closer to the voice as Matt Griffen enters the corridor from a more distant intersection and advances toward the camera. Upon hearing the voice say her name, his strides increase, his expression becoming one of concern.

Male Voice: Well, tough, Skye, because you’re stuck with me, even though you DON’T like it. I’m here to keep anything from happening to you and you can kick, bitch at me and Power, throw a tantrum and try to avoid me all you want. It’s not going to work.

The camera moves within a few meters of the intersection during a few moments of silence.

Male Voice: A man can only do so much, especially in those circumstances. She put herself in danger. Remember that. I’ll be damned if I let you do the same thing.

Silence.

Male Voice: No, it won’t be any better when she’s back. She’ll have a damn good reason to do what I say and stick close and accept protection. I have ammo now to make her.

The voice drops and softens until it’s barely heard, even at the close proximity of the mic.

Male Voice: You, however, are a different case.

The camera reaches the intersection, panning first down a dead end to the left with Griffen still a few meters away. The camera pans to the right.

Male Voice: We both know why you’re fighting this so much. I see it in your eyes, Skye. There’s still something be-

The camera finds Lady Hawke backed up against the wall, pad and pen held close to her stomach. Trine stands almost intimately close to her, one hand pressed against the wall at Hawke’s side, his arm nearly touching her. She glances toward the camera. He drops his arm and looks away from the camera.

Trine: *quiet mumble* Damn it.

Lady Hawke suddenly appears relieved and moves away from Trine and toward the camera, which pitches to the side as Griffen passes it. The camera moves for a better angle as Griffen takes her arms in his hands.

Matt: *concerned* Is everything alright?

Hawke nods as Griffen glances over to Trine, who has now turned back and leans a shoulder against the wall, his sky-blue eyes standing out against the dark red of his mask.

Trine: Everything’s fine. I was just trying to convince her not to go wandering off without protection, especially after what happened after her last match.

Griffen looks back down at Lady Hawke.

Matt: Is that true?

Trine's lips draw into hard lines at the question. After a slight hesitation and a quick glance at Trine, Skye nods. Griffen looks back to Trine.

Matt: Okay then. We should be getting back to the locker room. T.H. is waiting on us and the first match will be starting soon.

The camera backs up as Griffen slips an arm possessively around Hawke and they walk back the way he came. Trine follows a few moments later, his red-taped hands curled into fists.

A snare drum kicks on into "Live To Win" as the screen explodes to start;



{Paul Stanley}

Frustrated
Degraded
Down before you're done

Rejection
Depression
Can't get what you want


The logo fades and and we're launched directly into a montage of TKOW 05-06 spots, focusing on wrestlers currently in the federation. Phoenix, Tobias Burden, Bob Lancelot, Matt Griffen, Aello, Carpenter, Lady Hawke, Jace Mingla, Dan "Cypher" Kilburn, Adrian Tanner, Jr. and Johnathon Doberman. Shots of them all fly by, both spot shots as well as promo shots.

{Paul Stanley}

You ask me how I make my way
You ask me everywhere and why
You hang on every word I say
But the truth sounds like a lie


*Carpenter hitting Claire with a sick brainbuster from a ladder through a flaming table.*

{Paul Stanley}

Live to win
Till you die
Till the light dies in your eyes
Live to win
Take it all
Just keep fighting till you fall


*Matt pushes off with his good leg and starts to fall, twisting as he goes. Cameras continue to click as both men fall twenty feet. In the air, Matt continues to turn, and HITS A SUPER DIVE BOMB FROM NEAR THE TOP OF THE CAGE!! Both men hit with an amazing amount of force, bouncing them off the mat, Griffen going up nearly a foot, and THE CORNER OF THE RING COLLAPSES UNDER THEM!!*

{Paul Stanley}

Obsessive
Compulsive
Suffocate your mind

Confusion
Delusions
Kill your dreams in time


*Carpenter draws back and decks Celine Dion. The Harpy steps back and SHE decks Celine Dion.*

{Paul Stanley}

You ask me how I took the pain
Crawled up from my lowest low
Step by step and day by day
Till there's one last breath to go


*Fly grabs the ropes, bends down, then leaps up into the air and comes crashing down with a double foot stomp to the ribs of Phoenix*

{Paul Stanley}

Live to win
Till you die
Till the light dies in your eyes
Live to win
Take it all
Just keep fighting till you fall


*Carpenter heads back for Griffen who goes for the Claw Crush but Carpenter manages to change his momentum and catch his feet on the pipe supports in the flames and pushes off, pulling Matt off balance and off the scaffolding. Flash bulbs go off as both men tumble around one another in the air toward the Nippon table, which breaks on impact with a sickening ~THUD-CRACK!~ with Griffen on bottom. *

{Paul Stanley}

Day by day
Kickin' all the way
I'm not cavin' in
Let another round begin
Live to win

YEAH
LIVE
YEAH
WIN


*The Advanced Human stalks Kid as he slowly regains his feet, then sucide dives between the second and thrid ropes, right into Kid's face, sending both men sprawling down the rampway and towards the ladder!*

{Paul Stanley}

Live to win
Till you die
Till the light dies in your eyes
Live to win
Take it all
Just keep fighting till you fall


*Phoenix positions Soulfly facing away from him and climbs the ropes, all the way to the top, breaths in, drops the chain, hauls Soulfly up to his shoulder, falls, twists, and Death Pyre into the fiery pit below!*

{Paul Stanley}

Day by day
Kickin' all the way
I'm not cavin' in
Let another round begin
Live to win


*Mirrored images of Phoenix and Tobias sailing Coast to Coast on one another.*

{Paul Stanley}

Live to win


*Burden drops to his feet, pulls Salazar down, lifts him up for a powerbomb, and leaps off the stage with the Rubix Cube crashing through a hot dog vendor!*

{Paul Stanley}

Live to win


*Griffen points at Carpenter and pulls Phoenix all the way back to the opposite cage wall. He points again, and starts running Phoenix, getting them both up to full speed and SHOTPUTS HIM into the cage wall-

-which finally GIVES WAY!! The top hinge SNAPS and the wall swings out, causing Phoenix to twist and fall outside to the floor!!*

{Paul Stanley}

YEAH
LIVE
YEAH
WIN


*Phoenix standing on the top of the Prince of Hell structure, TKOW Title in hand.*

The camera pans around the inside of the Humphrey Coliseum in Starkville, Mississippi, showing a sold out crowd at a fever pitch. Fireworks explode off the stage, highlighting the five-piece KhaosTron.

Yuri Testkov: WELCOME TO MASS KHAOS~!

The crowd whistles, screams and waves all manner of signs for their favorite wrestlers and/or stables as the different cameras pan through the arena.

Tito Poppi: Good evening everyone and welcome to tonight's Mass Khaos! We're coming to you from the Humphrey Coliseum in Starkville, Mississippi. As you can hear, the crowd is raring for us to get started.

Tito smiles, apparently very happy.

Tito Poppi: You know, it's nice being able to say something and not get shot down for it. I like it!

I'm betting tonight will be full of surprises, starting out with what our backstage camera and Matt Griffen interrupted just a few minutes ago. Makes you wonder just what kind of past Trine and Lady Hawke share doesn't it? Apparently Matt didn't like what he came across there. Hopefully the rest of the night will be on a happier note... at least for some people!

We'll get started with the show in just a few minutes, as soon as the first of our trial announcers gets himself out here. I'm soooooo hoping someone will be good. Otherwise, I'm in biiiiiig trouble! Power has kept it secret from everyone, including me, who will be sitting in this seat *pats the back of the chair next to him* tonight, so I'm just as much in the dark as all of you are. I know one thing though, they can't be any worse than Styles! *gulping and speaking under his breath* I hope.

We'll cut-

"Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin suddenly blares over the PA. "The Android" Johnathan Doberman walks out in a gray style camo. OWL follows suit. Johnathan stands in the ring as OWL heads to ringside. He pulls a piece of paper out of his coat and drops it at Tito's table.

Tito: What's this?

OWL: My resume!

Tito: For?

OWL: The open announcer's position!

Tito: Okay...

OWL grabs a mic and hands it to Johnathan as Tito looks over the resume.

Tito: Wow, this guy's credentials are good... He's been commentating for what?! Twenty years! He's only 33! He'd have to be doing this since age 13! This is obviously wrong, but he does have good references...

Johnathan: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have come out here to address a man, who some may think is an 'unfit' father for a child who currently has cancer. Being a father myself, I definitely know how to raise a kid. I must say, my own son has turned out great, but, under the mindset Mister Jace Mingla is currently in, and his past history, I am led to believe he is an unfit father. I mean, look at the guy. He's obsessed with taking out T.H. Power. Can Jace really support a child if he's so busy obsessing over destroying another man. Is this a father you want? On who wouldn't spend time with you so he could take out his enemies? Who really should come first, people? Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to announce that I have filed a lawsuit against Jace Mingla under the conditions of child neglect. Thank you.

OWL takes the mic.

OWL: This message has been brought to you by Doberman Incorporated. If Communist John makes a fart and you don't like it, we'll sue his green penis ass to fucking Mars. Thank you.

"Immigrant Song" hits again as Johnathan and OWL make their way to the back.

Tito: I know Jace isn't the best guy in the world, but this IS his kid we're talking about here. He's trying everything to help his son, even if it does seem crazy. Does he really deserve to have him taken away? Is this the right thing to do? Looks like the night really is full of surprises. We'll be right back with the first match in a few minutes. Stay tuned!

Geeze... a lawsuit against Mingla? I don't think I want to be around when he finds out...

**commercial**

[TKOW Board]

Tito: Well, well, well….Hoops Jackson!

The image reveals a very well dressed Hoops Jackson taking a seat next to Tito. He’s wearing a black suit and purple tie, his hair done up neatly in cornrows. He’s also sporting some wicked looking wrap around sunglasses.

Tito: I gotta say Hoops, I’ve never seen you looking this stylish.

Hoops: Well, get used to it Poppi. Because what you are bearing witness to is Hoops Jackson Version 2.0, baby!

Tito: Hoops 2.0…?

Hoops: Damn straight! Because when Styles got his skinny ass fired, I had an epiphany. I realized that I….HOOPS JACKSON….have been around in TKOW for even longer than many of our wrestling Megastars. I have interviewed the best of the best…from RAGE to Khaos, Samhain to Soulfly, and even Phoenix once or thrice! It’s about damn time I got a promotion! And mark my words Tito, tonight might just be a tryout, but this seat is mine!

Tito: Well, Hoops, you sound very confident, I’ll give you that.

Hoops: I’m forming an ass groove in this chair as we speak!

Tito: That was entirely too much info…

Suddenly, the stage erupts in twin gouts of flame!

Tito: Anyway, time for the first match of the night!

Yuri Testkov: INTRODUCING FIRST, REPRESENTING THE CHURCH OF PAIN AND SUFFERING AND WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 485 POUNDS… CARPENTER AND TKOW CHAMPION PHOOOOOEEEEENIIIIIXXXXX!

