TKOW: The Most Hated Fed On the Planet!!

[TKOW Board]

Black Stone Cherry's "Shooting Star" starts up, the guitar chords getting louder over darkness before fading in...

(IMG:http://tkow.keithmeehan.com/banners/tkownewera07.gif)

I've seen your evil ways
And your corrupting mind

*Phoenix Hellfire-ing Aello*

Lay the hourglass over
So we don't waste our time

Now throw your burdens out
And throw your heart to me

*Matt Griffen face-to-face with Phoenix*

I don't know what'll come
We'll have to wait and see

*The challenger and the champion trading blows mid-ring*

Like a shooting star
And you're falling from me

*Carpenter hitting Claire with a sick brainbuster from a ladder through a flaming table.*

And as you fade away
My heart skips a beat

*Adrian watching Kaycee and Cypher*

And I know you're down on love
But we can love again
So open up
Come on invite me in

*Cypher showing T.H. the contract for Carpenter to face Kaycee*

Now throw your burdens out
And throw your heart to me
I don't know what'll come
We'll have to wait and see

Like a shooting star
And you're falling from me

*The whole TKOW roster battling at the end of the last Mass Khaos*

And as you fade away
My heart skips a beat

The fireworks explode as the camera pans around the gathered throng of loyal TKOW fans.

Tito: Welcome one and all to the TKOW spectacular that is New Era! Tonight, I have with me the man voted by YOU to be my new broadcast partner, the one and only, enigmatic, Melvyn!!

Melvyn: Ah who gives a damn.

Tito: Nicely said Melvyn. Tonight you fans are in for a long awaited treat, a one on one rematch of what is sure to be the most controvertial title match TKOW has ever had, last year's MegaBowl V cage match, Phoenix defending against Matt Griffen.

Melvyn: I had more controversy in the steamer I left in your duffel bag backstage.

Tito: You did what?!

Melvyn: *ignoring Tito* In that match, the very night Phoenix turned his back on everyone he tolerated, Matt lost the match because he was so pissed off he put the champ through the cage wall, throwing him out of the cage to the floor.

Tito: *looking a bit sick* After that Phoenix went on to narrowly defend against Tobias Burden in a submissions only match the same night.

Melvyn: Since then he's also managed to defend his belt twice, in the Prince of Hell as well as a *does the quote signs* "four-way" Brutality Cage match. However this match here is unlike any of those matches, as he's stuck inside, one on one, with the first, longest, and former Brutality Champion himself, Matt Griffen.

Tito: Phoenix seemed to have shrugged off his evil ways, but quickly proved that wrong, when he attacked his former lover Aello, spurning the hate of former friend Matt.

Melvyn: I wonder if the man has anything that's current? Even his belt is the former Brutality title.

Tito: He currently has a major problem, a wall of a man, right in his path.

Melvyn: He should be grateful!

A guitar chord begins.

WEEEEEEEEE...

SWWEEEEE... EMOOOOOOO...

SWWEEEEE... EMOOOOOOO...

SWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTT EMOOOOOOOOOTION...

SWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTT EMOOOOOOOOOTION...

The "8" logo bounces around the KhaosTron, jumping around the HPWA logo as T.H. Power emerges from the backstage area to "Sweet Emotion".

You talk about things that nobody cares
Youre wearing out things that nobody wears
Youre calling my name but you gotta make clear
I cant say baby where Ill be in a year

Yuri Testkov: THE NEXT ENTRY, HAILING FROM NEWARK NEW JERSEY, STANDING SIX FOOT FOUR AND WEIGHING TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE POUNDS, HE IS THE LEADER OF SECTION 8, HE IS THE OWNER OF TKOW, HE IS, T., H., POOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEERRRRRRRRRR~!

Tito: The fans are hazing Power the entire way down to the ring.

Melvyn: No one ever likes the man in charge. It's a burden the greats like Power and myself must bear with silent dignity.

Tito stares at Melvyn.

Melvyn: What? I'm in charge of every show I'm on. Like right now, carryin your sorry ass.

Power 'Style and Profile' struts down the ramp, his metal briefcase in hand, a smirk across his face. In pure Bret Hart style he takes off his sunglasses and puts them on a kid at ringside before climbing the steps and stepping through the ropes.

T.H. Power: You people... I love you people.

The crowds jeers just get louder.

T.H. Power: I feel ya, my brothers and sisters in arms. Right here. *motions to his heart* Right now though, got a little announcement. Just want to flow something to you all.

I've been crunching some numbers, looking over the people here and how hard they work, and I've decided it's time to take TKOW into a new direction. It's going to sting a little, but I think the change will be a little less painful then it sounds. It's like we're already doing it!

Instead of holding all these Mass Khaos', and running a PPV every couple shows, we're going to go fully "we're better than you" form, and hold one big huge major Pay Per View event every, say, five weeks. In between that, we'll travel around the area that the PPV will be held, and rile you all up with some nice, manageable house shows. Just little teases of whats coming up.

Melvyn: Can you feel the excitement in the air?!

Tito: Not really.

Melvyn: Guess that's just my pants then. You see that brunette over there?

Tito: I'm actually happy that I won't have to deal with you on a weekly basis.

Melvyn: And here I was ready to send you a muffin basket congradulating you on getting the best damned color announcer period.

T.H. Power: There will be more details announced after the show concerning this new format for TKOW. But let me tell you all, I'm very excited with the prospects of this new direction.

For now though, we have some wrestling to show you all!

The fans finally start to cheer as T.H. ducks out of the ring and heads up the ramp.

Tito: It's about time to get to it Melvyn!

Melvyn: Hey I got the TKOW laptop! Can I get titosmomsawhore.com on this thing??

[TKOW Board]

The KhaosTron screen focus' on the door in the back labeled "Section 8", and the reason is instantly clear as yealling can be heard flowing through the door.

Matt Griffin: *muffled* WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HER TRINE??

Trine: I have any number of responsibilities Matt. And she's just too damned headstrong to just wait with me. I found this though...

T.H. Power: For fuck's sake... Get out of here before I fire your pathetic ass. Hawke is in a match and you should cover her back.

Trine: No! I have to find Ael-

T.H. Power: NOW!!

The door swings open and Trine, the masked bodyguard, storms away.

T.H. Power: We'll find her Matt.

Inside, before the door swings shut, we see Matt holding Aello's mask, streaked with blood...

*Back to the ring, we see Richards in one corner conversing with the 'New Sensation' Nathan Slater, while Dark Schnitzel looks to the outside of the ring looking at the assortment of prepared goodies that are to be used in this match, Lady Hawke and Eligoor remain completely focused on all of their prospective opponents.*

Tito: I see Richards couldn't bear to be away from his tag partner...

Melvyn: *Playing a DS* Uh-huh... tag partner.... right.

Tito: *Grabs the DS away* Do you even want this job or what? Anyhow, this match will be no DQ, so heedless to say the ref can't do a damn thing about High Maintenance.

Melvyn: *Grabbing for his DS back* You're failing to mention that the side of the ring has all of these toys which have been generously provided by ACME Inc...

Tito: *Throws the DS into the crowd, earning an insulted look from Melvyn* It's all from home hardware you asshole... tables, ladders... and...

Melvyn: And an assortment of decorative fire objects with which these guys can burn each other to death with... *Points to a flaming wall much like the one once used in the Kane vs. Undertaker Inferno match* What the hell IS that thing?

*The bell ring as the ref signals for it and Lady Hawke and Eligoor make a mad dash towards Richards, Schnitzel smiles and slides out under the ropes and proceeds to grab a ladder he slides it under the ropes and proceeds to set it up while Richards is still being assaulted in the corner by the duo of Eligoor and LH, Richards tries his best to fend off the assault, Slater sees DS on the other side of the ring beginning to climb the ladder and yells to Richards before reaching underneath the ropes and pulling Lady Hawke out of the ring and then throwing her into the barricade before rushing over to the other side of the ring to set up some tables.*

Tito: Slater is already proving to be very effective in Richard's corner.

*Richard thumbs Eligoor in the eye and rears back with a mean clothesline to the White Wolf's face, Richards then dashes over quickly to the climbing Schnitzel, grabs a handful of tights and rips him off the ladder, DS lands on his feet and turns to slug Richards, 'Rolls Royce' block the punch and delivers several forearms before delivering a swift boot to Schnitzel's stomach.*

Tito: Piledriver... No Schnitzel's fighting it!

*Indeed, the larger Schnitzel shoves Richards back into the ropes and hits him with a rising knee on the rebound, DS then turns back to climb the ladder, only this time the recovered Eligoor moves to intercept him with a Northern lariat. The White Wolf delivers a few stomps to Schnitzel's back to make sure he stays down before attempting the climb himself.*

Melvyn: Apparently all of these idiots have some sort of obsession with toy cap guns...

Tito: Well it's actually one of the more elusive falls to score in this match and I'm pretty sure everyone wants to score it early in this match... while they're still fresh.

*Lady Hawke has regained her balance after the assault from Slater and grabs a chair from the nearby bellboy and proceeds over to where Slater has created a three table high structure, he turns to grab a third table to be met with a brutal chairshot to the melon from LH!*

Melvyn: DING! Fries are done...

Tito: Payback for the earlier interference... but she should be more worried about Eligoor's progress.

*Indeed, Oslund is over halfway up the ladder when a recupperated Richards reaches up and latches onto one of his legs, halting his progress, Eligoor responds by throwing desperate kicks with his free foot into Richard's face, Richard brunts the assault and continues upwards, turning halfway up the ladder and hooking Eligoor's arms.*

Melvyn: Wonder what this is leading to...

*From ten feet high Rolls Royce throws the White Wolf with a CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB! The impact leaves Oslund rolling across the ground in agony while Richard's takes a moment to regain his equilibrium, meanwhile Lady Hawke has climbed up to the outside apron and springboards off the ropes and onto the still standing ladder and starts to climb.*

Tito: Hawke is going for the pistols!!!

Melvyn: So would that count as a fall against everyone else or does it just mean she's got one of the six falls that would move her on to the next round...

Tito: Both and... wait a minute... did you just ask a half decent ques- *Sees that Melvyn has procurred a PSP and has begun playing.*.

*Richards finally stands and goes over to pin Oslund when Dark Schnitzel appears out of nowhere and cracks Rolls Royce with a chair, sending the smaller man stumbling back into the ladder that LH is climbing! The ladder tips and Lady Hawke goes flying outside of the ring and through the tables that Slater had set up earlier!*

Eligoor +0 -0
Richards +1 -0
Schnitzel +0 -0
Hawke +0 -1 (Table)

Time Left: 26:37

DS looks at the carnage he created and starts cussing out the referee for giving Richard's the fall that he was indirectly responsible for, he stops mid rant to see Eligoor slowly getting to his feet and begins to stalk him, the White Wolf turns around into...

Tito: CHRONIC INJURY! He planted Oslund!

1....


2....


...3!

Eligoor +0 -1 (Pinfall)
Richards +1 -0
Schnitzel +1 -0
Hawke +0 -1 (Table)

Tito: Three and a half minutes into the match and already two falls have been scored!

Melvyn: While you Tito, haven't scored in a fucking lifetime. Shit Tito, that dickless dinosaur Barney scored before you.

Tito: No he hasn't!

Melvyn: *Messing with his cell phone* Huh? Sure, whatever you say Tito.

*On the outside of the ring Lady Hawke starts to slowly get to her feet. She’s looks weary and bedraggled. *

Tito: Lady Hawke isn’t looking too good right now.

Melvyn: No shit, she just took a nose dive through some tables.

Tito: Its more than that…she looked like she was trying to hide some pain from the very beginning. Lady Hawke has a number of nagging injuries and it looks like they are hindering her as they are sometimes apt to do.

Melvyn: I’m crying on the inside.

Back in the ring, Dark Schnitzel uncovers Eligoor and grabs a heaping helping of the big man’s hair, looking to drag him to the other side of the ring and over towards Lady Hawke where more tables lie in wait. But Richards explodes from out of nowhere with a huge lariat, nearly taking Schnitzel’s head off!! Eligoor is dropped to the wayside and Richards picks up Schnitzel and brings him crashing down with a falling backbreaker. On the outside, Lady Hawke has finally started to pick herself up when Slater drills her in the skull with a chair!!

Melvyn: I think she can add another injury to her rapidly expanding list of them.

Tito: Somebody needs to get Slater the hell out of there!!

Slater calls out to “Rolls Royce” and slides Lady Hawke into the ring. Seeing a new victim, he smiles and then proceeds to place one hand on Dark Schnitzel and one hand on Lady Hawke!

Tito: Can he do that?!

Melvyn: OH JESUS! MAYBE NOT! CALL THE NARC SQUAD!

Tito: Only one of the falls will actually count, he’s just showing off!

Richards orders a ref over and demands he count! The ref does as ordered!

1….


2….

3!! Wait, Schnitzel saved himself by kicking out!

23:18

Eligoor +0 -1 ():(Pinfall)
Richards +2 -0 ():(Pinfall/Table)
Schnitzel +1 -0 ():(Pinfall)
Hawke +0 -2 () :(Table/Pinfall)

Richards, frustrated he couldn’t get both falls, starts laying the boots to Schnitzel, when he’s surprised by two hands reaching around his neck. Eligoor drops Richards with a neckbreaker and grabs a ladder. Eligoor, having regained his senses, starts crashing the ladder into the ribs of each of his opponents in turn, before planting the ladder on top of Richards and proceeding to climb up to the suspended cap gun! Richards tries to throw the ladder off of himself, but he’s stuck! Eligoor grabs hold of the gun that has Richards’ name on it, but now Schnitzel is in pursuit, climbing up the ladder and starting a fist fight with Eligoor! But Eligoor fights him off and Schnitzel is thrown off the ladder. Eligoor starts firing the gun! 1…2…3…4…5…

Tito: LOOK OUT!

Schnitzel is back to his feet and he tips the ladder, but Eligoor hangs onto the suspended gun from the rope!! High above the ring he fires off the lash shot! He gets the ladder fall, but loses his grip and slips, but in mid-air he twists around and lands on top of Richards with a brutal splash!! Eligoor rolls with the punches and wraps Richards’ legs up in a pin!

1…

2…

3!!

Tito: WHAT?! Eligoor just scored two falls in a row! He’s tied with Richards!

Eligoor +2 -1 (Ladder/Pinfall):(Pinfall)
Richards +2 -2 (Pinfall/Table): (Pinfall/Ladder)
Schnitzel +1 -0 ():(Pinfall)
Hawke +0 -2 () :(Table/Pinfall)

Schnitzel sees the big jump Eligoor just took! He moves in on the duo, only to be met with a desperation spear by Lady Hawke! She gores DS out of the ring and both combatants land with a dull thud! Lady Hawke gives a hoarse cry of pain, yet seems somehow rejuvenated! She crawls over to DS and locks in her patented submission finisher the Myth Breaker!! A ref slides over and Schnitzel tries to claw for some ropes that just aren’t there! Finally, he taps!!

21:14

Eligoor +2 -1 (Ladder/Pinfall):(Pinfall)
Richards +2 -2 (Pinfall/Table): (Pinfall/Ladder)
Schnitzel +1 -1 (Pinfall): (Submission)
Hawke +1 -2 (Submission) :(Table/Pinfall)

Melvyn: Lady Hawke looks spent…or even…a “cooked bird” if ya weeel…

Tito: That was just corny.

Melvyn: So is your mom.

Tito: Are you even trying?

Melvyn: Yeah. Trying your mom.