The crowd appears confused, although many begin to boo.

Tito: WHAT THE HELL?! The TKOW CHAMP is OPENING the show?!?!!

Hoops: He must have REALLY pissed off T.H. Power....

"Freak" by Flipp kicks in over the speakers...

{Jack Nicholson}
(Yeah. Wait'll they get a load of me...)

A shot of Carpenter, The Metatron, and Phoenix sitting on the stone throne appears on the 'tron.

GO!

A large circle of fire lights on the right side of the stage.

{Flipp}
I remember my high school teacher
She used to say I was a high school creature
And now my boss, says I am a lost cause
Some things are not what they seem
That's why they call me a freak
Yeah I don't wanna be like anybody else
That's why they call me a freak
Yeah I don't wanna be like everybody else
That's why they call me a freak
I asked my therapist if there was a cure
For people scared and actin' insecure
They treat me like a virus
They beat me to my knees
They treat me like a social disease

A throne begins to rise from circle. Phoenix is sitting on it, hands clasped underneath his chin. The Metatron stands to his right, the TKOW Title around his waist and holding his Rosary, while Carpenter is on the left, carrying Phoenix's bat.

I was always afraid of walking home everyday
Those creeps would beat me up and take my money away
They make me feel like a loser
No matter what I did
I was just your average fucked up kid
That's why they call me a freak
Yeah I don't wanna be like anybody else
That's why they call me a freak
Yeah I don't wanna be like everybody else
That's why they call me a freak
FREAK!

Carpenter jumps over the flames, holding the bat up to the heavens, taking in the jeers of the crowd.

FREAK!

The 'tron shows Phoenix and Matt Griffen going through the mat at MegaBowl V.

FREAK!

The 'tron shows Phoenix stretching out Tobias Burden with The Rings.

FREAK!

The 'tron shows Carpenter punching out Celine Dion.

(There is nothing worse than the sound)
(Of the tears of a clown)
(When there is no one around)

The 'tron shows Phoenix and Carpenter on the stage at MegaBowl V holding the TKOW Title.

That's why they call me a freak
Cuz i don't wanna be like anybody else
That's why they call me a freak

I'm all alone in a crowd
I want to shout it out loud
The voices inside my head
Don't hear a thing that you said
They tell me where you can go
I think you already know
That you're the one who is weak
That's why they call me a freak

The Metatron takes up position at ringside as Carpenter takes his position in the corner. Phoenix walks over to his brother and grabs the back of his head, bringing him close so he can whisper something in his ear.

Tito: Phoenix really doesn't look very happy at the moment.

Hoops: When WAS the last time he was happy? Back before the Church when he tossed Griffen his title and ran out of the locker room chasing out after Aello sometime in the year before?

Tito: What?

Hoops: What man could forget her walking away in that teeny mini skirt that just screams out for a man to... wait... YOU DID!!

Tito: …

Jackson slaps the table as he laughs at Tito.

Yuri Testkov: AND THEIR OPPONENTS... WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 554 POUNDS... NICK COLLYER AND “THE IRISH BASTARD” SPANKY MCPIPEBOOOOOOOMB!

"Danny Boy" hits as explosions occur on either side of entrance ramp. Spanky emerges through Goldberg-esque sparklers.

The start of "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Johnny Cash starts. The crowd starts to buzz.

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

A somber Nick Collyer appears in his solid black tights with "Absolute Zero" "Betrayed" "Butcher" "Sick Nick" and other things written up and down the legs in bone white. He is wearing an open black hooded robe with gold fringe, with the hood is over his head. A Singapore Cane is held in his right hand, he holds it firm, but with his arm loose at his side.

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Spanky and Nick make their way down the ramp to the ring. Nick ignores the fans reaching out to touch him, but he doesn't shy away from the contact either.

Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee
He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John go do My will!"

Nick climbs the ring steps, and wipes his feet. He steps between the ropes, and pulls his hood back revealing his pure bleach blonde hair. Spanky follows him in, easing carefully between the top 2 ropes to avoid brushing them against his bandages.

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Nick allows the referee to check his boots, and pulls off his robe, and sets the Singapore Cane in his corner where he knows it's at. The ref then gingerly pats down Spanky.

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Tito: Spanky and Nick hope that there is safety in numbers seeing as how last time the Church caught Spanky on his own and ambushed him in the back, all in an attempt to send a message to Matt Griffen!

Hoops: Why the hell is Spanky doing an impression of The Mummy?

Tito: This has been a tough couple weeks for Spanky. As you know…

Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's down in the dark will be brought to the light

Hoops: ….I don’t think I do know, that’s why I’m asking.

Tito: Okay, as I know, Spanky is a cross-promotional superstar and was recently involved in a match that involved a fairly significant degree of fire.

Hoops: Oh….and he’s facing the Church in this condition?

Tito: Yep!

Hoops: DUMBASS!

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down

Tito: Hey, Spanky has a rep to uphold. He bills himself as a tough old school Irish bastard and I doubt he’ll stand for the beating he got last Mass Khaos!

Hoops: Well, it looks like he’s in for another one whether he likes it or not, because Nick and Spanky are in the ring and it looks like Nick and the champ are starting things off!

Nick gets in the ring and plays it like he’s going to lock up with the champ, but instead hits a quick kick to Phoenix’s abdomen. He irish whips the Fiery Champion into the ropes and tries for a swinging neckbreaker with momentum, but Phoenix grabs Nick in mid air and propels him across the ring and into the ropes!

Hoops: Damn! Champ ain’t goin’ down like that Mr. SWAT! Try again!

Not missing a beat, the merciless Phoenix grabs Nick by the throat and irish whips him into the corner, following just behind with a stiff lariat into the corner that folds Nick up. Phoenix reaches down and grabs hold of Nick’s hair, which draws a quick admonishment from the ref. Still holding Nick’s hair, he starts tagging Nick with closed fists to the face and the ref starts counting Phoenix down towards disqualification!

Tito: That was brutal! Phoenix just beating Nick in the face…no finesse there, just dishing out pure suffering!

Hoops: That’s why it ain’t called “The Church of Rainbows and Kittens” Poppi! Oh…look at that!

Nick starts trying to fight out of the corner, getting to his knees and throwing some rights and lefts to Phoenix’s abdomen, but Phoenix responds with a brutal Mongolian chop to Nick’s skull!

Tito: That’ll rattle the old noodle!

Phoenix picks Nick up again and and goes to hit a belly to belly suplex on Nick, launching Nick into his own corner. When Nick lands, Spanky hits the blind tag to get in on the action, and he’s fuming mad!

Hoops: Lets see if Spanky can last longer than he did last Mass Khaos.

Tito: That was an ambush, Hoops.

Hoops: Hey, if he’s half as tough as he says he is he shoulda put up more of a fight, eh?

McPipebomb rushes Phoenix and starts peppering his midsection with lefts and rights, pushing him into his corner. Carpenter hits the tag on his brother and Spanky doesn’t see it, so Carpenter takes the opportunity to hit a blindside shot to Spanky’s head with a closed fist! Rocked, Spanky takes a moment to recollect himself, but Carpenter is on him, punching him again before barreling him off his feet and hitting a brutal spinebuster on the Irish Bastard. Then, Carpenter lays out Spanky across his knee and Phoenix, who still hadn’t left the ring, takes advantage and lands a legdrop across Spanky’s throat as Carpenter holds him over his leg! Spanky lands awkwardly on his neck and the ref orders Phoenix to the corner. The champion eyes the ref menacingly before complying.

Tito: Thank God the ref stood his ground and ended the double team.

Carpenter stands menacingly over Spanky, and in a flash goes to work on removing the bandages covering Spanky’s burns!

Tito: I wouldn’t want to be Spanky right now, who knows whats going on in Carpenters sick mind!

Carpenter throws the bandages out of the ring and starts booting Spanky viciously on his burns, drawing cries of pain from the Irish Bastard. Spanky claws to a neutral corner and drags himself up, trying to cover his wounded skin, which is now bleeding in places. Carpenter lands a wicked chop to Spanky’s chest, smattering another burn, but Spanky has had enough, and he realizes its fight or die! Spanky lands a stiff elbow to Carpenter’s face, making his mask ring from the impact, and using his brute strength and weight advantage, he drives Carpenter into the opposite corner and starts shoulder ramming him in the gut. Spanky relents, grimacing, and grabs Carpenter by the head, irish whipping him into the corner. Spanky goes to charge him, but Carpenter counters by lifting him up and snake eyesing him on the ring post!

Hoops: Spanky’s already an ugly mo-fo, and that won’t help!

Tito: It seems the Church is firmly in control of this match so far.

Carpenter goes to the top rope and hits his patented flying head butt on Spanky, splitting open Spanky’s cheek and sending some blood dribbling onto the mat.

Tito: Spanky’s looking really bad here…no major wounds, but the blood loss from a series of minor ones could add up.

Seeing blood in the water, Carpenter leaps on the Irish Bastard and tries to lock in an ankle lock, but on pure instinct Spanky kicks out and rolls outside. Carpenter follows him out and runs up behind him, slamming Spanky face first into the ring post. With that damage done, Carpenter picks Spanky up and brutally whips Spanky into the ring steps, sending Spanky arcing up and over the steps with the force of the impact. At this point Phoenix hops down from the apron, aiming to do some damage of his own, but Nick runs in with the save, dropping a running forearm to Phoenix’s back to distract him. Phoenix turns on Nick, blocks another punch, and hits an uppercut to Nick’s jaw. The ref steps outside to gain some control and get in between Nick and Phoenix, leaving Carpenter free to do what he wants to Spanky!

Tito: Turn around ref, turn around!!

Carpenter grabs the bandages he threw out of the ring earlier and wraps them around Spanky’s throat, choking him and dragging him on the outside! With the bandages still wrapped around his opponent’s neck, Carpenter starts kicking Spanky, pulling on the bindings the whole time to reduce oxygen flow, and finally the ref sees this and orders Carpenter to stop. Carpenter throws Spanky back in the ring and tags in Phoenix.

Hoops: Stupid ass ref calling shananigans! What do we pay these people for?!

Tito: Uh…exactly that, thankfully.

Hoops: Damn, you is a square, Poppi!

Phoenix picks Spanky up and places him in a gutbuster position, and he proceeds his assault, dropping Spanky down with gutbuster after gutbuster, injuring the burns even further. Finally, Phoenix flips Spanky onto his back with disdain and goes for the pin.

1…

2…

NO! Spanky kicks out.

Phoenix sits back on his heels and shakes his head. The camera overhears Phoenix say “Shoulda stayed down…” before he starts raining fists down on Spanky’s head. Phoenix picks Spanky up and heaves him up into a running powerslam position. Phoenix starts running but Spanky slips out. Phoenix wheels around and Spanky goes for a superkick, but Phoenix blocks and grabs Spanky’s foot, so Spanky counters by dropping to his back, grabbing Phoenix’s head and monkey flipping Phoenix over him!