Dark Schnitzel looks embarrassed and enraged as Lady Hawke slumps over onto her hands and knees, eyes shut tight in pain. Schnitzel nurses his stretched muscles for a moment before pulling at Lady Hawke’s hair!

Dark Schnitzel: Time….to expel you….like the aborted fetus you are!

Melvyn: Is there anything better than a good dead baby taunt? I mean, really?

Tito: Uh….your mom.

Melvyn: No…no….it just doesn’t work when you do it….

Schnitzel starts to pull something out of his boot. Meanwhile, Eligoor and Richards are still in the ring and both big men are slugging it out. Richards powers Eligoor into the corner with a series of shoulder thrusts. Eligoor fights back with a stiff forearm across Richards’ back, followed by a knee lift! Richards is stunned, but Slater slides in the ring, tagging Eligoor with a flying bulldog! Richards follows that up with a high leaping elbow drop as Slater tosses Richards the chair he used earlier! Richards picks it up and starts laying into Eligoor with it! Eligoor tries to get up, only to be battered back down again and again! Finally, Richards stands over Eligoor and weeds one of his arms in the chair, then with one foot he presses the edge of the chair into Eligoor’s throat while pulling up on the arm trapped by the chair!

Melvyn: Is badass spelled with one “d” or two? Because I’m fairly certain this qualifies!

Tito: Good God!

Eligoor tries to struggle out but he’s choking and his arm is being hyperextended at the same time! He has no choice but to tap out!

Eligoor +2 -2 (Ladder/Pinfall):(Pinfall/Submission)
Richards +3 -2 (Pinfall/Table/Submission): (Pinfall/Ladder)
Schnitzel +1 -1 (Pinfall): (Submission)
Hawke +1 -2 (Submission) :(Table/Pinfall)

On the outside, Schnitzel seems to have extricated a rag soaked in…something? But what it’s soaked in becomes clear as Schnitzel then draws out a lighter and lights the rag. He then proceeds to shove it under Lady Hawke’s ring gear, causing it to start fire! Lady Hawke rapidly tries to quell the flames, leaving Schnitzel with a satisfied smirk on his face!

Tito: What a pervert! He reached into her ring gear and set her on fire and seems to almost be getting off on that fact!

Melvyn: What, you’ve never seen a porno with the old “immolation/feel coping” shtick? Common Poppi, get with the times…

18:39

Eligoor +2 -2 (Ladder/Pinfall):(Pinfall/Submission)
Richards +3 -2 (Pinfall/Table/Submission): (Pinfall/Ladder)
Schnitzel +2 -1 (Pinfall/Inferno): (Submission)
Hawke +1 -3 (Submission) :(Table/Pinfall/Inferno)

Between the ropes, Slater is helping Richards set up a ladder so Richards can grab a hold of one of the other cap guns and snag another fall. Seeing, this Schnitzel rolls into the ring and ambushes Slater from behind, throwing him over the top rope. Schnitzel then tips Richards’ ladder over, sending him spilling onto the top rope, which crotches him!! Schnitzel takes advantage by setting up the ladder himself and starts climbing! Meanwhile, Lady Hawke is up again!! And she’s grabbing a ladder!! She starts scaling her own ladder in her own race to get the ladder fall! Schnitzel grabs his gun and starts firing it…1…2…3…and Lady Hawke starts reaching for her gun, but Eligoor is up!! He tips over Schnitzel’s ladder, which in turn lands on Lady Hawke’s ladder sending them tipping over like domino’s and the steel and bodies come crashing down!

Eligoor then pulls Richards off the top rope and starts punching him in the face, before booting him over onto his stomach and locking in a boston crab! But Slater throws a chair at Eligoor’s face, busting his nose open and forcing him to break the hold! Richards pulls himself out and lifts Eligoor up into position for a brain buster and looks like he’s going to deliver when Schnitzel hits a low blow on Richards from behind!

Melvyn: See, this is why I don’t get in there anymore. Too much negative attention for the testes. And I need those!!

Schnitzel rolls out of the ring and grabs another table, sliding it under the bottom rope. Schnitzel starts setting up the table, but is interrupted when Eligoor turns him around, boots him in the gut and delivers a DDT! Eligoor then goes out of the ring and pulls a gascan out from under it!! The fans pop big time!! Slater and Lady Hawke slamber into the ring at the same time! Lady Hawke moves to grab the gas can from Eligoor but he clubs her on the head with it, and then gives the same to Slater! Eligoor starts covering DS’s table with gas and then proceeds to pull out a book of matches! Suddenly, his progress is halted by Richards who hits the Catatonic on Eligoor!

Richards: Count him to 10!!

The ref rushes over for the Last Man Standing count!

1….2…3….4…5…6…7…8…9…

Suddenly, Schnitzel smashes Richard’s head in with a chair! He then synches in a Texas Clover Leaf on Richards! But Eligoor doesn’t answer the ten count, so Richards earns another fall!!



Eligoor +2 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +4 -2 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Pinfall/Ladder)
Schnitzel +2 -1 (Pinfall/Inferno): (Submission)
Hawke +1 -3 (Submission) :(Table/Pinfall/Inferno)

But, just as the fall for Richards is verified, Richards taps to Schnitzel!!

15:12

Eligoor +2 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +4 -3 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Pinfall/Submission/Ladder)
Schnitzel +3 -1 (Pinfall/Inferno/Submission): (Submission)
Hawke +1 -3 (Submission) :(Table/Pinfall/Inferno)

Tito: Damn, this is all happening so fast!!

On the outside of the ring, Lady Hawke and Nathan Slater have started brawling!! Lady Hawke is sick of Slater’s interference! The crowd then surges, pointing to the top of the ramp! Trine is hauling ass down to the ring, where he pulls Slater off of Lady Hawke and lays into him with a series of right hands before throwing him over the crowd control barricade and into the fans, where the fight continues!

Tito: Lady Hawke probably didn’t want the help, but Trine just couldn’t stand Slater’s BS anymore!

Melvyn: Yeah, good job Trine. Now you just made Lady Hawke look like a wo….oh wait, she is.

Now that Lady Hawke has had a chance to catch a breather, she rolls into the ring and boots Schnitzel in the head as he maintains the hold on Richards! Schnitzel is forced to break it. He stumbles into the ropes and Lady Hawke clotheslines him up and over! No sooner does she do that that Eligoor roundhouse kicks her right in the spine! The impact is boneshattering! Eligoor pulls her down to the mat by her hair and rolls her over into a sharpshooter!! Lady Hawke is in pure agony, and she taps to Eligoor.

13:49

Eligoor +3 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall/Submission):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +4 -3 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Pinfall/Submission/Ladder)
Schnitzel +4 -1 (Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Submission)
Hawke +1 -5 (Submission) :(Table/Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing)

Schnitzel then throws Eligoor off of Lady Hawke and out of the ring, and he picks her up, boots her in the stomach and drops her down with the Mousollini, right down on top of one of the chairs that still litter the ring!! Schnitzel flags down a ref to count Hawke down.

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10…

Schnitzel picks up another fall!

Melvyn: AH HA! LOOK!

Schnitzel is now standing above Lady Hawke victoriously, shouting “Birds of Prey my ass!” But, unbeknownst to him, Trine has returned! He slides under the bottom rope, coming up right behind Dark Schnitzel with a chair he plucked out of the crowd! He waits for Schnitzel to turn around before bashing his head in with it!! Then, Trine drags Lady Hawke on top of Schnitzel and the ref starts counting the pin for Lady Hawke!

1….2….3!! Lady Hawke picks up a fall with an assist!!

10:49

Eligoor +3 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall/Submission):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +4 -3 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Pinfall/Submission/Ladder)
Schnitzel +4 -2 (Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Submission/Pinfall)
Hawke +2 -5 (Submission/Pinfall) :(Table/Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing)

Tito: Despite that help, Lady Hawke looks absolutely gone. I think even Trine realizes it.