Tito: He’s still got some fight!

Hoops: Yeah, I guess…but I can tell from the amount of blood that the tank is running dry.

Spanky uses this moment to lunge for his corner and hit the tag on Nick. Nick comes into the ring, but Phoenix is already on his feet. Nick goes low with a dropkick to Phoenix’s knee, but Phoenix sidesteps and swats him aside, responding with an elbow drop, and then another, and another in very quick succession. Phoenix wastes no time grappling Nick up, but Nick surprises Phoenix with a Uraken Back Fist to Phoenix’s throat. Phoenix stumbles and Nick follows through with an attempt at a floating neckbreaker, but Phoenix gets his hand up and under Nick and holds him up in an amazing feat of strength, placing him on the top turnbuckle. Nick throws a couple of back elbows at Phoenix as Phoenix attempts to climb up behind him. Phoenix drops off the turnbuckle and Nick positions himself for a moonsault… Nick takes flight!!

Tito: NICK COLLYER GOIN’ FOR BROKE…

BUT PHOENIX CATCHES HIM IN MID-FLIGHT! With one swift motion he hefts Nick up and drills him with the Phoenix driver! The top of Nick’s head smashes into the mat and Phoenix places his hands on Nick’s chest with a somewhat nonchalant cover.

1…

2…

3!

Tito: It’s over!

Hoops: Yeah, Nick went for broke and his broke ass paid for it!

Tito: That finish was out of nowhere!! The Church definitively victorious here tonight. Spanky was just too spent and Nick couldn’t match the champ’s power on this night!

Damn... I still can't believe the Champ opened the show... What's going to happen next? I'm sure someone's going to pay for this...

**COMMERCIAL**

[TKOW Board]

*The opening bars of Black Stone Cherry’s "Shooting Star" reverberate.*

VOICE OVER: A brutality cage full of weapons.

*Quick flashes of black and white stills of all the brutality cages in HPWA and TKOW history appear on the screen.*

VOICE OVER: Two men.

*Flashes of black and white stills of TKOW Champ Phoenix and Matt Griffen in various poses and scenes throughout their wrestling careers in and out of HPWA and TKOW; furious, angry, bodies bloody, broken… victorious, each holding up titles won.*

Well, I've seen your evil ways
And your corrupting mind
Lay the hourglass over
So we don't waste our time

VOICE OVER: Matt Griffen.

*A black and white montage of Griffen in action.*

Now throw your burdens out
And throw your heart to me
I don't know what'll come
We'll have to wait and see

VOICE OVER: TKOW “Fiery” Champion, Phoenix.

*A black and white montage of Phoenix in action*

Like a shooting star
And you're falling from me
As you fade away
My heart skips a beat

VOICE OVER: At one time the best of friends in and out of the ring.

*Black and white shots of Griffen and Phoenix in and out of the ring teamed up fighting opponents intermixed with them joking and carrying on as friends outside of wrestling.*

I know you're down on love
But we can love again
So open up
Come on invite me in

VOICE OVER: A friendship… trust between men… almost brothers…

*Black and white shot of a Section 8 locker room--Aello in a white mini skirt and cut-off sleeveless sweatshirt walking out the door, hurriedly followed by Phoenix after he tosses the TKOW “Fiery” title over Griffen’s shoulder.*

Now throw your burdens out
And throw your heart to me
I don't know what'll come
We'll have to wait and see

VOICE OVER: Broken…

*Various black and white shots of Phoenix and Carpenter threatening Griffen and Section 8 members, interspersed with shots of Phoenix and Griffen facing off in and out of the ring.*

Like a shooting star
And you're falling from me
As you fade away
My heart skips a beat

VOICE OVER: They met at MegaBowl V.

*Black and white flashes of their first round Firestarter match in the cage, including the super dive bomb from near the top of the cage with the corner of the ring collapsing under them and Griffen shot putting Phoenix into the cage wall and the side giving way with Phoenix falling out for the win.*

Well, I've seen your evil ways
And your corrupting mind
Lay the hourglass over
So we don't waste our time

VOICE OVER: It wasn’t enough.

*A quick black and white montage of their last several Mass Khaos matches plus shots from the recent Prince of Hell match where they’re going all out against one another.*

Like a shooting star
And you're falling from me
As you fade away
My heart skips a beat

VOICE OVER: Now they’re to have it out once and for all in the Brutality Cage.

*More black and white flashes of an empty brutality cage filled with an assortment of weapons, some strapped to the walls.*

I'm a howlin' wolf
You're a shooting star
Yes, I am
You're a shooting star

VOICE OVER: Who will emerge the TKOW Champion?

*A split screen of Phoenix on the left and Griffen on the right, each standing victorious in a brutality cage.*

Yes, I am

VOICE OVER: Will Phoenix retain or will TKOW have a…

*The banner darkly fades in slowly, the TKOW logo in the top left first becoming visible, then the entire thing suddenly flashing into full view and color as the rising sun breaks over the horizon in it.*




VOICE OVER: COMING SOON!

The banner fades out and the shot focuses back on Tito sitting at the announce table.

Tito: New Era! It won't be long until it's here! As you just saw, that will be when TKOW "Fiery" Champion Phoenix and Matt Griffen have it out in the brutality cage for the title! T.H. Power will also be announcing the winner of the open announce position at the opening of that show and... it just so happens that I have another new face joining me now for the tryouts–Neil Nerderson!

The camera pulls back and pans to the side, showing Tito and his trial announce partner Neil Nerderson. Neil is dressed in a white shirt with a blue bow-tie. In his top pocket he has several pens. He wears a pair of brown trousers with a crease down the leg. The trousers ride high on his ankles revealing white sports socks.

Neil: It’s mighty nice of you to have me here! I sure am looking forward to calling this next match up. Heh *snort* ha!

Tito: Well it’s nice to have you here…

The ‘Tron flickers to life as the music cues to life simultaneously. The sound is like a synthesized banjo, a strange sounding “twang” that one gets the sense is building to something ominous. Some might recognize the song as “The Devil’s Rejects” by Rob Zombie. Suddenly, the top of the stage is bathed in massive gouts of blue and black flame. The ‘Tron shows grainy black and white images of militia and military shock troopers marching in lockstep… from Communist Gestapo to Nazi SS are shown, all interspersed with each other and serving as a tribute to flagrant abuse of power. That’s when the lyrics kick in…

I am the bad one,
Distant and cruel one,
I am the dream that,
Keeps you running down,
With distraction,
Violent reaction,
Scars of my actions,
Watch me running out,

The song gets harder and by now the fire is creating a great deal of smoke at the top of the ramp way. Nonetheless, a large figure can be seen inside it, partially obscured…

Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
The Devil's Rejects [x2]

The video on the big screen is slowly getting more and more violent, slipping back and forth between the historical stock footage mentioned before and scenes of modern violence amidst the urban landscape. Yet, there is still more, because to the keen eye…interspersed amongst this collage of tragedy are brief flashes of other unrelated images…

….images of the devil…

Yeah, I am the brains,
Some say insane,
Blood is the rain,
That's what life's about,
In the great wide,
Head split and tongue tied,
Watch the sun die,
When you're running out,

The man in the smoke is starting to step to the fore, and the closer he gets the more obvious it becomes how powerfully built he is…

Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.

The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects

With a massive explosion of fire, the blue and black flames create a wall of pyro, a twisting morass of heat and sickly looking fire. As soon as it flashes to life the wall fades…leaving a man standing visible at the edge of the smoke….

Yeah I am the knuckle,
Bow down and buckle,
Hold your breath,
Your world is running down,
Live for the family,
Die with the family,
All is the family,
My gun is running out,


….Jace Mingla steps out from the cloud, trailing tendrils of smoke just behind him and giving the illusion that he has just stepped out of darkness itself. He makes his way down to the ring with a quiet menace and air of authority.

Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.

Jace slinks into the corner, arms clutching the ropes and waits for the match to begin.

The crowd boos heavily, throwing trash toward Mingla.

Tito: Mingla looking “icy,” tonight and the crowd really letting Mingla know how they feel about him.

Yuri Testkov: AND HIS OPPONENT, FROM LAFAYETTE LOUISIANA, STANDING SIX FEET ONE INCH AND WEIGHING TWO HUNDRED AND ELEVEN POUNDS, CYYYYYPHERRRRRR~!

ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man” hits the speakers and Dan “Cypher” Kilburn steps out from behind the curtains to a mixed reaction of the crowd and makes his way to the ring. Cypher backs away a few steps and runs toward the ring and baseball slides his way to the ring, doing a 180 while he's on the mat. Cypher stands and makes his way to the middle turnbuckle and poses for the crowd with two fingers out on each side and poses shaped like a cross with his arms straight out. Cypher then runs to the other turnbuckle and climbs to the middle turnbuckle with the same pose. He climbs to the top turnbuckle and does a backflip to the center of the ring. Cypher eyes his opponent and stares him down as he does some warm-up on his legs.

Tito: Dan “Cypher” Kilburn letting the crowd know he's ready to face his opponent. He's here without his adorable cousin Shion Hikari. Sad to say, the young lady suffered a brutal attack from a radical Christian wrestler and friends at another federation’s show not too long ago. She’s in the hospital. The worst, her attackers had HER arrested for assault! Imagine that crap. That little lady would never do something like that and now Cypher will have to go this match without his private cheering section tonight.

Mingla gets to his feet as Kilburn straightens.

Tito: Mingla is first to start things off!

Mingla locks up with Cypher and the two tussle around the ring before Mingla takes Cypher’s leg and drops him to the mat.

Neil: Mingla showing his speed! Heh *snort* ha!

Jace plays to the crowd, earning their hatred, as Cypher quickly gets up, slightly embarrassed. The two men lock up again, but Jace gets the leg again! Cypher falls down again, but is up quickly and the two lock up again. They move around the ring a little. Jace goes for Cypher’s leg once more, but Cypher blocks it and rolls Mingla up into a small package.

1…

2…

Mingla kicks out!

Neil: Cypher got Mingla back for that one! Heh *snort* ha!

Tito: Do you have a problem?

Neil: It’s just my sinuses! Heh *snort* ha!

Tito: Right…

Mingla is up quickly from the small package and he sweeps Cypher off his feet with a chop block to the back of his leg! Mingla then starts to work on Cypher with some stiff kicks to his right leg and knee.

Tito: Mingla is obviously targeting Cypher’s legs.

Neil: If he can’t walk he can’t fight! Heh *snort* ha!

Mingla gets on Cypher and locks his leg, tugging it backwards in a vice. Cypher yells in pain, but reaches the ropes and the referee forces Mingla to break the hold.

1…

2…

3…

4…

Tito: Mingla using the five count to its fullest!

Mingla releases at the last second. Cypher tries to get to his feet, but Mingla runs and hits a baseball slide drop kick into Cypher’s legs and knocks him out of the ring.

Neil: The action is going to the outside! Heh *snort* ha!

Mingla rams Cypher’s face into the guard rail as the referee starts his ten count!

Tito: Sure is!

1…

Mingla tries once more to hit Cypher into the guard rail, but Cypher blocks it and slams Mingla face first into the rail! He grabs a chair, and swings, only Mingla deflects it. However, Cypher in dropping the chair, Cypher nails a kick and knocks him face first into the barrier!

2…

Cypher takes the time to open and place the chair, then follows that up by hitting Mingla with a DDT to it!

3…

Mingla rolls over to the floor, only to have time to see Kilburn on his way with a moonsault from the barrier! He doesn’t have time to roll out of the way!

Tito: A mini Crucifix Moonsault!

4…

Cypher pulls Mingla up for a suplex, but Mingla leg sweeps him face first into the turnbuckle post.

Neil: This action is amazingly brilliant! I can’t wait for some of the other great matches that are going to happen tonight! Heh *snort* ha!

5…

Tito: Well you better get used to this kind of action, son. It’s what TKOW is all about!

Mingla attempts to lock in a figure-4 leg lock on Kilburn’s right leg, but Kilburn kicks at Mingla and rolls to the side. Mingla follows him, attempting to stomp him.

6…

Neil: I’m looking forward to seeing Lancelot versus Tanner! Heh *snort* ha! I want to see Claire’s Weapons of Mass Distraction! Heh *snort* ha!

As Dan rolls past the corner, Mingla hops up on the apron and right off with a leg drop, connecting with Kilburn’s chest!

7…

Tito: Have you ever seen a pair of breasts before?

Mingla gets to his feet, only to have Kilburn trip him into the barrier!

Neil: Geez! I do have the internet… God! You are so 1984! Heh *snort*ha! Besides everyone knows if you fold page 14 slash 15 of Spiderman Issue 143 in half and turn it upside down you actually see a picture of Mary Jane naked, sheesh! Heh *snort* ha!

8…

Kilburn staggers to his feet, favoring his leg, grabs Jace and rams his face into the barrier again for good measure!

9…

Cypher shoves Mingla back to the apron and rolls him into the ring, following him in!

Tito: Right…. I’ll have to take a look later….but now ….back to the action…..

Cypher works on Mingla with several kicks to the back and then lifts him up and hits a suplex and covers.

1…

2…

Kickout!

Cypher gets back on Mingla and locks him in a camel clutch. Mingla screams in pain as Cypher pulls back tightly.

Neil: It looks like Jace has passed out! Heh *snort* ha!

The referee raises Mingla’s hand. It drops. He raises it again. It drops. The referee raises it a third time…..Jace keeps it up!

Tito: Jace is still in this thing!

Neil: Dammit! Heh *snort* ha!

Mingla slowly backs out of the camel clutch, but Cypher attempts to keep it on, but can’t once Jace touches the ropes. The ref tells Kilburn to let Mingla go.

1…

Kilburn argues.

Neil: *snort snort*

2…

3…

Neil: *snort snort*

He then releases and steps away. Mingla takes the opportunity to punch Kilburn in the back of the leg he’d previously worked over, dropping him to a knee.

Tito: Would you please stop that?!

Neil: What? Heh *snort* ha!

Jace climbs to his feet with the ropes as Kilburn regains his own footing. Jace goes for a bulldog, but Kilburn hip tosses him. Jace catches himself in the ropes and turns, only to be speared through the ropes to the floor! The crowd pops hard.

Tito: Oh for God’s sake, Power, please don’t hire this jackass!

Neil: Hey!! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me! Heh *snort* ha!

Tito: Look what you made me miss! Kilburn speared Mingla right through the ropes!

Mingla throws Cypher off, getting to his feet slowly. Cypher lays in with a few rights and left, but Mingla blocks them easily. He steps in and rams Cypher’s head into the steps, making them ring! Mingla pulls Kilburn up, and DDTs him down onto them again for good measure. The ref starts the count again.

1…

Tito: Damn! Kilburn just got payback for earlier!

Neil: They should put covers on them like they do for the *snort* turnbuckles!

2…

Tito: …

Kilburn rolls on the floor, clutching his head. Mingla coldly follows him and grabs him, pulling him up, trying to slam his head into the apron, but Dan gets his arms up and catches himself. Mingla goes for a hard chop to Kilburn’s neck and then sweeps his feet out from under him, but Kilburn manages to grab the ropes to keep from falling.

3…

Kilburn holds on and draws both feet under him, then double mule kicks Mingla in the gut, driving him back into the barrier and over it!

4…

Dan goes after Mingla, who gets to his feet and hops over the rail with a dropkick to the chest, taking Cypher right back down!

5…

Both men take their time getting up.

Tito: Geeze! They’re really having a go at one another. At this rate, there’s no way to tell who’s going to get the fall!

6…

Neil: You know, *snort* I never understood why they call them *snort* falls.

7…

The two men glare at one another’s bloody faces, each using the apron to pull themselves up.

8…

They both roll under the ropes and back into the ring, laying on the mat for a minute to rest. The two men use their remaining strength to get to their feet, Kilburn limping badly as he takes a step toward Mingla. Mingla grins.

Tito: Cypher’s leg is a real liability now and Mingla knows it!

Kilburn quickly rushes “Iceheart,” attempting to whip him into the far ropes, but instead, gets whipped himself with a sudden burst of adrenaline from Mingla! Mingla stumbles to a knee and Cypher comes off the ropes with a shining wizard style kick to the head of Mingla, but Mingla ducks it and catches Cypher’s leg!

Tito: Oh no! Mingla has the leg he has been working on all through the match!

Mingla reverses Cypher over and locks in the Liberation leg lock on the injured leg!

Neil: Cypher would have to be stronger than The Thing to break this lock! Heh *snort* ha!

Tito: Yeah….

Cypher yells in pain as Mingla tightens the hold and eventually Cypher taps!

Neil: Oh golly! I knew Cypher would tap! Heh *snort* ha! He is no Clark Kent! Heh *snort* ha!

Tito: ... Well, Neil, it's been nice having you here. Say goodbye to everyone before we go to another commercial break.

Neil: This is Neil Nerderson saying Saya uh... sayan.... Heh *snort* ha! Goodbye! Heh *snort* ha!

Neil waves vigorously to the camera, a goofy grin on his face and STILL snorting as the shot goes to....

**COMMERCIAL**

[TKOW Board]

Tito: Okay folks, we’re just waiting for the next match to be announced and the person…

Tito sees a tall, casually dressed, overweight guy walking out from under the stage, a sandwich in one hand and a drink in the other. A backstage pass hangs around his neck. The man takes a bite of the sandwich and saunters over to the announce table while waving at the audience.

Tito: …who’s suppose to assist me to call the next match.

Man: Hey, Tito! You know, they got decent food backstage tonight!

The man sets his food on the table and sits down, putting on the headset.

Tito: Excuse me. But are you lost?

Man: Boy, you just saw me sit down here and put on this thing. *points to headset* What should that tell you?

Tito gets a why-is-Power-putting-me-through-this expression as the man takes a swig of his drink and shoves the remainder of the sandwich in his mouth, eating it. The man wipes his hands on his bright orange pin-striped shirt and gulps down his food.

Man: Alright! Let’s get this show on the road! *slams fist on the table* BORING!!

Tito: Uhm… *looking around for security* Would you like to introduce yourself?

Man: That’s right. I nearly forgot! Thanks, Tito!

As the man stands, he slaps Tito hard on the back, making the TKOW regular wince.

Man: Heeellllloooooo TKOW fans! None of you guys know me, but I’m tryin’ out for the position! The name’s Rufus and I’m the next best thing that’s hit TKOW!

Rufus climbs up on the table and flexes his not so well-defined physique then goes into some wanna-be sexy dance moves to the crowd as if he were some hot male stripper. Tito groans, signals to a security guard, pointing at Rufus. The guard radios.

Tito: *barely audible* Why is it always me…

The crowd heckles Rufus, some outright booing him, and some laughing. Rufus stops his gyrations and looks out at the crowd.

Rufus: Shut your faces! You wouldn’t know what’s good if it hit you upside the head! After all you’re here watching TKOW aren’t you?!

The crowd immediately boos and yells back at Rufus, starting to throw trash at him. He flips a few of them off, catches some of the food thrown at him and stuffs it in his mouth, afterward sticking out his tongue and flipping them off yet again. Poppi is laid over on the table with his hands over his head, trying not to get hit by the trash.

Tito: *muffled and exasperated* Rufus, would you please sit down?! Yuri is getting ready to announce the match!

Rufus looks over and sees Yuri with the mic. He steps down into his chair, using Poppi as a support as he makes it to the floor, leaving a food stain on Tito’s shoulder and back.

Rufus: May as well. The food out here sucks anyway.

Rufus licks his fingers as he makes himself comfortable. Tito shudders and looks away from his trial announce partner.

Tito: *quietly* Please, if there’s a god, don’t let it be-

Yuri Testkov: THE FOLLOWING IS A TAG TEAM MATCH SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!! NOW COMING TO THE RING… STANDING 6’4” AND WEIGHING IN AT 265 POUNDS… “THE DEVASTATOR” JAAAAAAAAAAAAACK SUUUULLLIIIVAAAAANNNN!!!!

As the theme "Hate Me" begins to play over the P.A., the arena darkens slightly, and the lights by the entrance flash red and white lights. To the fans, it looks like a black shadowy figure with a flowing robe appears in the heart of the flashing lights. Then the lights stop, and the arena lighting returns to normal as he walks down the ramp with a look of purpose on his face. He doesn't acknowledge the fans at all and he walks up the ring steps and enters the ring. He then gets on the top turnbuckle on the farthest side from the entrance and flashes the double fists in the air (like victory).

Tito: Sullivan coming off a loss to Lady Hawke at last Mass Khaos, after making an impressive showing in the Got Wood? Invitational at Holiday Hell.

Rufus: That Jap boy can’t be any good if he loses to a broad, no matter what he says. Unless he was just being a gentleman to get in good with her so he could fu-

Yuri Testkov: AND HIS TAG PARTNER FOR THIS MATCH UP, STANDING A WHOPPING 7 FOOT 2 INCHES AND WEIGHING IN AT 360 POUNDS…. “THE ANDROID” JOHNATHAN DOBEEERRRRRRMMAAAANNNNN~!!!

“Immigrant Song” hits over the PA as Johnathan Doberman with his manager OWL comes out from behind the curtain.

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.

Johnathan flexes as green pyro goes off.

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green,
Can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war.
We are your overlords.
On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.
So now youd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day
Despite of all your losing.

Android rolls in the ring and sits down in the corner, the crowd giving him a huge pop.