Indeed, Trine looks concerned as he gets out of the ring. Lady Hawke is only moving a miniscule amount. She’s clearly in a huge amount of pain. Richards rouses and grabs a ladder. He props it up and starts to climb, finally getting one of the guns. Unfortunately, it has Lady Hawke’s name on it.

Tito: Oh no….

Richards starts firing the gun! 1…2…3…4…5…WAIT! Richards pulls the trigger but the gun won’t go off!!

Melvyn: I call shananigans! How convenient that her gun doesn’t work, especially now that it would have booted her from the match entirely!

Back on the outside, Eligoor has regained his senses and begun setting up tables en masse!

Tito: Eligoor looks like he’s putting a plan in place.

Meanwhile, Richards has given up on Lady Hawke’s gun and is reaching for the gun with Schnitzel’s name on it, but it’s just out of reach. He has to readjust the ladder to get at it. Schnitzel is now getting to his feet, albeit slowly. But his eyes settle on the dropped gas can and matches from before. He looks at Richards, and then back at the implements of destruction. He retrieves them both. Richards is now grasping for Schnitzel’s gun and Schnitzel starts dousing Richards’ ladder with gas! Richards, so intent on picking up another fall, takes a few moments to notice, and he lashes out with a kick to Schnitzel’s head. Schnitzel is stunned for a brief moment.

On the outside, Eligoor has set up a cavalcade of tables, four set out in a row! Eligoor climbs up into the ring and walks towards Richards’ ladder, he’s trying to tip him over and into the tables! But Schnitzel interferes, hitting Eligoor with the can. Eligoor starts fighting back fist tooth and nail, but Schnitzel eventually wins out, leveling Eligoor and kicking him out of the ring and onto the plateau of tables extending from the ring. Schnitzel resumes dousing Richards ladder with gas, and then he pulls out the matches, lights one quickly and sets Richards’ ladder ablaze! Richards hollers in alarm and climbs higher and higher up the ladder, trying to avoid the flames. Schnitzel then proceeds to climb the other side of the ladder that is free of flames, intent on snatching one of the other nearby guns and firing it! Richards abandons his flaming ladder by jumping off, and he immediately seeks revenge against Schnitzel. Incredibly, Richards drinks some of the gas and spits it through the fire, creating a backdraft of sorts through the ladder that engulfs Schnitzel and sets his hair ablaze!

6:09

Eligoor +3 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall/Submission):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +5 -3 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing/Inferno): (Pinfall/Submission/Ladder/)
Schnitzel +4 -3 (Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Submission/Pinfall/Inferno)
Hawke +2 -5 (Submission/Pinfall) :(Table/Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing)

Suddenly, Lady Hawke slams into Richards, and Richards crashes into the ladder, spilling the gas on himself and setting himself on fire, giving another bizarre fall to Lady Hawke!! The momentum of their crashing bodies into the ladder tips the ladder over as well, sending Schnitzel tumbling over the top rope and crashing into the tables below, just barely missing Eligoor in the process!! Lady Hawke picks up another inadvertent fall!

6:00

Eligoor +3 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall/Submission):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +5 -4 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing/Inferno): (Pinfall/Submission/Ladder/Inferno)
Schnitzel +4 -4 (Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing): (Submission/Pinfall/Inferno/Table)
Hawke +4 -5 (Submission/Pinfall/Inferno/Table) :(Table/Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing)

Melvyn: That’s bullshit! Why did Lady Hawke get the table fall when Richards’ body hit the ladder last?!

Tito: Because Lady Hawke was the impetus behind Richard’s hitting the ladder. It very complicated, I’m not surprised you don’t understand.

Melvyn: Once again for posterity: Your Mom!

A smile crosses Hawke’s lips, but she doesn’t see Eligoor lurking on the outside after missing the disaster with the tables. He slides under the bottom rope on the other side of the ring, and then runs at Lady Hawke, damn near decapitating her with a savage big boot!! Richards starts crawling to his feet and he picks up a ladder and throws it at Eligoor’s face, doing further damage to his already busted up nose. For at least a couple of minutes, there is no movement, all participants wounded and exhausted.

Tito: These four warriors are drained, and we are entering the closing minutes of this match!

Richards starts to get to his feet, and even Schnitzel is pulling his agonized body into the ring. The only one who seems motionless is Lady Hawke. Richards starts propping a ladder again, but Eligoor wraps him up in a full nelson. Richards hits a mule kick to Eligoor’s groin, getting him to break it. He then hits a lunging 360 degree clothesline on the big man, dropping him. Richards starts climbing the ladder yet again, heading for Lady Hawke’s gun, and the win! Schnitzel realizes how close he is to losing, and he lunges at Richards, knocking him from the ladder. He starts putting the boots to Richards before setting his sights on the ladder again. He starts climbing it….slowly….slowly….and his fingers reach Hawke’s gun. He starts to readjust the cap inside, hoping to get it to fire. Lady Hawke realizes it could be over for her and she starts to climb the ladder…her face awash with desperation. On the outside, Trine is cheering her on, but doesn’t want to dishonor her by interfering any further. Schnitzel pulls the trigger on the gun! And it fires!!

Tito: That’s a damn shame!

2:55

Eligoor +3 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall/Submission):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +5 -4 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing/Inferno): (Pinfall/Submission/Ladder/Inferno)
Schnitzel +5 -4 (Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing/Ladder): (Submission/Pinfall/Inferno/Table)
Hawke: Eliminated!

Melvyn: Awwww….thats too bad!

Tito: It is! Lady Hawke gave it her all, and it just wasn’t enough today. She couldn’t be at the top of her game, but at least she held out this long and got a respectable amount of falls.

Melvyn: Smells like excuses to me.

The fans are cheering her as Trine helps her to the back, leaving three men in the ring.

Schnitzel falls off the ladder, his body and mind drained. Eligoor is to his feet and he drags Schnitzel up again and sets him up in a powerbomb position, his face draining blood! He brings Schnitzel up and Schnitzel tries to fight out with some right hands to Eligoor’s head, but Eligoor dumps DS on the back of his head anyway!!

Eligoor: COUNT HIM DOWN!

Tito: He’s going for a Last Man Standing fall on Schnitzel!!

The ref starts to count Schnitzel down, when Richards blindsides Eligoor with a chair! Eligoor drops and Richards picks DS up, breaking the last man standing count. Richards beats Eligoor viciously with the chair as Schnitzel starts pulling himself up in the corner. DS hits a running spear on Richards and then climbs out of the ring to grab a table. He brings it in and starts propping it up in the corner. Eligoor takes this chance to grab the gas can and he throws it at DS’s head in a desperation move, following that up with a thunderous spine buster on the strange one! He calls the ref over again!!

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10! DS stays down, giving Eligoor a fall!!

1:37

Eligoor +4 -3 (Ladder/Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing):(Pinfall/Submission/Last Man Standing)
Richards +5 -4 (Pinfall/Table/Submission/Last Man Standing/Inferno): (Pinfall/Submission/Ladder/Inferno)
Schnitzel +5 -5 (Pinfall/Inferno/Submission/Last Man Standing/Ladder): (Submission/Pinfall/Inferno/Table/Last Man Standing)
Hawke: Eliminated!

Tito: It’s almost over and damn is it close!!

Eligoor picks Schnitzel up again and lays him against the table in the corner. He’s going to spear him through the table and pick up another fall!! Richards sees what Eligoor is planning to do and blindsides Eligoor with a spinning wheel kick! Eligoor goes down in a heap, blood spraying from his face as the boot connects!! Richards eyes Schnitzel with a malicious gleam in his eyes and charges Schnitzel, blasting him through the table…but Richards already has a table win! He sets up a ladder and goes for Schnitzel’s gun! He starts climbing the ladder and Schnitzel, having regained his senses, starts climbing up after him. Schnitzel meets him at the top and starts trading blows with Richards, but Richards gets the upper hand, sending Schnitzel reeling off the ladder! Richards grabs the gun and starts firing it!