Tito: The Android lost his debut match in TKOW last show, but it wasn’t because he didn’t try. The man has talent! The big guy just had the bad luck of facing-

Rufus: Bad luck? No way, Tito! Mingla just mangled him is what! The guy just didn’t have what it took outwrestle the bad ass-est dude in wrestling today! The chump needs to go back and get reprogrammed to win! *puffing out his chest and flexing* Even I could take those two out, they suck so bad!

Tito: *looking shifty* You know… maybe we can make that happen!

Out of nowhere, lightning crashes into the KhaosTron, causing the screen to spark and smoke. The screen lights up with an aerial shot of a decimated city covered in a light fog. Strange music hits the speakers as the camera flies down and through the streets.

The angle moves from side to side as certain buildings flash silhouettes of familiar grapplers. Within seconds the angle speeds towards the HPWA arena, shrouded in darkness. A silhouette of an '8' slams into the side of the building and light rains down, filtering away the darkness. The rest of the scene fades out as only the following is left...



The music finally continues on becoming 'Meaning of Life' by Disturbed. T.H. Power and Matt Griffen come out on the stage.

Yuri Testkov: MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RING…. THEIR OPPONENTS… REPRESENTING SECTION 8… WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 641 POUNDS… T. H. POWER AND MAAATT GRRRIIIIIFFEEEEEENNNN~!

Tito: Oh... my... god...

Tito drops his head, shaking it.

Rufus: What? They don't do this every entrance? And how is Griffen keeping that fat ass on his shoulder!?!

Griffen staggers and stumbles around on the stage, attempting to carry T.H. Power on his shoulder. Power waves to the crowd with both hands, but to keep from falling, he grabs Griffen's head, covering up his eyes. The crowd breaks loose with a roar of laughter as Griffen can be heard yelling to Power that he can't see, stumbling around even more wildly and nearing the edge of the stage until Power manages to wheel him about as some of the women in the crowd scream out in fear. Griffen finally gets his balance enough to lean forward and let the Boss slide off to his feet once Power tells him to let him down. Griffen huffs and puffs and falls backwards to the stage floor "exhausted."

Tito: No. That was a ripoff of Matt and Lady Hawke's original tag team entrance, with Power pretending to be Hawke. I'd say it's a tough job by the way Griffen's behaving.

Power doesn't notice Griffen at first, playing up to the crowd, but then turns around, sees Griffen and shakes his head. He says something to Griffen and tries to pull Matt to his feet, not succeeding, and finally grabs Griffen by his boots, dragging him across the stage floor to the top of the ramp. Meanwhile, Matt makes all sorts of weird faces at his back to the delight of the crowd, cracking them up even more. Power drops Griffen's feet. He turns around and can be heard saying Matt's had enough rest and it's time to get to work. He assists Matt to his feet, then gives him a light shove that gets Matt about halfway down the ramp. Griffen rubs his shoulder, working the kink out of it, when Power rushes him from behind, grabs his arm and whips him down to the apron.

Rufus: What the hell? Are they gay?!

Tito: No. That whipping Matt down the ramp seems familiar, too...

Griffen turns around stunned, to see Power motioning him to drop to a knee. Griffen eyes him suspiciously, but does. Power limbers up and jogs in place, pointing to his feet, then the ring behind Griffen. Matt's shakes his head vigorously "no," his eyes wide in near panic. Power grins as he skips down the ramp. Griffen closes his eyes, his hands steepled before him as if he's praying. When he opens an eye to peek, he sees Power only a few skips away, heading straight for him! The crowd loves it.

Tito: That's a rip of the former Birds of Prey entrance with Lady Hawke and Aello where Griffen tosses the girls over the... Holy Cow! Surely to goodness Power doesn't expect Matt to toss him in the ring!!!!

Matt winces and lays over on his knee, his hands over his head for protection. The crowd pops hard with laughter as Power stops in front of Matt and props his foot over Matt onto the apron and reties his boot. Matt peeks out when nothing happens and lets out a huge sigh, wiping his brow with exaggerated relief and starts to get to his feet. Power finishes retying his boot and then pantomimes he's going to go back and Matt is to throw him in the ring. Griffen falls over into the floor, "passed out." Power shakes his head and instead struts around the ring and hits on the ladies, while Matt gets up and is his usual unassuming self, shaking and slapping a few hands on his trip around the ring behind the boss before hopping up on the apron in their corner as Power uses the steps.

Tito: What a relief! For a minute there I though Power was going to go through with it!

Power and Griffen get on the apron and Sullivan gives them both a cold glare. The Android steps out, signaling Sullivan may start. After pulling off his black "8" muscle shirt and tossing it to a lucky fan near the ring, Matt steps in, cracking his knuckles.

Tito: Sullivan and Matt starting things off here. If Lady Hawke can take Sullivan out, then it should be a breeze for Matt!

Rufus: Tito, you really don’t know, do you. You’re pathetic. Griffen is a second string player. He’s always been and always will be. Look at him! He’s a big guy, but with all the shots he’s had at Phoenix he’s STILL not been able to take him out.

The men meet in the center of the ring, Sullivan mouthing off to Griffen. He suddenly attempts a high karate kick… but Griffen catches his foot! Sullivan tries to jerk out of it. Griffen releases the foot and steps in, knocking Sullivan down with a hard clothesline! The crowd cheers.

Tito: Now hold on, Rufus. Tell me how many men have managed to defeat the Champ. Nice clothesline counter by Griffen! Very few, that's who! That shows you Matt’s character. He’s not a quitter and he just won't stop until he gets a win over Phoenix!

Rufus: He's an idiot is what.

Griffen glances at Doberman then turns his attention back to Sullivan, who’s back to his feet. Sullivan lands a spinning backhand slap to Griffen’s face, which is jerked to the side. Griffen turns back and blocks another strike with his right and connects with his own left to Sullivan. Sullivan responds with a series of chops, some of them hit so hard the pop of flesh meeting flesh is heard on the announcers’ mics. Griffen retaliates with an occasional strike of his own. On the apron, Power is playing up to the women in the first row.

Rufus: Yeah, buddy!! Griffy-boy’s chest is all red now. You know Sullivan’s puttin’ a hurtin on him! Wus! *standing and cupping his hands around his mouth* What’s the matter GRIFFEN, YOU A CHICKEN?!! BOCK BOCK BOCK!!! *flaps arms*

The crowd boos Rufus and Sullivan as the wrestler lands a belly-to-belly on Griffen after they lock up!

Both men are quickly back to their feet and Sullivan goes for second suplex, but this time Griffen takes control and tosses him nearly half way across the ring! The crowd pops hard. Rufus sits back down, aggravated.

Tito: Griffen showing Sullivan how to do that move right!

Rufus: Only after I called him a chicken!

Tito: Yeah.. riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Griffen rushes Sullivan, but is taken down with a snapmare. Sullivan immediately follows up by locking in a crucifix armbar before Griffen can get up.

Rufus: Break his arm, Devastator!!!

Griffen stretches out his leg and gets his foot on the rope. The ref calls for Sullivan to release the armbar and has to count to four before he does.

Tito: Griffen with good ring awareness. He knew he was within reach of the ropes there!

Rufus: Oh, Please! He’s such a wus! He couldn’t take the pain like a real man! I would NEVER stick my foot on the rope for something like that.

Griffen gets to his feet near the ropes. Sullivan nails him with a karate kick that knocks Griffen into his own corner. As Sullivan follows him in, Power tags in. Griffen catches Sullivan with the Claw Crush while Power climbs the turnbuckle!

Tito: It could be all over right now!!! CLAW CRUSH!

Griffen steps immediately out of the ring and Power leaps off with a top rope frog splash!

Tito: THE LONG SHOT!

Power flattens Sullivan and goes for the pin!

1…

2…

3-

No!! Doberman breaks the pin at the last possible moment!

Tito: Close call, but the “Android” gets the save for his… What are you doing?

Rufus appears to be flagging down a peanut vendor.

Rufus: Hey peanut guy, you got any of those jalepeno ones?

Tito: Are you kidding me, you are supposed to be calling this match!!

Rufus: Would you chill out! JESUS! HEY! NUT GUY!

Tito: Oh for God sakes… Looks like I’m flying solo here…

Back in the ring, Power has gotten Sullivan up and whips him into the corner. He tags Matt back in and Power hits an inverted atomic drop on Sullivan, to which Griffen picks Sullivan up right off of Power’s knee and german suplexes him! Griffen stays on him and after suplexing him rolls over, still locked in. He forces Sullivan to his feet and brings him high up into the air and then down with a stalling brainbuster. But, due to the close proximity to the ropes, Android gets in a quick blind tag. Matt backs off from the corner as per the ref’s instructions so Android can get in.

Tito: These two powerhouses look like their about to lock up. *sarcastically* Hey, did you get your peanuts okay?

Rufus: *oblivious* Yup. Alright, what have we got here. HOLY HELL! It looks like two Godzilla-sized shits are slugging it out in the middle of the ring!

Tito: Could you stop trying to get yourself over for like 10 seconds and call this match? Where did Power find you anyway?

Rufus: Uhh… at the… Awesome Store…

Tito: Wait, what's this…?

Two security guards approach the announce position with a bedraggled nerdy-looking guy wearing a Green Lantern shirt and holding a laptop.

Green Lantern Guy: THERE HE IS! There’s the guy who assaulted me and put me in the broom closet.

Rufus: Oh hell…

The security guards gesture for Rufus to get up.

Security Guard: Sir, you’re not supposed to be here. You’ll have to come with us.

Rufus: Can I bring my nuts?

The security guards pick Rufus up out of his seat without answering and the crowd cheers to see him getting hauled off by security. The Green Lantern guy takes his seat.

Tito: I… I have no idea what just happened…

Green Lantern Guy: That ruffian assaulted me backstage and passed himself off as the commentator for this match.

Tito: Oh thank God, I knew Power couldn’t give a try-out to somebody who sucked that bad. Now, who are you?

Green Lantern Guy: *pushing glasses up* Who am I?! My name is Herbert Anderson of course! I run RealGeniusSmark.com…. only the PREMIER Wrestling Blog and info site on the entire internet. Literally thousands of smart wrestling fans tune into my broadcasts every DAY. I guess it’s not surprising you don’t know who I am… you can’t even tell a Fujiwara Arm Bar from a reverse 360 senton plancha…

Tito: *despairing yet again* …kill me now…

Meanwhile, the Android and Matt Griffen are engaging in a test of strength, and finally the Android wins out! He powers Matt Griffen up and powerslams him to the mat. Android then goes to the mat and cinches in a sleeper!

Herbert: Unquestionably… the most BORING match…. EVER! I bet two brain damaged chimps could put on a better show fighting over a banana WITH THEIR FECES! LITERALLY!

Tito: You just sat down and already you’re criticizing!

Herbert: The smark community is not easily appeased! You have to EARN our respect… preferably in 30 seconds or less. That’s not going to happen with these hosses… I bet they can’t even do two full rotations in mid-air.