1…2….3…4…5…6!!!

Richards just picked up the final fall!!

Yuri: YOUR WINNER, JONATHAN RICHARDS!!!

Tito: I'm not 100% sure what I just watched, but I'll be damned if it wasn't fun as hell!!

Melvyn: I had to wait all this time for this confusing mess?

[TKOW Board]

The Khaostron shows Bob Lancelot walking down a corridor in anticipation for his match. At one point, the corridor intersects with another, and Dark Schnitzel can be seen in the background, sitting on a blue steel chair. Schnitzel calls out to Bob.

Schnitzel: Bob Lancelot.

Bob stops dead in his tracks, but doesn't turn to face Schnitzel.

Bob: What the fuck do you want?

Schnitzel: Come forth.

Bob turns his head and looks at Schnitzel.

Bob: Why should I fuckface?

Schnitzel: We have something to discuss.

The camera follows Bob as he walks over to Schnitzel. Schnitzel is heaving heavily, as result of the beating he's sustained in his match (If I lose, any injury I sustain in the match can be carried over to this segment).

Bob: Yeah, what is it? Spill it.

Schnitzel: *Not looking at Bob* Your alliance with Jace Mingla.

Bob: What about it?

Schnitzel: It is interfering with our already existing alliance, and with my plans. Therefore, you must end it.

Bob looks at Schnitzel without saying anything. Then he begins to turn red, and his tone becomes more offensive.

Bob: Since when have I done anything you told me to? Just who the fuck do you think you are?

Schnitzel: It seems you have forgotten who's gotten you this far.

Bob: Excuse me?

Schnitzel: I have been instrumental in your success. I am the reason why you even tasted gold in the first place.

Bob: Oh yeah, some big help you are. You're the one who also "helped" me lose my title to Carpenter, remember?

Schnitzel: Is it my fault that you always seem to choke whenever you there's something big on the line? I have not woven that fate for you.

Bob gets real close to Schnitzel.

Bob: Listen to me, you big sack of shit. I'M the reason why I'M successful. I don't need your fucking help. Who are you? Nobody! That's right nobody! The only reason I lost the TV Title is because I don't fucking need it. That shit's beneath me. I have better things in mind, like winning the TKOW Title, and I don't need you in order to do it. Do you understand me?!

Schnitzel: Alliances are only broken by blood. Ours is not broken, and so you will respect it. My plans will not be altered due to your insignificant whims.

Bob: Fuck you, okay? Fuck you! I can do whatever the fuck I want, and you can't do jack shit about it. We don't even fucking talk, you just show up randomly and interfere in my matches. You think I need that shit?

Schnitzel: I have plans Bob, you don't interfere in my plans.

Bob sneers and puts his face right in front of Schnitzel.

Bob: I don't care about your fucking plans, cumstain. I'm going to do whatever I fucking feel like, and you can't do a thing about it.

Schnitzel: I shall punish Jace Mingla for interfering with my plans, and everything will be restored to its rightful order.

Bob: You can't win a match to save your fucking life. You're all talk. I hope Mingla will rip out your spleen. So go fuck yourself. You…You know what I'm going to do in a little while? I'm gonna go out there and do what I do best, and that's being hardcore. And then I'm going to win the TKOW Title, and strike alliances with every fucker in the locker room besides you. You want to try and stop me? Just try. I will fucking kill you.

Bob spits in Schnitzel's face and walks away.

Schnitzel: *Sigh* Splendid…

The lights dim in the arena and "Hardcore" by FEEL blasts through the loud speakers. Bob Lancelot walks through the curtain, wearing black tights with orange ligthening bolts on them and no shirt.

Yuri Testkov: INTRODUCING THE FIRST COMPETITOR. FROM OXFORD ENGLAND, STANDING FIVE FOOT TEN AND WEIGHING TWO HUNDRED THIRTY POUNDS, "THE HARDCORE SUPERSTAR" .... BOB... LANNNNNNCELOOOOTTT~!

Bob slides under the bottom rope and climbs the far right turnbuckle. He then hops of the turnbuckle and awaits his opponent.

Tito: Despite being in the center of a heated dispute between Dark Schnitzel and Jace Mingla, Bob Lancelot has been quiet as of late. Did he really strike an alliance with Jace Mingla? If so, how will it come to effect in this match?

Melvyn: And I'm asking Tito, who gives a shit? These schmucks have so many ways of kicking each other ass in this match, and you're worried if two of them touched each other's pee-pee?

Tito: Melvyn! Watch your language!

Melvyn: It's a PPV, schmuck. I can say whatever the hell I want!

As the crowd goes silent, a song familiar to many on Guitar Hero 1 fills the arena through the PA system and the rise to their feet casting their eyes toward the entrance. From behind the curtains emerges Avian, he walks out onto the stage and makes his way down the aisle, approaching the ring at a normal pace. His eyes, though that of innocense along with the expression on his face which is calm and carefree. His eyes focus only on the ring as he draws closer to the squared structure.

Yuri Testkov: INTRODUCING THE SECOND COMPETITOR. FROM SEATTLE WASHINGTON, WEIGHING IN AT 185 POUNDS.... AVIAN!!!

Avian tags the hands of fans which are extended out to him, letting them know his appreciation for each and everyone of them. As he arrives to the ring he turns to his left and walks over to the steps. Avian climbs the steps one by one until he reaches the ring ropes in which he steps through the center one then makes his way over to the right corner opposite of that which faces the entrance and awaits for the match to begin.

Tito: Newcomer Avian is looking to make a splash here in TKOW, and a win over these regulars could do the trick.

Melvyn: The schmuck has a better chance of pissing himself than winning this thing.
What kind of a stupid name is Avian? What does he think he is, water?

Tito: I'm pretty sure that wasn't his intention when he chose that name.

Avian reaches the ring as Lancelot exits it. Lancelot picks up a nearby chair and stares at Avian, who stares back.

"Viva Rock" by Orange Range hits as Brandon Young emerges from backstage. He stops and looks down at the ring, seeing Bob Lancelot already there... and grins. He makes his way down the ring, focusing on Lancelot.

Yuri Testkov: INTRODUCING THE THIRD COMPETITOR. FROM HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA... WEIGHING IN AT 205 POUNDS... "THE DEMON FOX" BRANDON... YOUUUUUNNNNNNGGG!!!

Tito: Brandon Young probably still has beef with Bob Lancelot over the nasty comments the latter said about Kaycee Tanner. I won't be surprised if this gets very ugly very soon.

Melvyn: It better damn well be. With only three matches on this freakin' show, they better take elephants out of their asses and beat each other with them.

Bob is reluctant to enter the ring and chooses to mouth off Brandon who had just stepped between the ropes. Brandon tries to get back out and chase Bob, but he is stopped by Avian.

Avian: Wait till the match starts man.

Brandon shoves Avian down in response and begins to pounce on him!

Tito: Would you look at that! These two are already starting to brawl, and Mingla hasn't even been announced yet!

Melvyn: Woo hoo! That's what I'm talking about!

"The Devil's Rejects" by Rob Zombie hits as Mingla appears from behind the curtains and runs down the ramp to the ring.

Yuri Testkov: *Caught by surprise* INTRODUCING THE FINAL COMPETITOR FOR THIS MATCH... JACE MINGLAAAAA!!!

Mingla quickly enters the ring, and so does Bob as the ref rings the bell.

Tito: And the match begins! Remember folks, these competitors have 30 minutes to get all six falls. If they fail to do so within the time limits, then the man with the most falls wins the match.

[TIME: 30:00
AVIAN: 0:0
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: 0:0
JACE MINGLA: 0:0]


Bob and Mingla break Avian and Young apart and whip them into opposite corners. Bob and Young slug it out in one corner while Mingla and Avian do the same in the opposite corner. Bob and Mingla then whip Avian and Young to the center of the ring. Young attempts to clothesline Avian, who ducks it. Avian runs towards Bob and attempts a flying clothesline, but Bob ducks it and Avian hits the top turnbuckle. Bob trips Avian, and catches his legs, attempting a slingshot. Bob manages it, but Avian prevents the impact by holding on to the top ropes. Avian then catches Bob's heads with his legs and sends himself and Lancelot over the top rope and to the floor. Meanwhile, Young hits Mingla with a top rope wheelbarrow kick. He then hits Mingla with a few chops, until Mingla manages to block one of them. He then gives Young a judo throw, causing him to fall straight on his ass. He then kicks him harshly in the face.

Tito: Now that will hurt in the morning!

Melvyn: Yo Tito, I gotta ask you something.

Tito: What is it?

Melvyn: If you could go back in time, would you do your mother if she's hot?

Tito: Ewwww no! That's incest!

Melvyn: What? I'll use a condom, I swear!

Tito: That is really disgusting.

Melvyn: But say you do her, and she gets pregnant. Do you think the kid would be an exact copy of yourself?

Tito: I really don't want to talk about this Melvyn! Mother, if you're watching this, I love with all my heart, just not in that way…

Out of the ring, Bob slams Avian's head on the apron. Bob then whips him into the guardrail. Avian crashes back first into the guardrail, causing him to cry out. Bob then takes a fork out of his trunks and begins to carve Avian's forehead, soon drawing blood. Back in the ring, Mingla is setting up for a fisherman's suplex, but Young fights out of it and manages to hit a DDT. Young then runs to the ropes and hits a baseball slide on the unsuspecting Bob, who is still forking Avian near the guardrail. The hit causes Bob to tumble over Avian and the guardrail.

Tito: Lots of action going on at ringside right now.

Melvyn: Look, that little schmuck still has that fork shoved in his forehead!

[TIME: 27:09
AVIAN: 0:0
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: 0:0
JACE MINGLA: 0:0]

Unfortunately for Avian, the blow causes Bob to jam the fork further into his flesh, and it is now stuck. Avian cries out in immense pain. He gets up and pulls the fork out of his forehead, and blood comes spraying out, staining his silver-blue hair and face. Meanwhile Mingla gets up and pulls up Young. Young tries to hit with a spinning heel kick, but Mingla dodges it. Mingla kicks Young in the stomach, and quickly hits Vindication. Mingla covers Young, unbeknownst to Avian climbing the ropes and jumping off, hitting both Mingla and Young with Broken Silence (630 leg drop) before the ref can even begin to count. The now heavily bleeding Avian then covers Young himself, while Mingla rolls to the outside.

1

2

3!


[TIME: 25:13
AVIAN: Pin 1:0
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: 0:-1
JACE MINGLA: 0:0]

Tito: Five minutes into the match and Avian has scored the first fall, but I don't think he'll be able to continue much further in the grave condition he's in.

Melvyn: You call that grave? That's bleeding for pussies! I bled more than that from a freaking paper cut.

Tito: Yes, I'm sure that when Bob Lancelot decides to jam a fork into your forehead, you won't shed but a couple of drops. Want me to call him over here so we can test that theory?

Melvyn: …

Blood is beginning to cover the mat and there's blood covering the most of Young's torso. The ref asks Avian if he can continue, and Avian nods his head. Avian rolls out of the ring and walks to the announcers table area. He locates one of the Paramedics at ringside, and takes a handful of bandages from his jump kit. Avian then begins to wrap the bandages around his head, in order to stop the bleeding. The camera shifts to Mingla, who is sitting with his back to the guardrail, resting and holding his neck, when suddenly Bob emerges from behind the guardrail and begins to choke him out. They both struggle for bit, and Mingla eventually manages to snapmare Bob back into ring side. Avian, who has pretty much taped his entire head with bandages, utilizes the fact that Bob is on his back and hits a rolling thunder on him.

[TIME: 22:31
AVIAN: Pin 1:0
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: 0:-1
JACE MINGLA: 0:0]

Tito: Looks like Lancelot and Mingla's alliance wasn't supposed to last much in this match.

Melvyn: That Avian schmuck looks like the younger, shorter, faggier version of Carpenter.

Avian tries to get up, but Mingla gets on top of him and locks in a camel clutch. A ringside ref comes and checks the situation. At first, Avian refuses to tap, but after a few headbutts by Mingla which threaten to rip open his bandages, he has no choice but to. Mingla picks him up for a fireman's carry, when Young hits them both with a moonsault from the apron.

Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit!

[TIME: 20:12
AVIAN: Pin 1:-1
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: 0:-1
JACE MINGLA: Sub 1:0]

Tito: Mingla gets his first fall in this match, and was probably looking to get the second before Young interfered.

Melvyn: Ten minutes into the match and no one has set himself on fire yet! What is this, Diff'rent Strokes?

Tito: Watchoo talkin' about Melvyn?

Melvyn: Shit Tito, you wanna be Gary Coleman? I think that's a new low for you.

Tito: I DO NOT want to be Gary Coleman.

Melvyn: What's wrong with being Gary Coleman Tito? You got a problem with little people?

Tito: No I don't!

Melvyn: Come on Tito, you really should come clean about it now so you can some treatment.

Tito: I really hate you right now…

Melvyn: Well it's a good thing you can't fire a gun for shit then.

Lancelot is the first to get up. When he sees that all of the other three down, he shouts.

Lancelot: Claire!!!!! Get the fucking cart!!!

The camera shifts to Claire walking down the ramp, pushing a shopping cart filled with forks.

Tito: What is he going to do with that?

Melvyn: More importantly, why is this schmuck so obsessed with forks? Did his mommy shove one up his ass when he was ten? I mean, imagine if she shoved some chop sticks instead of forks. That would have made him reallllly deadly.

Claire gives over the reigns of the cart to Bob, who waits for one of them to get up. Young is the first one to do so. Bob stalks him, and then rushes at him with the cart. Young doesn't see it until it is too late, and he is hit at full force by the cart, causing him to fall down. Bob then throws the cart on him, pouring its content on Young. Young is almost covered entirely by the forks. A recently recovered Mingla then gives Lancelot a vicious side kick to the lower abdomen, which causes Bob to fall back on the guard rail while firmly grabbing his side. Avian grabs one of the tables stationed at ringside, and throws it at Mingla, who catches it horizontally. Avian then hits the table with a dropkick, causing it to break on Mingla's face. Mingla falls down, and rolls under the ring. Avian then goes after Bob, and locks him in an abdominal stretch. Bob screams as Avian applies more pressure.

[TIME: 17:23
AVIAN: Pin 1:-1
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: 0:-1
JACE MINGLA: Sub 1:0]

Tito: Avian is putting more and more pressure on the hurting Bob Lancelot, hoping to crack him and his second fall. What is Mingla doing under ring?

Melvyn: Hopefully smoking something, that schmuck is way too uptight.

Tito: I think that'll make him even more dangerous.

Meanwhile, Young slowly gets up from beneath the barrage of forks, covered in scratches and small bruises all over his body. He sees Bob locked in the abdominal stretch by Avian. Young then climbs the guardrail and stands on it. He then runs on the guardrail in Avian's direction, and when he reaches him, Young jumps off in hits Avian with a hurricanrana, causing him to release the hold on Bob. Mingla emerges from beneath the ring, holding a box of matches in one hand and a bottle of gasoline in the other. He lets out a sadistic smile.

Tito: Things are about to get a lot more dangerous. Mingla and fire is a bad combination.

Melvyn: You mean, things are about to get a lot more interesting. Unfortunately, these pussies will probably be hosed down before the fire even sets in. You schmucks don't need fire extinguishers. Let the fire burn itself out!