Android cinches in the sleeper and Matt knows where this is going. He stretches out with his long limbs and manages to get a foot under the bottom rope, forcing Android to break the hold. Matt and Android get to their feet and Android locks up with Matt again, powering him back into the corner and hitting a series of shoulder thrusts to Matt’s gut with authority before grabbing hold again and beal tossing Matt to the center of the ring. Matt sits up and looks somewhat stunned.

Tito: Regardless of what Herb here might say, that was pretty impressive. It’s very rare to see Matt Griffen get tossed like that.

Herbert: My name is Herbert, Poppi. HERBERT! God… why can’t everyone have a 186 IQ like I do…

Tito: If you’re that smart, couldn’t you be like, curing cancer or something…?

Herbert: No… because, alas, wrestling is my mistress AND my bane!

Tito: Whatever…

Android peppers Matt with some rights and lefts before lifting Matt high up into the air for a military press slam, but Matt drops down behind Doberman and clubs him in the back. Android stumbles but doesn’t fall. Matt tries to then hook Android up for a suplex, but Android powers out, elbowing Matt in the face, wheeling around and trying to lariat him, but Matt dodges, catches the arm and hits a float over DDT on the Android!

Tito: Okay, THAT was good!

Herbert: *pushes up glasses* I’ve seen like 14 guys do it better in Japan…

Tito: Is it too late to get Rufus back?

Herbert: *opening laptop* Yes it is. Now don’t bother me, I’m blogging about how much TKOW sucks while I watch it like I do every week.

Tito: This has got to be a sick joke… It just has to be…

Griffen drops an elbow to the back of the Android’s head for good measure. After planting him, Matt steps back and sizes him up. Waiting for the Android to get to his feet. When he does, Griffen rushes him with a big boot, but Android blocks it, throws Matt’s foot down, pulls him into a bear hug and hits a belly-to-belly slam!

Tito: Android is really impressive here, but Griffen is shelling it out too. I wouldn’t mind seeing a one on one match between these two.

Griffen rolls away from the Android and gets up, but he stands in the rival corner and Sullivan kicks Matt through the ropes. Android doesn’t even see it and Matt lurches forward, right into the Android who hits an arm drag on Matt. Matt gets to his feet and stops short as Android readies another arm drag.

Tito: Called his bluff there!

Matt plows into the Android and actually lifts the big man off his feet, spine bustering him! As he recovers from that move, Android tags in Sullivan while Griffen takes a breather and brings in Power. We hear Power vow to get Sullivan for the cheap shot. Sullivan goes to lock up with Power, but Power stops him short with a savat kick. Power takes advantage and then Irish whips Sullivan, following it up with a huge butt thump in the corner.

Herbert: Oh, are you kidding me? An ASS THUMP?

Tito: Does that not meet the Smark Seal of Approval either?

Herbert just shakes his head and continues typing, looking more and more irrationally angry as he does so.

Power follows up the butt bump by grabbing Sullivan’s head and spiking him with a bulldog in the middle of the ring. Once down, Power then runs to the ropes and hits a big splash on Sullivan, hooking the leg for a pin!

1…

2…

3…

NO! Sullivan barely kicks out. Power looks mildly annoyed and he hoists Sullivan up onto his shoulders, but Sullivan slips out and runs to the ropes. Power turns right as Sullivan looks about ready to connect and meets him with a savage chop that drops Sullivan on his back. Power drops a big leg drop on Sullivan, and then another! Power then tags Griffen in.

Tito: Griffen must still be smarting from that cheap shot.

Griffen picks up Sullivan and Sullivan tries to fight back with a punch, but Griffen just heaves him into the corner and spears him with authority! Sullivan doubles up and then stumbles out of the corner and Matt sets him up in a position for a capture suplex but then he lifts and slams them over his knee.

Tito: PREY BASHER!

Matt goes for the cover!

1…

2…

3!

Tito: Section 8 wins!

Herbert: Well now doesn’t this figure… The boss’ team wins! Could Power try to get himself over at the expense of this company any more than he already is!

Tito: All he did was win a match!

Herbert: He shouldn’t even be in matches. He’s the owner!

Tito: But the fans like to see Power in matches!

Herbert: *screeching* I AM A SMARK! I KNOW WHAT THESE CORN FED IDIOTS WANT!

Tito: Will you please just go away…

Herbert: *pushes up glasses* Gladly. I have A LOT to blog about!

Herbert takes his leave as Matt and Power start passing by the announce position after winning their match. Matt slaps some high fives and Tito calls Power over.

Tito: Did you stick me with that guy just to mess with me?

T.H. Power puts his hand on his chin as though musing for a moment, sticks his finger in the air like he’s about to give a long winded explanation, and then drops his hand.

T.H. Power: Yes.

With that, Power walks off mumbling something about finding Rufus, leaving Tito to sink back into his chair exhausted as Griffen slaps a few final hands and follows Power to the back.

Tito: We'll be right back with the main event... after these messages. Don't go away!

**COMMERCIAL**

[TKOW Board]

Tito Poppi: And here we go folks, the main event for the TKOW Television Championship! In our continuing search for a new color commentator I’m once again joined by a new…

Other voice: Blah-de-blah-blah-blah. Shaddup already and let me talk!

Tito: As I was saying…

Melvyn: And as_I_was saying, shut the hell up! Greetings, the name’s Melvyn, but you might as well call me the NEW face of TKOW Television.

Tito: Well, Mr. Power still has to evaluate everyone else…

Melvyn: Please. Nobody does the bang-up job I do in this chair!

Tito: Well how about we, yknow do ours?

[A haunting voice comes over the P.A.]

"You can’t stop it..."

[A silver 9mm Revolver fades into focus on the Austron. Etched into the side of the gun is the ‘AT’ “Superman” logo.]

"You can’t kill it…”

*Flash* [Adrian Tanner dives off the apron into a shooting star press to the floor on Dan Stein.]

"And it won’t stop coming…."

*Flash* [Adrian nails Sly Fondell with a half-nelson face buster off the top of the House of Destiny.]

"Until your deeeeeaaaaadddd!!”

[BANG! The gun fires, the screen shatters into a million pieces and a lone spotlight strobes on the entrance ramp as the crunching beats of Fear Factory’s “Terminate" replaces the voice.]

“…..Drop…!”

”All that is dead around me”
”Lifeless in the wake of catastrophe”

[Adrian Tanner steps through the curtain, head down, and the crowd explodes in cheers!]

”Burning in my mind I am not deceived”
”Judgment into my own mortality”

[He is dressed in red "metallic effect" shorts with "AT" in gold letters wrapped in the ‘Superman” logo on both sides. He's sporting a matching red sleeveless ring jacket with "AT" encased in a superman logo on the back, his head and top of his face covered by the hood. His outfit is finished off by a pair of black boots, and black elbow/knee pads.]

Yuri Testkov: INTRODUCING FIRST, THE CHALLENGER…

”Now that the soul is free”
”I severed ties of man and machine”

Yuri Testkov: HAILING FROM TUCSON, ARIZONA, AND REPRESENTING TEAM SEVEN...[/COLOR]

[Adrian begins his descent down the ramp as various footage plays on the tron]

”Now that the soul is free”
”I bled my heart of all it can bleed”

[Adrian pinning Triple B to win the SWAT Australian Championship]

”I lit the spark, ignited the fuse”

[Adrian superkicking Jake Porter’s head off his shoulders]

Yuri Testkov: STANDING 6 FOOT, 2 INCHES TALL, AND WEIGHING IN AT 227 POUNDS

”Destroyed the lies and saw absolute truth”

[The Connection holding up their newly won SWAT World Tag Team Championships]

”From out of darkness and into the light”

Yuri Testkov: HE IS THE ARIZONA ASSASSIN....

[Adrian and Andrew Karnage holding up the 2006 Frank A. Marano Cup]

[Adrian stops, halfway down the ramp, still looking downwards.]

”The future is wide open and is on my side”

Yuri Testkov: ADRIAAAAAAANNNN TAAAANNNNERRRR JUUUUNIOOOOR!

[BOOM! Adrian throws his arms out to his side and throws his head back as a huge blast of pyro explodes from the stage behind him. He looks to the ring, smiles and continues his walk.]

”Now that the soul is free”
”I severed ties of man and machine”

[Adrian walks to the end of the ramp, slapping a few hands along the way.]

”Now that the soul is free”
”I bled my heart of all it can bleed”

[Adrian steps through the ropes, heads to the nearest turnbuckle and climbs up. He makes a gun with his left hand, "cocks" and "fires" the "gun" then jumps down, and takes off his ring jacket and continues his pre-match warm-up.]

Tito: Adrian Tanner with his first opportunity at TKOW gold since Holiday Hell 05.

Melvyn: Zzzz…

Tito: He got here by defeating Nick Collyer in the finals of the TKOW Holiday Hell Invitational.

Melvyn: Zzzzz…Mmm…Synnamon pie…

Tito: Tonight he hopes to add to his illustrious Title collection by beating the hell out of the ‘Hardcore Superstar. Melvyn, what the hell are you doing?

Melvyn: Gah! Why the hell did you wake me up?

Tito: Be…cause…we’ve got a match to call…

Melvyn: Match schmatch. I was havin a pretty hot dream too…

Tito: Please, can we be professional here?

Melvyn: I was a professional once.

Tito: And?

Melvyn: Never again, that’s what. Why be a ‘professional’ when I can be me?

Tito: I hate you.

Melvyn: Of course you do. Nobody appreciates my awesomeness.

The lights dim in the arena and "Hardcore" by FEEL blasts through the loud speakers. Bob Lancelot walks through the curtain, he is wearing black tights with orange ligthening bolts on them and no shirt, Claire Matthews follows Bob out to the ring, she is wearing one of her promotional "Weapons of Mass Distraction" T-Shirts and a short black skirt.

Yuri Testkov: FROM OXFORD, ENGLAND..... STANDING FIVE FOOT TEN AND WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED THIRTY POUNDS.... YOUR CURRENT AND DEFENDING TKOW TELEVISIONNNN CHAMPIIIIOOONNNNNNN.... BOOOOOOOOB LANNNNNNCCCCEEEEELLLLLLLLOOOOTTT~!

Bob slides under the bottom rope and climbs the far right turnbuckle. He then hops of the turnbuckle and turns to face Tanner.

They go to lock up, Tanner feigns and takes Lancelot down with a drop toe hold and locks on a side headlock. Tanner quickly turns it into an arm-lock.

Tito: Adrian Tanner has trained with some of the best in the business. He’s adept in almost any form of combat you could imagine thanks to that training.

Melvyn: Training shmaining. Let’s see some action! C’mon Andy! Rip the other guy’s arm off and beat him with it!

Tito: His name’s Adrian, and that’s just sick!

Melvyn: Do I look like I care what his name is? Someone hurt somebody else! That better?

He lets go and stands up, waits for Bob to get up then goes for an enziguri, but Bob catches his leg. Tanner twists and nails Bob in the head with his other leg!

Tito: Adrian’s flexibility with those legs is amazing!

Tanner pulls Bob up for a suplex, but it’s blocked! Bob reverses with his own suplex! Bob grabs Tanner’s leg and kicks him repeatedly, hard, right in the knee-cap. Tanner kicks him away with his right leg, backing Bob off. He starts to stand up but Bob kicks him in the leg again, and locks on a leg lock!

Tito: And our Television Champion goes right to work on those very legs. Tanner’s legs are the strongest parts of his body, and a big part of his technical/high-flying game plan. If Bob can take Tanner’s legs out, he limits Tanner’s ability greatly!

Melvyn: So give them blood! Blood! Gallons of the stuff. Give them all that they can drink and it will never enough!

Tito looks quizzically over at Melvyn.

Melvyn: So give them blood! Blood! Blooooood! Grab a glass because there’s going to be a flood!

Tito, still looking alarmingly at Melvyn, turns back to the ring, where Bob has relinquished the leg lock but is now wrenching Tanner’s knee with a standing knee lock.

Tito: Lancelot is going to work on that knee! The Tv Champ trying hard to prove he can run with the likes of Adrian Tanner, and it looks like it’s working so far!

Melvyn: A celebrated man amongst the gurney. They can fix me proper with a bit of luck.

Tito: ……

Melvyn: The doctors and the nurses they adore me so, but it’s really quite alarming….cause I’m such an awful fuuuuc…

Tito: MELVYN!

Tito screams at Melvyn, who takes a pair of earphones out of his ears.

Melvyn: What?!

Tito: What the hell are you doing?

Lancelot pulls Tanner up and whips him into the turnbuckle. Bob follows after him, but Adrian moves and Bob crashes shoulder-first into the ringpost!

Melvyn: I’m just trying to enjoy myself here with some music. Where’s the harm in that?

Tito: Are you_kidding_me? What do you mean…how can you not…?

Tito rambles off into incoherency as he slams his head into the table. Tanner rushes in towards Bob with a flying elbow in the corner, then moves to the apron.

Melvyn: Uh, that one guy pushes the hardcore guy out of the corner and jumps on to the ropes, but the hardcore guy’s bitch just grabbed the other guy’s other leg, so all he got was a crash landing with his neck bouncing off the ropes and he flew pretty hard onto the outside…Alright, this is annoying.

Damnit Tito, do your job already!

[Because that probably didn’t make sense… to anyone. A replay pops up, showing what actually happened.]

Adrian Tanner, still on the apron, pushed Bob out of the corner looking for a some cool high-risk move with Lancelot as his fall-breaker. However, as he jumped for the springboard, Claire grabbed onto one of Tanner’s legs. And thus, Tanner’s jump dive-bombed faster than a Platinum Pat promo. What Tanner ended up doing was landing neck-first on the ropes and bouncing off and falling back-first onto the floor below.

[We now return you to your regularly scheduled announcer banter.]

Melvyn: Yeah, that’s what I said.

Tito: I hate you.

[Join the club.]

Tito: Tanner gasping for air on the outside after that awkward fall.

Melvyn: And probably Percocets, too. Sweet, tasty Percocets.

Tito: ….Anyways. Lancelot slides outside and grabs at Adrian, who blocks and sends him crashing into the barricade. Tanner pulls himself up and elevates Bob up… and back down, throat first into the barricade. A little receipt for earlier perhaps?

Melvyn: Who cares? Make the Hardcore guy’s girl show us her titties already!

Rufus: *squatting at the end of the table next to Tito* Yeah! *munch* I wanna see 'em, too!

Tito: Rufus?!?! Uh….Tanner just suplexed Bob chest-first on that guardrail! Tanner pulls a play out of that one guy’s book with a spinning legdrop off the apron right onto the back and neck of Lancelot!

Tanner grabs Bob by the head when Claire jumps on Adrian’s back.

Rufus: That'a girl! Help out your sugar daddy!

Tito: Rufus, how'd you get-

Rufus: *munch* Power.

Rufus winces and shakes his head, looking away, then looking back.

Rufus: Aw... sheesh!!! C'mon Claire! You can do better than that! Stop hitting like a girl!!! Geeeeeeze!!

Rufus winces and covers his eyes with a hand, peeking out to watch.

Melvyn: Boobies!

Tito: Uh... she IS a girl, Rufus.

Tanner lets go and easily pulls Claire off of him, holding her by the hair. Tanner grins and looks out to the crowd…

Tito: Uh oh, Claire might find herself in a similar situation to Sly Fondell’s girlfriend here!

Rufus: Lancelot isn't about to let him do it.

Indeed, the Arizona Assassin, notorious for kissing other guys' girls, still holding Claire by the hair, puckers up…

Melvyn: Boobies!

….Denied? Booooo!

Tito: Bob Lancelot coming to the ‘defense’ of his girlfriend as he clubs Tanner in the back before he can plant that kiss! Claire scampers off to the other side as an enraged Hardcore Superstar drags Adrian to his feet and-

Rufus: Told ya! Lancelot may be a lot of things, but he's not going to let Tanner lay that puss on what sucks his-

Tito: RUFUS!!!!

Rufus: Whaaaaaat?! *stuffing more nuts in his mouth*

Tito: …Ohhhhh!

Bob whips Tanner hard across the way; Tanner rams the ring steps and does a complete flip over to the floor on the other side.

Tito: Lancelot sends Adrian crashing into the ring steps! My god, he hit those steps knees-first! Lancelot just stomping away on Tanner’s knees now. Bob pulls Adrian up again and rolls him back into the ring. He climbs up on the turnbuckle and jumps… and eats_boot! Tanner got his left foot up just in time.

Melvyn: Booooooobies!

Tito: ….Will you stop already?

Melvyn: Nay.

Rufus What have you got against tits, Tito, especially when they're on Lancelot's better half?

Tito: Nothing… Tanner up to his knees, but he’s still hurting. Bob gets up first…and walks into a dropkick from the Arizona Assassin!

Melvyn: Pwnt!

Tito: Did you seriously just say that word?

Melvyn: Damn right I did. Pwning things pwns your mom!

Tito: God…I hate you.

Rufus Tito, man, you really need some therapy, bud. It's not cool to hate so much. Here, have some nuts!

Rufus offers Tito some nuts as Tanner gets back to his feet and takes Bob down with a flying clothesline, then follows up with a roaring elbow, and finally finishing it off with the Attitude Adjustment!

Tito: Tanner outta nowhere with the Attitude Adjustment! That hurricanrana into a spinning DDT has turned this match around for the challenger!

Melvyn: I get it! You’re right!

Tito: Huh? Well…uh…okay…I’m glad you’ve finally…

Melvyn: You’re the perfect person.

Tito: …

Tito looks over at Melvyn, rocking out to his headphones again as Bob groggily gets to his feet.

Melvyn: So right, so wrong…

Tito: Must….resist….urge to kill…

Tito reaches over and rips the earphone out of one of Melvyn’s ears.

Melvyn: OW!

Tito: Pay attention damn you!

Melvyn: Pfft…

Rufus: Tito, bud, you seriously need help. Speaking of which, this arena is way past due for its weapons inspection. I'll go do that while Lancelot is busy.

Rufus leaves Tito the rest of his nuts and stays hunkered down and sneaks around the apron toward Claire.

Tito: Tanner whips Bob into the corner again. That didn’t work out too well last time, but it works this time as Tanner channels the Stinger with a stinger splash!

Bob drops to the mat in the corner. Adrian makes a ‘gun firing’ motion with both hands as he grabs the top rope on either side of the corner and slingshots himself with a whiplash dropkick into the Hardcore Superstar's face!

Tito: I took the 6 hour flight to Starkville and all I got was this lousy BOOT TO THE FACE!

Melvyn: Que?

Tito: That’s the name of the move.

Melvyn: Move? What move?

Tito: The…dropkick that Adrian Tanner just…I…You saw…

Melvyn: Breathe man! I’m just messin with ya!

Tito: I. Hate. You.

Melvyn: I know, I know. Doesn’t make it any less fun though, does it?

Tito: …

Tanner pulls Bob up into a powerbomb position, double underhooking Bob’s arms. He then lifts Bob up onto his shoulder; the arms still hooked, and then he drops bob face-first across his knee!

Tito: Welcome to the Desert! Tanner plants Bob with the W2D, but it looks like that hurt his knee more than it did Bob!

Tanner drags himself across the ring with the ropes. He pulls himself up in the corner and begins stomping his foot, lining Bob up.

Melvyn: Oh look, it's Shawn Michaels.

Tito: Tanner setting up for the Daytripper! He’s just waiting on Bob now. I gotta say, even with the somewhat bum wheel, if he hits this, it may be lights out for the Hardcore Superstar!

Melvyn: What the hell kind of a name is 'The Hardcore Superstar' anyways? It’s like that one guy in that other fed who used to go simply by ‘The Icon.’ Talk about setting yourself up to fail. Nobody takes you seriously when you give yourself a nickname like that!

Tito: Bob’s up, here we…What the hell?!

Adrian Tanner rushes out of the corner for his Daytripper superkick, only to crumble to the mat, holding his knee in agony!

Tito: I don’t know what the hell’s going on but it appears Adrian’s injured his knee.

Melvyn: Woot! I had five hundred on him doing just that! Go me!

Tito: You put a bet on a wrestler getting injured?!

Melvyn: Of course I did. I also put a bet on you pulling the always obvious ‘bitchfest’ about my bet and just won myself another 40 bucks! Double score for me!

Cut to the announce table, where Melvyn has a betting sheet a mile long with random things to bet on on it. Tanner rolls out of the ring to the floor, still holding his knee as referee Mark Maxim and Bob look on in confusion.

Tito: You’re despicable.

Melvyn: And?

Tito: I can’t believe I ever tried to talk to you like a civil human being.

Melvyn: Do or do not. There is no try.

Bob tries to go outside, but the referee stops him. Bob argues with the ref, pointing at Tanner.

Tito: What the hell does that have to do with anything?

Melvyn: It has everything to do with everything.

Tito: What?!

Melvyn: Exactly.

Referee Mark Maxim jumps outside the ring to talk to Adrian.

Referee Mark Maxim: Adrian…

Adrian Tanner: Get the hell back in the ring!

Tito: Adrian Tanner, always a fighter! He’s trying to fight through the pain. That’s the mark of a true champion there!

Melvyn: No it’s the mark of an idiot. An idiot who just made me five hundred smackers too.

Tito: I hate you.

Melvyn: Do too!

Tito: ….What?

Melvyn: Yeah!

Tito bangs his head into the announce desk as Referee Mark Maxim re-enters the ring and starts a mandatory ten count while Adrian tries to pull himself up. There's a sudden cheering and whistling in the crowd as Claire screams and fights off Rufus who just flashed her Weapons of Mass Distraction to everyone to the right of Tanner, who was too busy nursing his knee to see in time.

1!

2!

3!