Bob sees Mingla with the matches and the gasoline and decides to roll under the ring himself. Mingla walks over to the fallen Avian, and locks his head with one arm, pressing it into his torso. With his other hand, he opens the bottle of gasoline and begins to pour its contents on Avian's bandaged head. Young recovers and sees Mingla looking for the matches. He wastes no time and climbs the apron, gets close to Mingla without him noticing and then shouts at him to get his attention. Young back flips from the apron and grabs Mingla's head, and uses the momentum to drop him into a DDT!

Crowd: Holy shit! Holy Shit!

Tito: Reality Check on Mingla! Young may have just knocked him out cold!

The ringside ref begins the count on Mingla while Young and Avian are struggling to get up. Bob is still hiding under the ring.

One!

Mingla isn't moving, Young is stirring a little bit, and Avian manages to push himself away from the mattresses with his hand. His face is dripping wet with gasoline.

Two!

Mingla is still motionless. Young is starting to get up, while Avian is on one knee.

Three!

Avian is on both of his knees. Young is using the guardrail for leverage in order to get on his feet. Mingla is still lying on his stomach.

Four!

Avian gets to his feet, while Young is on one knee. Avian grabs his head and shakes it around, trying to wipe off the gasoline. Mingla's still down.

Five!

Avian sees Young getting up and runs towards him. Young notices Avian, but he still has trouble getting back on his feet. Mingla is still down.

Six!

Young notices the box of matches next to Mingla, and reaches his hand out to take it. Avian stops running in order to catch a breather and holds his chest and head. Mingla has the slightest of stirs.

Seven!

Young grabs the matchbox. He wildly opens it, and the entire matches drop out of the box and onto the floor. He takes one and tries to light it, yet it breaks. Young tries another, but that one also breaks. Avian is done resting, and he continues to run towards Young. Mingla begins to stir, and he flips over.

Eight!

Young tries match after match, but they all break. Avian reaches Young, and jumps and lunges his knee forward, looking for a flying knee strike. However, Young finally manages to light a match. He flicks the match at Avian and ducks. The match hits Avian's head, causing it to immediately catch fire. The fire quickly spreads, and Avian's entire head is aflame! Mingla sits up and hold his head.

Nine!

Avian jumps over Young and rolls on the floor, trying to put out the inferno that is his head while screaming his lungs out. Mingla gets to one knee. The ref attention is averted to the flaming Avian, and he stops the count.

Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit!

Tito: My god! Avian is on fire! Someone do something!

Melvyn: I can piss on him if you want.

Tito: Now's not the time for jokes Melvyn! This is serious!

Melvyn: What? It works in Postal 2. Well, unless you play the enhanced game. Then you have a burning piss, which doesn't really hel-

Tito: Shut up Melvyn!!!

Paramedics rush to Avian and attempt to extinguish the fire. Young and Mingla both get back on their feet, and watch the paramedics' attempts to put out the flames that encage Avian's head. One with awe, the other with total pleasure. Suddenly, both of them fall down. Bob then appears from beneath the ring, holding a table.

[TIME: 10:31
AVIAN: Pin 1:-2
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: Inf 1:-1
JACE MINGLA: Sub 1:0]

Tito: It's Bob! He tripped them both!

Melvyn: Now that's a smart panda.

The Paramedics are successful in extinguishing the fire, and the camera focuses on Avian's now smoldered face. It is hard to distinguish between the bandages and his head. Avian rolls around a little and the paramedics are calling in for a stretcher. Meanwhile, Bob thwacks Young and Mingla with the table in order to keep them down, and then sets it up. Bob picks the bottle of gasoline, and tries to douse the table, but the bottle is empty. Bob throws down the bottle in a tantrum, and tries to go under the ring again in search for a new one, but both Young and Mingla grab his legs and prevent him from doing so. Mingla tries to pick him up, yet Young kicks Mingla in the head. Mingla retaliates by spearing Young, and the two begin to trade blows, which allows Bob to slip back under the ring. The camera shifts to the paramedics and EMTs loading Avian on the stretcher and begin to move him.

Tito: The clock is ticking and the match is nearing its end. Jace Mingla, Avian, and Brandon Young have one fall each, but it's not too late for Bob Lancelot to score one of his own. Remember, if all of the remaining competitors have the same amount of falls, we will go into sudden de- *To Melvyn* What are you doing?

Melvyn is unscrewing a toothpaste tube.

Melvyn: What does it look like? I'm going to brush my teeth.

Melvyn opens the tube and takes out a toothbrush from one of his pockets.

Tito: *Angered* Do you have to do it now?!

Melvyn: Well I forgot to do it in the morning!

Tito: We're in the middle of calling a match!

Melvyn: You SO don't want to be in my mouth right now. It smells like a combination of a dead skunk and a burrito that was scraped off the feet of Communist John. You can smell it if you don't believe me.

Melvyn stands up, leans over Tito and opens his mouth. Tito turns green.

Tito: For the love of God, close your mouth!

Melvyn closes his mouth and sits back on his seat.

Melvyn: See? Am I lying now schmuck?

Tito: *sinks back into his seat.* Fine, but do it quickly.

Melvyn puts a crapload of paste on his brush and begins to brush his teeth.

Bob re-emerges from under the ring, this time holding a brand new bottle of gasoline. He pours it on the table he'd set up. Bob then starts to look for the matches. Mingla gives Young a hard forearm to the jaw, which succeeds in keeping him down. Mingla gets up and stalks Bob, who is still looking for the matches. Mingla grabs Bob from behind and hits a leg sweep facebuster. At this point of the match, it seems to have knocked the wind out of both of them, as both of them stay down. Bob rolls on his back and grabs his face, checking if he has broken his nose. Meanwhile, Young slowly recovers. He gets up, and while holding his jaw, goes near the side of the ring where Bob set up the table, and looks under the apron. He soon finds something, and it takes him a while until he pulls a very long ladder. He slides it into the ring, and the slides in himself.

[TIME: 6:24
AVIAN: Pin 1:-2
BOB LANCELOT: 0:0
BRANDON YOUNG: Inf 1:-1
JACE MINGLA: Sub 1:0]

Tito: Nearly 24 minutes into the match and the ladder makes its first appearance. Brandon Young is going for the ladder fall, and what could be a more perfect opportunity as both Mingla and Lancelot are seemingly down and out. Does Young have enough strength in him to climb that tall ladder? Will he be the one to advance to the next round?

Melvyn is still brushing his teeth, as foam flows downwards from the sides of his mouth.

Tito: How long does it take you to wash your teeth? It's been two minutes!

Melvyn: *While still brushing his teeth, foam flowing down his chin.* Well I have to be thorough, Tito.

Tito: Wait, what's this?!

The crowd explodes in cheers, as Avian is seen struggling to get off of the stretcher halfway up the ramp. He is screaming "Let me go!" while rocking the stretcher, threatening to turn it over. The paramedics stop in their footsteps, and they try to restrain him but to no vain. After realizing that they can’t stop him, the paramedics unhook the straps and aid Avian to get on his feet. With newfound, unexplained strength, Avian rushes back to the ring. While this is all happening, Brandon sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring and slowly but surely begins to climb it. Mingla and Bob are beginning to shake off the cobwebs.

Tito: I can't believe it! This kid, who had his forehead torn apart by a fork, who barley survived an incident that could have ended his career, more importantly his life, is not giving up! He's coming back for more; he wants to win this thing! This kid is one tough bastard!

Melvyn is still brushing his teeth, and foam is now dripping on his shirt and pants.

Mingla and Bob are trying to get up when they see Avian running at them at full speed. Bob is quick to his wits and quickly rolls once again under the ring. Mingla, who notices Avian a little later than Bob, narrowly evades a clothesline attempt by Avian and slides into the ring. Avian looks at Mingla and then takes one of the matches spread on the floor, lights it with the matchbox, and throws it in the direction of the table that is doused with gasoline, igniting it!

Tito: How can he even get near fire after what he's been through!?

Avian rolls into the ring, and is immediately greeted with a barrage of fists by Mingla. However, Avian fights back! Meanwhile, Bob emerges once again from under the ring, holding another table. Bob slides it in the ring with him, and sets up behind Young, who is more than halfway up the ladder, and so he doesn't Bob's actions. Bob then begins to climb the ladder himself, and manages to catch up with Young. Lancelot then grabs Young's waist and begins to pull. At this point of the match Young is too tired and aching to resist. Bob yanks him off the ladder with a release German suplex, that's sends Young crashing into the table below with a sickening thud!

Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit!

[TIME: 5:03
AVIAN: Pin 1:-2
BOB LANCELOT: Tab 1:0
BRANDON YOUNG: Inf 1:-2
JACE MINGLA: Sub 1:0]

Tito: Look at that! Bob is still clinging to the ladder!

Bob is still holding on to the ladder using his legs and he is hanging upside down on it. Bob then releases his leg hold while holding on to the ladder with his hands in an attempt to reverse his position. His legs land on one of the levels below him, nearly breaking it. The ladder shakes strongly, but, fortunately for Bob, it doesn't fall down and Bob continues to climb up the ladder. Meanwhile, Mingla and Avian are brawling with all they've got. Mingla gives Avian a huge punch, yet Avian rebounds on the ropes and gives Mingla a knocker of his own and Mingla does the same thing.

Tito: Bob Lancelot is nearly at the top of the ladder with less than four minutes left on the clock! Will he be able to do it?

Bob reaches the top of the ladder and grabs hold of one of the cap six-shooters that are secured to cables. He shoots it.

*BANG!*

At the sound of the caps going off, Avian and Mingla discontinue their brawl and turn to look at Bob at the top of the ladder, shooting the gun.

*BANG!*

They look at each other and then rush to the ladder.

*BANG!*

They grab it from the side opposite to Bob and tip it.

*BANG!*

Bob struggles to stay on the ladder and keep hold of the gun.

*BANG!*

Bob loses his grip on the gun and grabs for the ladder.

Tito: So close! He got 5 shots of the 6 he needed. If he can just grab it again and get that 6th shot!

Bob makes a grab for the gun again, but the ladder begins to fall and Lancelot's hand just misses the pistol grip. He falls down from the top of the falling ladder and through the burning table!

Crowd: Bob is dead! Bob is dead! Bob is dead!

Tito: Oh my God! This is completely unbelievable! I don't think Bob will able to walk out of this, alive even! My God…

Melvyn uses Tito's distracted state to his favor and spits in his cup.

EMT's are immediately surrounding Bob, and put out the flaming table. The camera catches a glimpse of Bob's trunks catching fire before it quickly put out. Others are trying to pull Young out of the ring.

Tito: *Regaining his composure* Well as we can see, it looks as Bob Lancelot has caught fire in addition to being put trough a table, so I believe that it counts as a double fall for the both of them. With three falls each, now we know the next fall in this match will be the decisive and, with a bit over two minutes left in the clock, they better know that, too.

[TIME: 2:25
AVIAN: Pin Tab Inf 3:-2
BOB LANCELOT: Tab 1:-2
BRANDON YOUNG: Inf 1:-2
JACE MINGLA: Sub Tab Inf 3:0]

Both Mingla and Avian quickly glance at the timer and then each of them grabs the ladder and together they set it at the middle of the ring. They begin to climb from different ends of the ladder, and once they reach the top, they begin to slug it out with all the strength they have left.

Tito: *Screaming* Come on kid! You've worked so far, you got this far! You're one tough kid; I know you can do it! You can do it kid, you can beat Mingla!

Mingla lays a hard blow to Avian who reels from the hit and slips! The crowd gasps then relaxes as he catches himself on the rail and rung of the ladder on the side. Jace takes the opportunity and reaches up and grabs the pistol and fires!

*BANG!*

Avian hears and instead of climbing back up his side, he swings his feet toward the inside and kicks at Jaces' legs through the rungs!

*BANG!*

Jace manages to hang onto the grip but his feet are swept out from under him!

*BANG!*

Avian draws back and kicks at Mingla through the ladder again and this time he swings him out. Jace grabs the ladder with one hand as the ladder rocks precariously, but he pulls the ladder back by keeping hold of the gun! Avian uses the momentum to swing himself back out to his own side and scampers up the rungs toward the top.

*BANG!*

Tito: Four shots for Mingla! He only needs 2 more to get the ladder fall!

As Mingla regains his footing and grip on the ladder, Avian leans over the top of the ladder and grabs Mingla's arm and then attempts to swing out, but Mingla grabs him by the hair of his head with his other arm, lets go of the gun and slams Avian back into the ladder as it starts to tip, righting it.

Tito: THIRTY SECONDS LEFT! WILL WE GO INTO SUDDEN DEATH?!

Mingla sends a thunderous elbow that seemingly knocks Avian out. Mingla keeps hold of Avian and hoists him on his shoulders. Mingla balances himself for a second or two and then jumps off, hitting the Martyr Maker on Avian from the top of the ladder! Mingla pins!

1...

2...

3!!!!!!!

[TIME: 0:20
AVIAN: Pin Tab Inf 3:-3
BOB LANCELOT: Tab 1:-2
BRANDON YOUNG: Inf 1:-2
JACE MINGLA: Sub Tab Inf Pin 4:0]

Mingla gets to his knees and then his feet and looks at the time. He stumbles to the ladder and starts to climb again. Brandon Young shoves the ladder over after getting to his feet!

Tito: What's Mingla doing? He's already got 4 falls!

Melvyn: Did you get the $10,000 bonus for perfect 6 falls?

Brandon Young climbs out of the remains of the table, climbs into the ring and rams the ladder, forcing Mingla to drop off it to the mat.

The crowd counts down.

Crowd: Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!

Mingla glares at Young, but leans against the ropes and rests.

Crowd: FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!!

The bell rings at zero. A ref slides into the ring and holds up Mingla's arm.

Yuri Testkov: ADVANCING TO THE SIX-SHOOTER IRON CHALLENGE FINALS.... JAAAAACCE MMMIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGLLLAAAAA!!!

"The Devil's Rejects" by Rob Zombie hits as paramedics are pretty much all over ringside, tending to the wrestlers. The camera focuses on Avian pitch black face, now decorated in crimson red, and on Young's bloody and beaten face, and his scratch filled body. The camera then focuses on Bob reaction less face, as he is being put in a cervical collar.

Tito: What carnage, what total and utter carnage! These four men have used every ounce of power in their bodies, both mentally and physically, to win this match. Eventually, it was Jace Mingla who braved the battle, and who will go on to face three other wrestlers in the finals. Is this mayhem just a taste of things to come? Oh, I have to take a drink break, my throat is killing me.

Melvyn watches in anticipation as Tito drinks from his cup, without noticing what's in it. Not a second goes by and Tito spits what he has consumed in disgust, and looks at his cup. Then, he looks at Melvyn.

Tito: *With a murderous look in his eyes* You… bastard…

Melvyn: *Snickering* Good one, huh?

Tito: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!

[TKOW Board]

Tobias Burden wins the third 6-shooter match.

Adrian Tanner Jr def Dan "Cypher" Killburn at the 32 minute mark when Dan fails to respond to a ten count.

Aello is found under the hands of Phoenix by Matt when he hears loud crashes from an unused locker room. The room is in shambles and Aello is a bloody mess.

Jace Mingla def Tobias Burden and Jonathan Richards to win his second consecutive Invitational.

Dr Hawke reports to T.H. Power that Aello has no bruising or cuts, and that the blood isn't even hers. Traces of chloroform were detected. Matt was already on his way to the ring.

Phoenix retains the TKOW Title when neither man responds to the ten count after a simultaneous bat/weightbar headshot at the 48 minute mark. Oxygen depravation may have played a part, as the sides of the cage were set on fire by Phoenix ten minutes prior after Carpenter doused the sides in kerosine after rapelling to the roof from the ceiling.