Tito: The referee has started the obligatory ten-count here. But I don’t think it matters, that leg of Adrian’s is toast.

Melvyn: Hey Tit-o, how much wood do you think a wood-chuck could really chuck if he could chuck wood?”

Tito: …..

Melvyn: Fine, don’t help me. I WAS going to share the prize money with ya. Guess not now, sucker!

Melvyn writes in the number 40 for “How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?” on his betting sheet. Tito buries his head in shame.

4!

5!

Tito: Perhaps I spoke too soon, true believers! It looks like the Arizona Assassin is almost up to his feet now!


6!

Referee Mark Maxim shoves Bob Lancelot away again, as he tries in vain to get at the weakened Adrian Tanner.

Melvyn: Are we done yet?

Tito: Show some respect you ass! Adrian Tanner is a man who doesn’t give up! Though at this point he may have to!

Rufus returns to squat back next to Tito at the end of the table, grinning in a satisfied way.

Rufus He's done... and by the way, Humphrey Coliseum passes its weapons inspection in the pink!

7!

Melvyn: Dude, you were supposed to inspect them in THIS DIRECTION! I had a bet on it!

Rufus: *apologetically* Aww... geeze, sorry, man! Next time, I promise! Deal?

Melvyn: Deal!

Rufus reaches behind Tito to do a special jive handshake with Melvyn to seal the deal.

At “8,” Adrian makes it to a standing position, but as he takes a step, he falls right back down to the floor. At that moment the ref stops his count and orders the bell.

Yuri Testkov: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...THE REFEREE HAS ORDERED A STOP TO HIS MATCH DUE TO INJURY. THEREFORE.... YOUR WINNER AND STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL TKOW TELEVISION CHAMPION....BOOOOOOOOOB LAAAAAAANNNNNNCCCCEEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOT!!

The referee hands Bob his title as the crowd boos loudly. A team of Medical officials rush out and help Tanner up.

Tito: Adrian Tanner fought valiantly, but was unable to reach his feet…

Melvyn: Fought valiantly? What the hell were you watching? He pussed out! Like a big giant pussy!

Rufus: Yeah, Tito, he's right dude. Tanner totally wussed out.

Lancelot is still in the ring celebrating and watching the medical team walk Adrian Tanner up the stage. Suddenly, Adrian stops them.

*BAM*

And superkicks the guy on the left into the front row!

Tito: What the HELL?

Melvyn: SWERVE!

Rufus is in shock.

Rufus: I can't... I can't believe this. The man faked it! He cheated the champ out of a clean win! I'm.... so distraught... *nearly in tears* I need the comfort of... *whimper, cry* ...REINSPECTING THE WEAPONS!! *normal, perky and looking around* Where's Claire!?

Adrian shakes out his ‘injured’ leg and looks towards the ring, that cocky smirk back on his face as Rufus takes off in pursuit of Claire again.

Tito: What the hell just happened? I thought Tanner was injured!

Melvyn: Obviously he aint, Sherlock. He just pulled a fast one on all ya’ll. Brilliant!

Tito: He also just cost_you_that five hundred bucks!

Melvyn: ….I’ll kill him!

Tito laughs as Adrian, still standing on the stage, asks for a mic.

Adrian: What? Shocked, are you? My legs are the strongest part of my body Bobby, gonna take a lot more than what you can dish out to take out these wheels.

C’mon Bobby, let’s look at this from a logical standpoint.

I’ve got all the respect in the world for the history of TKOW and all...

He looks out to the crowd, then back at Bob.

Adrian: Alright, so…some respect. But I do greatly respect what Power’s tried to do with both the TV and World Titles here in TKOW. It’s all gravy. But c’mon, who’re we kidding here? I think I’m a tad bit above the ‘TKOW Television Title’ at this point in my career.

I came here for one Title, and I guarantee you it’s not the TV title.

Trust me, Tee-vee titles and me, we don’t mix. I couldn’t pay off a goddamn bum to take the last one off my hands.

So you’ll have to excuse me for not wanting to hold another Television belt for as long as I live. But hey, look on the bright side. You get to keep your title, and I get to not be stuck slumming it with the low-carders. Everyone wins!

So congrats Bobby, you win. Enjoy it, ‘cause it’s the only real ‘win’ you’re ever gonna get over me. Play his music!

Adrian smirks again as he drops the mic and heads to the back only to stop short as Disturbed's "Meaning of Life" kicks in and Section 8 (Trine, Lady Hawke, Griffen) emerge from all the entrances, blocking his way. Power comes out of the only open route remaining, effectively keeping Tanner from leaving the stage. Power raises a mic as Lancelot signals for one of his own.

T.H. Power: Tanner, Tanner, Tanner.... is this what I pay you for? To fake an injury to get out of fighting your match? I don't think so. You said your peace, but you're still on my clock. Soooooo.... as much as I detest the piece of shit in the ring at the moment, I'm going to let him have his say, and you're going to show me that respect you say you have for me and stay here and listen up, even if it takes me and the rest of Section 8 to hold you down and sit on you through it all.

Tanner glares at Power and starts to take a step toward Hawke, but she has none of it, firmly blocking him, motioning him to lay a hand on her. Griffen glares and opens his mouth, but Trine beats him to it, barking something at Tanner that can't be made out. A ring hand finally gets Bob a mic, who moves to the ropes, nearest the ramp, staring at Tanner on the stage after bitching at Rufus to leave Claire alone under threat of bodily harm.

Lancelot: This is what it is all about...

Bob holds the TKOW Television Championship above his head with one arm.

Lancelot: C'mon Tanner, you think I really believe that bullshit? How can you not want it?? It's the most important thing in the fed at this moment. I've had this longer than Phoenix has had his worthless title! Come take it from me! Come on I dare ya! See if you take it, you son of a bitch!!! I'll break that knee for you for you! You won't have to fake it!

Tanner doesn't react to Bob.

Lancelot: I said come and take it, you mother fu*BLEEP*!!

Bob is getting angrier.

Lancelot: Ok, ok. I get it. You are too scared to fight me. That's alright you fu*BLEEP*ing yellow bellied coward! You are given a golden opportunity like this and you don't make the most of it. You aren't at all like your sister. Last night I gave Kaycee a golden chance and she sure as hell took it!

Bob grins at Adrian, who clenches his fists.

Lancelot: Damn, she was rough! Oh, by the way, Claire enjoyed Kaycee's company too!

Bob thrusts his hips at Adrian and begins to laugh. Tanner slowly turns around to face Bob, but says nothing, his face expressionless.

Lancelot: No reaction? You make me sick! I just insulted your own flesh and blood on national television and all you can do is stare at me? What the fu*BLEEP* have you been smoking, you co*BLEEP* sucking mother fu*BLEEP*. C'mon....slap me, unless...

Bob laughs.

Lancelot: You can't defend her can you, because it's the truth! She really is a slutty whore!

Bob slides out of the ring and runs up the ramp, stopping nose to nose with Tanner. Section 8 stands ready as Bob offers his cheek for Tanner to slap, but Tanner doesn't rise to the challenge.

Lancelot: I just insulted your sister again. I said slap me you co*BLEEP* nosed twa*BLEEP*!

Bob gets angry again.

Lancelot: Look, there you go, passing on another golden opportunity. Did you know Kaycee enjoyed li*BLEEP*g Claire out almost as much as she enjoyed giving me he*BLEEP*

Tanner continues to stare at Bob, his expression growing dark.

Lancelot: Just fu*BLEEP* slap me you fu*BLEEP* ignorant coward! You jealous we fu*BLEEP* your sister and you can't?

Tanner clenches his teeth, his arms twitching from the effort to keep them still.

Lancelot: I said slap me!

Bob glares at Tanner.

Lancelot: You're a fu*BLEEP* pathetic piece of shit. It's not about being too good to fight me. It's about you being afraid. Adrian Tanner, Jr. afraid of the Hardkore Superstar that is Bob Lancelot. That's right. Afraid of losing your pretty boy reputation by losing to me. You know I'm better than you! Afraid of going back to all those other federations you play in and having to admit that "low-card" TKOW TV Title Champion Hardkore Superstar Bob Lancelot KICKED YOUR ASS. I can do it anytime, anyplace, including RIGHT NOW!

Bob spits in Adrian's face. The spit trickles down Adrian's cheek.

Lancelot: Your mother is a whore, your sister is a whore. She proved it last night. Your whole goddamn family are whores and cowards and Claire and I will fu*BLEEP* them all, except you, including your girlfriend... and you won't be getting any of that pu*BLEEP* after Claire and I are through with her!

Adrian: *gritting his teeth* You shut your mouth about my family and keep my girlfriend-

Lancelot: Oh, I will keep her. Claire and I will keep her very busy, and when we're tired of her, we'll make sure everyone but you keeps her busy!

Tanner suddenly attacks Lancelot and they roll down the ramp in a tangle, Tanner throwing fists at Bob, while he swings his belt in an attempt to brain his adversary. The crowd cuts loose in cheers of the brawl as Griffen and Trine rush down the ramp to try to pull the two apart, soon joined by security.

Tito: Well, Melvyn, it's been a night of surpri- Melvyn?

Tito looks around to find himself alone at the announce table, finally spying Melvyn and Rufus closing in on Claire, making motions for her to flash her Weapons of Mass Distraction.

Tito: Oh, well. As I was saying, it truly has been a night of surprises. Join us again at the next Mass Khaos where we will have another set of guest announcers vying for a permanent seat next to me here at the announce table in TKOW! This is Tito Poppi saying good bye from all of us in TKOW at the Humphrey Coliseum in Starkville, Miiiiiiiiissippiiiiiiiiii!!!! Keep watching!

The shot goes back to the floor where Griffen and two of security are restraining Adrian Tanner, Jr. who is mouthing off at Lancelot, who is being restrained and pulled back by Trine and two other security guards. Lady Hawke picks up the TV title and dangles it in front of Bob, who makes a grab for it while glaring at Tanner, still mouthing off to him.

**Fade to**

[TKOW Board]

CREDITS

BIRDS/GRIFFEN SEGMENT
Kahlan

OPENER
Kahlan

DOBERMAN SEGMENT
Doberman

CHURCH OF PAIN AND SUFFERING VS COLLYER AND MCPIPEBOMB
TRIAL ANNOUNCER "HOOPS" JACKSON
Onslaught

NEW ERA PROMO
Kahlan

JACE MINGLA VS DAN "CYPHER" KILBURN
TRIAL ANNOUNCER NEIL NERDERSON
Bob w/Kahlan

SECTION 8 VS SULLIVAN AND DOBERMAN
TRIAL ANNOUNCERS RUFUS/HERBERT ANDERSON
Kahlan/Onslaught

MAIN EVENT
TV TITLE CHAMP BOB LANCELOT VS ADRIAN TANNER, JR
TRIAL ANNOUNCERS MELVYN AND RUFUS
Havok w/Kahlan & Bob

CLOSE
Kahlan